I went out for one hour and came home at 12noon and my husband was playing his video football game. He said he was taking a break from his online classes, I didn't want to bother him so I let him be, but I told him I talked with a good friend of mine who is married to a doctor and gets to travel around the world, and I told him i wanted to be able to do that to. After this conversation he ended up playing the video game until 7:30pm!! I would just like to know WHY did he stay on so long? We made love the night before and this action makes me feel like he used me for sex and got what he wanted so he did not want to spend time with me this next afternoon, or was it my talking about my friends life that kept him away? When questioned he just said he was playing.....but who wants to make love to someone if they are going to act like this to you the next day?
2006-10-10 07:45:53 · 15 answers · asked by ilih2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You might be reading to much into this we are all guilty of becoming involved in gaming and losing track of time you can not expect him to spend every waking moment with you if you do you will burn out fast. But if this is an ongoing issue you must sit down and rationally discus the problems with him in an adult and non threatening manner.
2006-10-10 07:52:48 · answer #1 · answered by Carl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think any of the things you've mentioned are necessarily related in any way. You made love the night before....that's great! You told him about your talk with your friends and your hopes for the future.....that's great (if he was listening, lol. Men often don't care for this type of what they consider to be chit-chat)! He played the video game all day.....that sucks but I don't think it's the result of anything other than poor time management and obsessiveness about the game. My son and my hubby often suffer from that same "illness", lol. Sometimes I want to cancel the internet service or smash the video game console. Oh well, life goes on and there are other more important things to worry myself over so I pick my battles wisely. If this is an ongoing trend, talk to him. Don't badger, degrade or accuse him, just talk to him about how cast aside you are feeling. Good luck.
2006-10-10 08:05:28 · answer #2 · answered by Super-Mom9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hon you are worry too much about this, if he plays game too many times a week that'll be an issue but some time that's all men do , regarding comparing between your owm life and your friend's that's not fair for him also, the fact is you guy love each other and so what if you can't have what your friend have? maybe you need to look at the finacial that allow you to do things with your husband, is it worth it to have a nice vacation and afterward worry about the money that you spent? should you save the money for something else good in the future? there's more important things in life than just comparing from one to another.comunication is most important to all relationship , talk to your husband and be open about how you feel , first you'll breath alot easier second if you dont tell him how you feel how do you expect him to know what is in your mind? so good luck and please have a good conversation with your husband everything will be alright , good luck
2006-10-10 08:34:18 · answer #3 · answered by kevin n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had something similar happen with my wife. Listen. Making love the night before has nothing to do with what he is feeling at that very moment. What you did may be correlated in your head but for him, you walked over him and made him feel that what he does for you is not enough - essentially, you made him feel less of a man because you sounded like you were comparing your life with your friend's and he came up short.
Therefore, he was pissed off beyond belief and he did what made him feel better which was to play the video game.
When you say "but who wants to make love to someone if they are going to act like this to you the next day?", I'd suggest that you should not link the two together. You did not have sex to use him to travel the world - did you? Well, I'm sure he felt that way a bit.
If you want such a lifestyle, suggest it to your husband but for God's sake, do not mention your friend's lifestyle. That's trespassing on what your man feels he's provided you. Men like to feel like they are in control and that women appreciate what they do.
I'd say, you should push out the way he acted out of your mind be realizing that you inadvertantly instigated it. Then, remember why you really love hi, and married him. Then, see if you feel like making love. Say sorry to him about what you said earlier (even if you don't really feel sorry), Make love, then after that say something like, "Honey, you have done a lot for me and I appreciate it. But, my biggest dream is to travel the world. I know that we are not rich but we should try and do that as and when we can." DO NOT MENTION YOUR FRIEND OR HER HUSBAND AT ALL. Then see what he says. You will be surprised.
Additionally, readjust your expectations about travelling. If your husband is not a doctor or rich as such, he may not be able to afford it. In that case, you can't and shoudn't travel like your friend does. This is not a contest to find out who sees more quicker. This is a contest to see who retires well and has money to do things and survive.
Finally, Talk to your husband about this whole episode in a calm way. If you still don't like what I have said (which is literally from personal experience), then go to a counsellor. You need a readjustment in priorities.
2006-10-10 07:59:40 · answer #4 · answered by kettlechipsdude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gurl don't even worry about him. You already talked to him and he says he was just playing the game maybe he just was. My boyfriend does it all the time. It only makes me angry because as soon as he knows I'm mad he'll sleep with me as in "compensation" . The thing is only you know him well enough to be able to tell if he did it to get back at you (the bastard) or to just play (the ingrate). In my opinion you should not worry about his actions as much because apparently he doesn't care to much for your feelings he is going to do whatever he wants regardless of what you say or do. If what you said did bother him he should try to bend a little bit or make the changes necessary to give you what you want instead of acting like a little kid and try to get back at you by chosing a game over you or putting you off.
2006-10-10 08:03:47 · answer #5 · answered by precious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy doesn't think about this stuff at all. If the video game is fun, he'll play it all day. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. I bet if you offered him some food he would put down his game and eat with you. You should try using him for sex as well. Have him go down on you, and when your done, tell him your tired and go to sleep. I bet he'll get the message.
2006-10-10 08:19:12 · answer #6 · answered by The Hispanic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a bother That is like this.. he is married and has two children.. his wife is so sweet and sometime i think that he doesn't deserve her.. well i think it a lot...loll! but Guys sometimes are like that and well you should have a talk with him and maybe limit the time he spends playing video games.. and tell him the day before that you would like to spend time with him so he won't make any other plans... communication is the key!
2006-10-10 07:57:21 · answer #7 · answered by maria U 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well let's see, you threw someone else in his face. Making the case, although not saying it outright; that he wasn't good enough. He retreated. Simple as that. Now you spin it into sex the night before and how you feel used.
Talk to your husband. It appears that he is attempting to better himself by taking courses so your life together will be better. A man's ego is fragile. Comparing him with someone who already has wealth etc, is just a slap in his face.
2006-10-10 08:08:30 · answer #8 · answered by tallerfella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever played a really good video game?
I think I played The Sims for 24 hours straight once. Video games can be more addictive than heroin.
2006-10-10 07:57:38 · answer #9 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No man wants to hear about what some other man is doing with his wife because it makes him feel in adequate as a man, he was angry but instead of voicing it to you he just deescalated by playing his game, he was not using you for sex or anything like that. there is a way to let your man know your intentions with out comparing him with some one else
2006-10-10 08:00:18 · answer #10 · answered by EDDIE B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋