All right... Last night we were watching a tv series and there was a part when the main character[he] remember the time where he have a good time with his best friend[ which is a girl that he really like ] and he already have a girlfriend..And I go omg he still hungup on her? And my husband answer yea there are many things we can't forget about the past where we have a happy memeories with this person.. We always think about the past every now and then.. And I go WHAT? And he quickly say nothing.. And that got me SO FREAKIN PISSED!!! It make me think about how he still think about his first love and his first girlfriend.. The more I think about it the more I'm so mad.. I already have a thing in the past.. When we were living together he have his ex girlfriend pic frame and put it in a table for several months.. At first I thought it was a friend until I know it was his ex girlfriend pic that was on the table... So is it just jealous or am I wrong for being this mad!! ???
2006-10-10 07:44:58 · 16 answers · asked by funkysha916 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No. You're not wrong for your feelings. Just taking it the wrong way. The main reason women have problems with men would be for the simple fact that we aren't women. You look at something we do as you would from a female friend or confidant. We're not as emotionally complex as you are. We don't put hidden meaning in everything we do. We aren't constantly thinking about old experiences. We're logical, easy going creatures. Women are emotionally based, high strung creatures. (( Note Disclaimer: There are exceptions to EVERY rule so when I generalize, I do so knowing this fact. ))
A man looks at a situation on one, maybe two levels. Women see it on several. If more women saw us as the MEN we are and not projecting their insecurities, uncertainties and emotions on us there'd be more understanding and less fighting I promise you. Look at the very plane, simple facts here: Who is he with? Who does he love? Who does he come home to? If the answer is "You" for all three of these, then get over the hang up and be cool. You didn't like the picture, he removed it right? For a man it's a simple thing to do. We don't care one way or another. What we want is to be happy and made happy. We get that from a couple sources. Mainly from our signifficant others. So we cope and alter our habbits to keep you happy so we are then loved as we need. It's a give and take. Most men enter a relationship hoping she never changes. Most women enter a relationship hoping to to change him. This is our hell. So we compramise and change who we are little by little until we reach apoint we nolonger feel like ourselves anymore. That's when we start to see you as nagging and annoying. Oh, and never nag. Talk to him like a person. If he's not "getting the clue" he's probably tuning you out or doesn't want to do what you want him to do. So sit down and talk to him about it. Leave out the accusations and fingerpointing. Leave out the "storming out of the room" or the "fuc k you's" and just BE a caring, loving couple. Keep in mind, Men respond to words of Respect like women respond to words of Love. (( damn I'm all Kung-Fu wise, eh? ))
2006-10-10 08:00:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're wrong for being mad at him for saying what he said. Because it is true. I'm married for the third time, and had been in love a few times; have been infatuated, crazy about people and whatnot. Just because I have good memories of my past does not invalidate my enjoyment of the present and my looking forward into the future. I feel blessed to be married to my husband, I just can't imagine anyone else who could take his place. But I do have the memories, and I do think about the past. My past had made me who I am now; it is possible that had I not had these experiences, I would not be as appreciative of what I now possess. Be realistic... Everyone has a past, and everyone thinks about it.
That said... I think it was totally inappropriate of him to put up the ex g/f's photo in a home he was sharing with you. I would feel it was downright offensive if a picture of "another woman" was displayed in my home. We all have our pictures from the past - but once the new relationship is on the horizon, the past should be put away out of sight.
2006-10-10 07:59:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People think about past relationships. It doesn't mean they still love that person, or want to be with them in any way. Those other women were on the path that lead to you, so of course he's not going to forget. The important thing is: HE'S WITH YOU.
I don't think you should be angry with him. You do need, however, to determine why you feel jealous. If you are insecure about something about yourself or your marriage, you need to face it. Ignoring it will only cause future issues.
Talk to your husband about your feelings. Be honest, and if you discover there is something that makes you feel this way, let him know so you two can work on it together.
2006-10-10 07:50:13 · answer #3 · answered by Sativa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My feeling is that while some people might harbor nostalgia for the past like your boyfriend, his candor was rather ignorant. Anyone with a pulse would have been pissed off hearing what you heard, so I don't think you are wrong for being mad. While I can appreciate his honesty, I think it's a major red flag that he seems to be living in the past. The fact that he verbalized this to you means that it is probably more than just a fleeting thought.
2006-10-10 07:52:25 · answer #4 · answered by Rckets 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are acting very jealous!!! Why are you afraid of his past? Do you think he never loved anyone before? And guess what, if you two break up, he'll love someone else in the future. You have to get over it, and now! Concentrate on how it is now with him... make it as good as you can, and quit worrying about it. Don't you ever have memories of good things that happened in the past, and people you cared about?
2006-10-10 07:49:56 · answer #5 · answered by JP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breathe in, breathe out....Ok, its hard to answer this because you didnt say how long you have been together with your husband....if he still has contact with her..etc. I think about the past often, especially the happy memories. Just because you are in a relationship, doesnt mean that you have to erase all the memories of former relationships. So just calm down, be secure with yourself and think...isnt there some guy before your husband that just rocked your world? Have you ever thought about him...honestly.
2006-10-10 07:50:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing there physically anymore so all he is left with is his memories. You mean to tell me that things like that out of your past never cross your mind? We may be able to control our mates but we can never control what goes on in their heads. He married you so apparently he wants to be with you and loves you. He probably made no more conversation to avoid an agreement.
2006-10-10 07:50:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We can't just blot out happy memories from the past when we meet someone else. I can't see why you feel threatened by your husband's happy memories. They are in the past. Can you honestly say that you have no such memories?
2006-10-10 07:53:50 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may have been innocent but you are right that maybe he still has feelings 4 her....anyways him having a pic of here is not 2 cool.....
2006-10-10 08:07:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, Get a Life!
2006-10-10 07:47:25 · answer #10 · answered by onelonevoice 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋