we then desided to work things out , even though he is nicer to me now he keeps doing the same thing, sleeping on the couch, he doesnt tell me he loves me, he still sometimes stays at his own office to work late or work on his thesis, we have argued on this because i no longer trust him, and he swears to me that he is now telling me the truth, but, he still sleeps on the couch, not with his cell phone anymore, but hegetsmad wen i confront him on this we can never get anyweere i end up crying, im begining to think there isnt anything towork out in this relation ship. help
2006-10-10 07:17:36 · 15 answers · asked by jackiegradilla 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why stay married? The way that you have described this relationship it just sounds destined to fall apart. If neither of you are happy, just get out of it!
2006-10-10 07:21:10 · answer #1 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really want it to work, i would suggest going to a marriage counselor.
sleeping on the couch once in a while is one thing, but sleeping on the couch with his cell? come on.
what is the reason that you dont trust him anymore? was he having an affair and using working late and his thesis as an excuse to be with someone else?
i think that the only way that your marriage is going to work out is with a lot of communication and a lot of compromise. usually a marriage counselor will help with that.
good luck
2006-10-10 07:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is better just to call it quits before you end up even more hurt then you already are. Sometimes I think people waste too much energy on relationships that are better off being put to an end. I think your sanity and self esteem are worth more. It will be difficult at first to let go but all in all it will get easier and your mental anguish will be put to rest. Sorry you are going through these tough times. Good luck!
2006-10-10 07:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by yomama h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the same things are going on now then you can pretty much expect the reason for it. You cant trust a liar when they say they aren't lying. If he lied its up to him to do whatever is necessary to make you feel comfortable in trying to regain trust. He has to be an open book and has to stop the questionable behavior. He hasn't done any of that. Its time to regain your sanity and get out.
2006-10-10 07:25:46 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love doesn't feel like that. Love isn't supposed to make you cry unless he is on one knee with a ring in his hand.The fact that he gets mad is because he is avoiding the truth. He doesn't know how to express to you that he wants to move on. If cheating almost destroyed your marriage and he was the cheater. It's more likely that he isn't finish chasing the trash in the streets.If he is not showing any effort in bringing you guys back together then that should let you know he is done. however if you were the cheater it's much harder for a man to get over that.
2006-10-10 07:36:58 · answer #5 · answered by sex-c-one 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what almost destroyed it? infedility? on his part? what is missing for him....or for you...
seek counseling from either your church or another source...If you really want the marriage...
Also find out why he can't sleep in your bed....I spent 3 yrs on the couch cause I could not stand to be in the same bed as the man I was with.....and I don't regret it...I am 5+ yrs out of that relationship and SO SO much happier...life is short....things can be taken away from you so suddenly....you deserve to be with someone who is open and willing to work on your relationship...think seriously about things..
Trust is hard to rebuild.....maybe this is the end...don't give up, life with a partner is anything but fun...
good luck...
2006-10-10 07:25:17 · answer #6 · answered by Babsygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so against divorce but you are leaving a whole lot out for me to argue hang in there and do whatever it takes to make it work. From what little you have said, I have to say make a clean break and that the should have never taken place. I appall divorce, but you just aren't teling me enough. Church and counseling... a cop out. Talk to your mate if he in fact is supposed to be your mate.
2006-10-10 07:33:37 · answer #7 · answered by 817_TX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the decision is totally on you--if you feel like it is over, only you can know what to do---it is your life----if it seems like there is no hope, give him an ultimatum....be like what are we doing here? Is there really a future for us? or we have _____ days, weeks, or months to get this fixed or it is over----setting some type of deadline or goal to work towards is always good....it can help get some things in perspective-----just some ideas.....keep us posted!
2006-10-10 07:21:48 · answer #8 · answered by SuzyBelle04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trying talking to each other. Go to church, it is a shame that there is so much divorce going on. It sounds like ya really love each other and there is plenty to save. Try doing extra activities and work on ya trust issues.
2006-10-10 07:21:53 · answer #9 · answered by God's chosen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you both need marriage councelling. I hope it works out for you two. If councelling doen't work and you can't take what he is doing to you, you have no choice but to either live with it or end the marriage.
2006-10-10 07:20:54 · answer #10 · answered by Mary Smith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋