A few weeks ago, I met a guy and we went on a few dates. I really liked him, so i introduced him to my friends. Then he went funny on me and stopped returning my calls. The same weekend my best friend went down with a migraine and was "very ill." Turns out she had him round at hers. However, I didn't find this out until she brought along her "new boyfriend" to a mutual friends birthday party 2 weeks ago. They are still seeing each other now. Am i right to be annoyed?
2006-10-10 05:50:47 · 96 answers · asked by celtic_butterfly1983 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
you should be VERY annoyed...a real friend wouldnt do this to you....rid yourself of both of these worthless piles of elephant s*hit....good luck
2006-10-10 05:54:19 · answer #1 · answered by kimbersweet 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely! Your friend knew that you liked this guy and if she was really your friend she should have had nothing to do with him and should have fought whatever feelings she might have had for him. Friendship is not just about doing the easy things, true friendship is tested when its against all odds. And she can't even say she didn't feel it was wrong, cause otherwise she would have been open about it and not hidden behind a migraine. She clearly and knowing did you wrong and you have every right to feel angry and betrayed.
If she was a true friend to you as you thought, she should have been open and honest about it with you. If she couldn't do that then you really need to question your relationship with her. Does she really see you as HER friend?
That said, you still have the power to decide whether you will let her keep you down or whether you will rise above it and above her. You can decide to lug this kind of luggage around or dump it together with this so-called friend and this guy who you are so much better off without. It's a good thing it happened before you invested too much time and emotion in him. Take solace in the notion that what goes around, comes around...
2006-10-11 21:20:20 · answer #2 · answered by Achieng A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you do have a right to be annoyed. You (as far as you knew) had been dating (you don't mention breaking up even so as far as you were concerned you were still dating he was just acting oddly).
Had he informed you he would see other people as well then he wouldn't be at fault. However he went 'funny' on you instead. This should have been the point where either he or your friend (doesn't sound like a 'best' friend to me) should have told you what was going on.
The fact that you had introduced him to your friends means your 'friend' knew of your relationship and therefore should have discussed with you any intentions she had or that she may have witnessed him making towards her.
I'd be ready to beat the tar out of her by now. He sounds like a total rat though so you're better off without. She however needs to explain herself and her reasons for stabbing you in the back. She's more at fault than him, she's supposed to be your mate.
I'd get her to sit down and explain herself and if her explanation doesn't satisfy you then cut her out of your life. You don't need to surround yourselves with those who care so little for you (seemingly).
2006-10-12 12:01:21 · answer #3 · answered by Sarey Gamp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are absolutely not wrong to be annoyed. If your best friend would have met him first and you would have done the same to her, what would she have felt like? (She'd probably be pretty pissed off...)
Love is very tricky though. If they really like each other, they should have been HONEST with you to start with. Sneeking around is nothing but cowardly!
She owes you an apology... a big one. If she's your best friend, don't cut her out of your life just yet, guys usually don't last forever... The situation might affect you now, but things get better with time. That's how the human mind works... We find reasons to justify most things we do... Time will catch up with her though, and she'll probably realize she hasn't been very kind to you.
Hope it all goes well. Good luck.
2006-10-12 03:21:44 · answer #4 · answered by rakel_ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every bloody right to be annoyed -- even furious. Your best friend is dating a guy that you liked and were dating. That's uncalled for and so wrong. My friends and I just do not go there. Ex-boyfriends, etc no matter how long we were dating just is a no-go area, off-limits (of course, if we're talking married couple, then it's worse!). Apparently, your friend does not have boundaries at all, which is why she has done this horrible thing. I think she has handled the entire thing very badly. You should confront her -- not antagonistically, but ask her why, etc. and think if your friendship with her is worth more than this.
As much as you're annoyed and everything, I wouldn't waste too much of my time on it if I were you.
As for the guy, I just wouldn't give him the time of day. If he did it to you, he might do it to her.
2006-10-12 07:22:25 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you do have every right to feel annoyed about your friend seeing a guy you use to date.
You really liked him and probably still do. This could be the reason why you feel annoyed.
The best thing for you to do is to look for somebody new. Forget him. He turned funny on you and stopped returning your calls. He might go and do the same thing to your friend.
2006-10-10 06:46:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello. There would be something very wrong with you if you WEREN'T annoyed: they have both betrayed your trust, and in a despicable way too.
I know that this is stuck to you; I know that you feel absolutely terrible by their betrayal. But nothing good can come of letting this take over your life. YOU are the only who has NOT acted without integrity: this will effect their lives FOREVER don't you think it won't: there is always a "payback" by mother nature; for this kind of deed.
You take the higher road: hold your head up high and realise that they are not for you: there is someone out there who is infinitely better - just for you.
All the very best.
2006-10-10 22:08:01 · answer #7 · answered by Bluebells21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time to lose the "best friend." This is what "crossing the line" means. Although you and this guy were not serious, for your friend to not give you the heads up and in fact LIE to you about being ill, the whole thing just stinks. First, she obviously has NO loyalty. Second, she is not an honest person, and then lastly, instead of talking to you, she shows up at a party that she knows you'll be at with the guy without telling you she was now dating him? With friends like her, who needs enemies?
She crossed the line and i'd turn and run as fast as I could if I were you.
2006-10-10 05:56:01 · answer #8 · answered by HootieFan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you were right to be annoyed. The same thing happened to me, whereby I was dating a guy X for a few dates. He was tall, good-looking, charming and so adorable. We clicked so well and share the same interests/wavelength, etc. I really liked him and wanted him to be more of a part of my life. So I introduced him to my close friends. Everyone got along and had fun during that first dinner meeting.
A few days after that, he stopped returning my calls & sms-es. This went on for 2-3 weeks. I was getting worried. The next thing I knew, I heard he had been sms-ing one of my girl friends (they met during that dinner) on daily basis, even when he was travelling on work! She didn't tell me what's been happening but she told one of our mutual friends.
When I heard about this, I was very annoyed, hurt, and pissed off. As soon as I managed to get a hold of him, he confirmed what he did and has the nerve to tell me not to get upset with my girl friend. Oh well... I was very upset, alright! When I asked this girl friend of mine about it, she also has the cheek to tell me that she thought it was all ok since I was not going steady with him.
WHAT??!! WHAT KIND OF CLOSE FRIEND IS THIS?? I asked myself.
Anyway, since then, I avoided meetings/contacts with both of them. It made me sick whenever I think about it. My other girl friends were outraged on my behalf but when can I do about it?
All these happened a while ago. I got over my annoyance but I cannot forget the betrayal. I am also smarter this time. If I meet any nice guys, I don't introduce him to any of my close friends any more. I just enjoy the one-to-one company!!
2006-10-11 04:05:59 · answer #9 · answered by ladymeow_2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I fully understand why you feel so hurt , angry and betrayed. I definately would too, but try to look at it this way; this guy doesn't seem to have felt the same connection with you that you felt /felt for him. It was always only ever going to end up with the same outcome - you and he were not going to be together. It must seem like fate or whatever's playing some sort of a sick game on u ,in that you introduce this guy to your friends and they both 'repay' you by getting together. Im sure they did consider the consequences of his linking up with your friend and utimately decided that the upfront approach was the most honest. It may not seem like it to you now, but, they've made it very clear, very quickly that they're an item, so they're not indulging in any hurtful underhand deception. If your friend had come to you and told you she liked this guy and would you mind if she started seeing him, if you were really good friends you probably would have said 'Go for it ' No point in the both of you being unhappy. You will feel hurt and you will feel let down, but maybe your friend was in a no-win situation anyway. Please don't listen to misguided friends who will try to turn you against your friend by poisoning your mind against her. You will meet the guy you want to be with and who knows... you could find yourself in exactly the same situation. Good Luck xox
2006-10-10 06:13:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your new boyfrind liked your friend more than you,he obviously has no morals dumping you then going with your friend,if he had any sense,he would know that you girls tell each other everything, i know, ive been in the poo so many times ive lost count.
As for your so called friend, if a person calls theirself "Friend" then they put that above some bit of fun, is your friend thick, not to realise you would be hurt and upset by doing this to you, friends like that you dont need, a friend is loyal, trustworthy and puts you before theirself, they care about and for you, not stab you in the back the moment its turned.yes your right to be annoyed, as a martial artist i would have floored them both, but im a grumpy ****, hope you find the best looking guy around and really pee your so called friend off, regards Ray x
2006-10-10 21:18:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋