Okay so I was married to this jerk for 6 years we had two gorgeous children. We divorced in 2000 after I left him in because of domestic violence. Now he has a new woman (she knows nothing of his violence towards me). I don't care what he does with his life but it really burns me that he treats the children so shabby. He's cheap with them, hateful to them, and basically only visits them because it's "his right". (On this last visit he spent a good deal of the time on the phone with his broad he took the kids hiking and wouldn't get water bottles for them they both got really sick) The ex tells me that he treats them badly because it's my fault, I have poisoned them against him. I have tried everything to forge a bond between the kids and him but my kids are smarter than me, they know when to let go of a no win situation. He told my daughter than he treats this woman better than he treated me is because she's Anglo and I'm a "lowly Latina". What should I do?
2006-10-10 04:57:31 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We're going to court for a parent-child modification, should I petition to limit his time with the kids? He lives in another state and has a lot of weekend access to them. He used to tell me that he "allowed" two kids to be born because he was trying to wipe out my "race" one kid at a time. He is such a bad person and now my kids are suffering because of it.
2006-10-10 04:59:29 · update #1
dont let him see his kids and please dont let him speak ill of u towards the children so i take it he feels that the kids are lowly also since they r mixed with his blood take it up with ur lawyer , slander and defamation of character, file 4 full custody and get that child support,good luck keep ur head up , que comer mierda el cabron ese!
2006-10-10 05:02:38 · answer #1 · answered by q45dip 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it go is what you should do. Your ex is an idiot with a problem. An ex treating his new woman better than his kids doesn't necessarily have to be a race issue either. My ex almost lost my daughter at this huge ball park because he was too worried about meeting his girlfriend's needs and HER kids. It just shows the integrity of our ex's. If there is any way to limit the amount of time your children spend with him, do it. In the mean time, you can't let his stupidity bother you. You are NOT a lowly Latina and don't you ever think that. He's a complete tool and you are better off without him. Choose very wisely if you decide to date again. Love yourself to expect more from your next spouse. *hug*
2006-10-10 05:01:07 · answer #2 · answered by WiserAngel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad that he is an ******. He doesn't deserve to have a relationship with YOUR children. If he says racist remarks like that to his children who are 1/2 latino then he should not have visititation rights unless overseen by a social worker. I say "your" children because he is no father. A father teaches and leads their children, not puts them down and makes them feel low. If they have given up and want no part, let them be. Plenty of children have been raised by one single parent and have grown to be successful and happy. I am one. And remember, his "right" will be revoked if he is found unfit. But he will always be responsible for paying child support.
Please check your children for bruising or any marks of violence. Once violent tempermant is in someone, unless they get professional help, it doesn't just go away. You never know, his new woman could be getting hurt the same way he hurt you. Just make sure you communicate with the kids and know he doesn't do this to them.
2006-10-10 05:11:19 · answer #3 · answered by Nina 2 Niña 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the wide world of divorce! First of all most men are assholes. You can only protect your kids so much. When they get old enough to see for themselves they will. You won't have to say a word. Divorce is nasty and you should do what is best for your children, but try to be rational as to not hurt the children in the process. He is doing a fine job of that on his own. Good luck to you and your children. P.S. The "other woman" will find out on her own.
2006-10-10 05:04:23 · answer #4 · answered by Need Help! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never even think of yourself as a "Lowly Latina". If he is too stupid to appreciate the beautiful children he has gotten from you, then the hell with him.That is a situation that he will regret for the rest of his life.
You are obviously a sensitive,intelligent woman, you need to get out and find someone who will appreciate you for yourself.
2006-10-10 05:01:51 · answer #5 · answered by onelonevoice 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Shame on him. Those kids are going to make a decision based on how he treats them. It happens all the time. Those kids don't have a bond with him b/c he treats them like crap. They have bonded with you b/c you show them unconditional love. That bond can't be broken and until your husband shows that he will never have their love and bond with them.
And don't let anyone ever say you are a lowly latina. You are a loving and caring mother. Who cares who is what on the outside its really who you are and who you present yourself to be.
2006-10-10 05:03:57 · answer #6 · answered by Farmgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The man is clearly crap. You don't need to make a bond between the children and him. Since they understand their father is not good, let them have their own judgement. Just make sure he doesn't hit them or abuse them in any way. If you have any such evidence, go to the police.
2006-10-10 05:02:14 · answer #7 · answered by cpinatsi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to ignore the situation...I know from experience this sort of leopard doesn't change his spots...if the children have to go away with him make sure they are fully prepared and have all the gear they need...I think you should count your blessing you got rid of the brute...your children will probably see more than you do when they spend vacations etc with him ..children are very wise and wont be fooled ...like I say ignore him the children will soon be grown and you wont have to meet up with him at all.
2006-10-10 05:02:05 · answer #8 · answered by Lily 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell the kids to let the new gal know that daddy beat their mommy,see what happens next!! You are only as "lowly" as you feel you are,not what the jerk thinks!!
2006-10-10 05:02:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hunny, focus on your educational growth, so you can tell him someday that he can take his check, roll it up and shove it where the Sun does not shine.
Assume he is dead, and thrive. Don't expect him to change, because he knows he can push your buttons. Good luck.
2006-10-10 06:19:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋