My wife said she wans a divorce because she is not in love with me anymore. The one thing i dont understand is that she still wants to be freinds and has stated multiple times that she doesnt want to lose me sexually. She made it perfectly clear to me she is in love with my anatomy and performance and has told me..you are by far the best at that and you can have this whenever you want including if she is with someone else but i dont want you anymore. I cant really understand this. Am i crazy or is she?
2006-10-10 04:48:47 · 32 answers · asked by Joe B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is not wanting to let go of you entirely. She doesn't love you anymore and wants to be single to meet someone else but by giving you this she is holding onto you until she finds someone else and so that you dont move on, she sees it that if she is still having sex with you then you are still hers and she can use sex as a wepon.But trust me when she does find someone else. She'll stop the sex suddenly and you'll be left with nothing.
2006-10-10 04:54:28 · answer #1 · answered by vickicraig86@btinternet.com 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you aren't crazy. She isn't either. Being in love, and enjoying the physical aspect of your relationship are not necessarily the same thing. People do this every day. It is how husbands can cheat on wives, and vice versa.
The emotions, and commitment you have to a person are one thing. The pleasure you get from a physical encounter, and the attraction you feel to another person can be totally seperate all together.
She is telling you that she isn't emotionally connected to you anymore, but that physically she enjoys the way you make her feel and the pleasure you bring. It makes sense because I feel that way about my soon to be ex.
He is FANTASTIC. We couldn't last as a married couple because there were too many issues, and not enough effort on his part. But sexually, he is AMAZING. I think the sex is the only thing that kept me holding on for as long as I did. It is a very real factor for some.
I considered making that same proposition to him......but he is very possessive, and there is no way in hell, or on earth, that he would sit back and know I am going on with my life, and even dating again.....and laying up with him, but still having other suitors in my life.
You have to decide if you feel as she does. If that's the case, then you have a pretty good little set up there. But if you don't, if your feelings are involved.......then you need to make a clean break, and leave it alone for good. It's only cool if you both are on the same page. If not, then it is mean and insensitive because it will put you in a hurtful position of only getting a peice of what you want, and watching her go on with her life and use you as a sex tool.
Put it in perspective and see what YOU think about it.
Seems to me, that you should just let her have her way, and you both go your seperate ways. If she enjoys sex with you, I'm sure you will find someone else who will also enjoy it, and not just want you for your tool....but who will want the total package attached to it. Don't let her have her cake and eat it too, if you still love her. If not.........do it until something better comes along. =)
2006-10-10 05:13:06 · answer #2 · answered by lilac b 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all make sure you are not reading into what she is saying. Sounds wacky to me and if it is true that you are a stud (all men hope to be one) then go out and find a gal that appreciates you.
Many people get married but the reason shy so many end in divorce is that they don't marry their soul mate. There is only one of those out there for you and she is not the one. Men and women have a tendency to marry our of lust, if the person is good in bed then they must be good for me forever. Not true. Your personalities must fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. Passion is good but it is not the only thing.
Find a gal that is your best friend, one who loves you for who you are and not for how you are in bed. Stay away from her when she becomes the X. No sex, you are just going to distroy yourself. Yes, you can be friends, civil with each other, caring about the other person, but no more. If you jump back into the bed you are doomed to be her puppet and will never find the love of your life.
Move on.
2006-10-10 04:58:49 · answer #3 · answered by Nevada Pokerqueen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not crazy she is!!! She wants it all. Marriage is a legal contract. For better or for worse, etc. We all feel like a divorce sometimes, but it passes when we realize this other person is suppose to be our best friend. Can you afford a divorce? Remember 50/50. Good Luck she sounds like a bimbo.
2006-10-10 04:53:19 · answer #4 · answered by bart_boy_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you both are.
I think you should really think about what YOU want, she is trying to munipulate you into thinking that this is good for both of you, she sounds like she wants an open relationship, she wants to have sex with you, remain friends but still be with other people, tell her where the door is, and that friends don't use each other.
And you are definitely crazy if you listen to her ways of thinking.
2006-10-10 04:57:24 · answer #5 · answered by dslm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes nuts......but now you are in control, so go file for divorce. You might want to relisten to that Meatloaf tune, "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad" you have nothing if you don't have all three. Her loss, the next one will be better, its her problem if she can't get a good lay, and why would you want to be friends with her anyway.......when its over its over.
2006-10-10 04:54:46 · answer #6 · answered by WitchTwo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think either of you are crazy... You may enjoy someone as a lover, but it doesn't necessarily follow that you want to be married to them. I don't know if your wife have ever been truly in love with you or not - but it certainly sounds like she isn't now. At least she's honest with you; how you want to handle it is up to you.
2006-10-10 04:55:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand where she's coming from. I am like that with my ex hubby. I love sleeping with him but to be in a relationship it is just not worth it anymore. In way she is just using you for sex. I wouldn't personally take it if I were you. If you are still in love with her than it is going to be harder for you to understand and deal with this. By the way we are all crazy men and women
2006-10-10 04:52:56 · answer #8 · answered by Lady C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is absurd.... she definitely needs help... if she did not want you she would not even want you sexually.. but I am guessing that she is involved with someone else, even if it is on an emotional level because even though you say your sex life is great she is missing something.... the emotional attachment...
2006-10-10 04:56:13 · answer #9 · answered by oracle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't want you but she wants you to stay emotionally attached to her. She is only using you. She is keeping you wrapped around her finger so you can't move on and be happy....but she will and forget all about you.
You will not be able to be involved with any one else with her in control.
2006-10-10 06:09:42 · answer #10 · answered by Mom first 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋