My husband recently told me that he doesnt want to be married anymore he feels like he hasnt lived his life?

Question

My husband doesnt want to be with me anymore, he thinks that he hasnt really lived his life, and that he doesnt want to be tied down anymore. We were young, got married when he was nineteen and I was eighteen. We have been married for six years. I love him and we have two kids. I always will love him and I wish that he would just change his mind and see what he has in front of him. A wife and family who love him. Unfortunately he never told me this I had to figure it out on my own and he just confirmed my suspicions today. I feel like he needs to grow up, What do I do now? Where do I go from here. Im heartbroken. How do I deal with this. I still love him and I wanted to make this work but it just doesnt work that way... Isnt there a way we can work this out? or am I doomed for divorce court?

this is so hard to let sink in. I thought we were forever :(

Answer 1

First of all you have to be strong and mature. When you got married, you got married with the man you thought had your same convictions and this is the reason why you married him. Both of you got married, probably too young and in the majority of the cases this happen. My recommendation to you, be strong and if he want to leave you let him go, but first make him sign every thing that he have to your name, because you have to think about you and the kids. Don't be weak when you make this decisions, think that he is the one that is abandoning the boat and not you. He is not caring about you or the kids, he's being self fish and incomprehensible with your situation, so you have to take this in consideration, you and the kids come first no matter what. Make believe that he is a cancer and you have to cut it off, you don't need it. You are young and you will see that a real man will come to you and will appreciate what you really worth, be patience and every thing will fall in place. I have read that man that make decisions like this most likely are gays. So you haven't lost much. Good Luck. If you need from me please E-mail me and I be here for you.

Answer 2

How old is your husband because it sounds like to me he is just looking for an excuse to go do what ever he wants? I can relate to what you are going through, I am going through the same thing. Last night my soon to be ex made me realize that life does & will go on, picking up the pieces isnt the easiest.I dont have any answers for you, but believe in yourself and think of yourself only.Thats what he is doing now, just don't lose yourself along with losing the fight to keeping your marriage alive. That's if he really decides to really go throught with this. It's was just yesterday as you say, just because there is a storm doesn't mean the the captain should abandon ship. Nobody suddenly decides they want a divorce. They just suddenly decide to share the information, suggest going to see a marriage counsler. You both need to talk to a counsler. Together and seperate. Talk, try very hard not to argue. Communication is definetely the key. Right now he has lost his way, If you really care about this guy & want your family to stay together. Yeah fight for it, but don't stay with someone who doesn't appreciate you or doesnt want to be with you. In the end your hurting yourself and your kids. You're heartbroken now give that pain to God, God has a plan for you.

Answer 3

When the one you love doesn't want you anymore it is such a desperate lonely horrible feeling. You ask yourself all kinds of questions from why is he this way to what did I do to deserve this.

You, of course, did nothing. He may have been feeling this way for some time but afraid to tell you.

There is little doubt that there is another women in the picture here. If you had not thought of this I am sorry to inform you but there is about a 98% chance there is.
Another woman has awakened that part in him that we all have when we first meat someone we really like. Your marriage at that age...while far from inevitable......only made this more likely.

I went 37 years in a marriage.....knowing that my wife was not at all happy in it....only to find she was having an affair. Not her first but the last for me. I have never known that kind of emotional pain and I hope never to again. That happened when I was 62. I am married again and she lives alone.

As hard as it is for you there is no doubt you must let go. You have an additional complication I did not. Children. Mine were grown and gone so I did not have to deal with that.

Love will find you again when you are ready. But this time you will go into it with your eyes open.

I feel so sorry for you......I know your pain.....but when he says he no longer loves you, believe him.

There will be a time when he will look back at this and wonder where his head was but that will be too late. Move on.

Answer 4

You are still very young yourself, and have a lot of life to live. If he feels the need to "live his life", don't hold him back. Trying to make him stay in a relationship that isn't fulfilling for him will make you miserable as well. You will always be trying to overcompensate to make sure he is happy. I know this is very painful, and that's what life is. Let him go and focus on making yourself and your kids happy. The pain will fade as you grow. It will be hard and not fun for a while, but be strong for your children, and once again, know that you are young, and have so much to learn about yourself still...I am so sorry...there is really nothing but time that will help. Good luck.

Answer 5

Hey, that is hard news girl, Just think about it like this, life is about love and relationships, children, family, etc.... that is just human, you married him and know he is human so give him some time and space and he will think and say u know i need my family what the %@#$ am I doing. Good luck and one thing I learned, don't nag at it, really show him u are ok with this and be strong for the kids, show your kids you can be there for them and u are strong. That is attractive, not some younger version or anything else he may be after, a mom with her will and strength is attractive and it will make u feel better about yourself

Answer 6

He's only 25 - he still has a lot of living to do. Let him know that he can do it with you. TALK TO HIM - ask what it is that he feels he's missing. And if you can, help him - explore new things, do new things together.

I know that if he gives up, and you give up on him - it will effect your whole life. Try counseling and work on your communication. You have kids that need both of their parents. He made a commitment to you when you got married, he fathered 2 kids. He need to be held accountable for that. Marriage and Fatherhood is not about being selfish, it's about family. It is important that he find out who he is, and live his life. Yet that's something he can do with you and your kids beside him.

TALK TALK TALK - Good Luck!

Answer 7

sounds like you are way over whelmed and need to stop and slow down !

First post today was hubby need to not pay child support and you wanted to know how you can get the courts to not enforce that issue, that sounded liek a level headedfemale who needed some legal advice.

This one sounds like you are pleaed to make thisissue go away and you wake up and the nightmare is just that a nightmare !

First deal with the facts as you know them , then start planing your life with your children without your soon to be ex in your lfiedaily ,, this does not mean he will not be in your life or the childrens life . he is DAD to them and you both have that responciblity !

Next - think fo a way you can manage your life and get this under control for your children ... then find some people that are close to you for support on dealing with this issue persoonally .Stand strong for your family but also seek support for family and friends that are close to you .You will need this to keep you o na even keel.

Parents must stand firm in front of their children so you set a good example for them to learn how to deal with issues.But you also need to release some anger and tension out with others who have been down the road you may travel soon.

Thats is the hard part , so call some police dpartments - they could give you soem numbers - ask with domestic Violence department of the police and ask them for some councilor numbers to help you deal with the pain and anguish you are dealing with now.

Some even have some free services you can speak with and get help that way .

Answer 8

I feel your pain, my friend, I truly do. If it was me in your shoes, I would remind him about the grown-up values and grown-up vows he made even if you were young when you made them, you and he both appreciated the values and obligations that came with your marriage vows. I would tell my husband he might have fun for a few days if he left me (maybe! he might not be as attractive to other women and he hopes) but in the end, he would miss my love, my devotion and the same from his children. I would remind my husband of how good he has it where he is and that the grass ain't always greener. If he wants to gamble with the cold, cruel world (and it is) let him. I would not take my husband back just 'cause he now wants to be a s l u t.

Answer 9

I think at this point no matter what you do he has made his mind up. It takes a lot of courage to actually come to you and tel you how he feels. If he was not already sure he would not have came to you. I think for now you should just think about you and the children. Just realize that it was not you!!! He changed. I got married at 18 my first time. I was 16 when we met. We divorced after 8 years. It was not anything that either of us did wrong. AS we get older and mature our likes and dislikes change. G'LUCK :o)

Answer 10

He is wrong, of course -- he is living his life, because having a wife and children is living. Usually, though, when someone says this, what they mean is that they feel like they haven't had enough fun. It sounds to me like you will need marriage counseling, but in the meantime, you should try to spend more time having fun with your husband, just the two of you, away from the kids. If he sees that he can have fun within marriage, he may change his attitude.