I dont want to get a devorce but I dont know what to do. I love her and I think she loves me but I cant seem to get along with her for very long.
2006-10-10 04:33:54 · 16 answers · asked by bungalo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As you see, love doesn't solve all problems. It sounds like your biggest problem might be communication.
Sit down and share your hearts with one another about those things that are most important to you. Remember, males and females see things so differently, that you really have to listen to one another to see where the other is coming from. Don't EVER PUT DOWN OR CRITICIZE each other.
Just try to understand each other and appreciate your differences rather than letting them destroy your marriage.
Gary Smalley is an author that has written some very helpful info to help you with communication in your marriage. Go to the library and see what you can find.
2006-10-11 13:36:21 · answer #1 · answered by delmaanna67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her if she truly loves you as much as you do her, if the answer is yes, you guys should have a long talk. Try to get out in the open whatever that's distencing the two of you from eachother. Discover the sorce of the problem, then start using systematic mothods that are related solutions to that issue, and eliminate that issue one way or the other. The most important thing I think in a marriage other than unconditional, unwavering love is the ability to get everything out in the open between the both of you. Never stop communicating with eachother. Even non-communicating about the smallest issue can have dire consecquences on a marriage. A really small issue that you may choose to keep from your wife, can hang onto your conscience for as long as you contiue to hide it, and over a period of time it often turns into negetive energy, often resulting in negitive energy output toward your wife, and in her the same result will develope. So, you guys need to force yourselves through the barrior of non-communication. But if she says she doesn't love you as she once did, and she will not make an effort to sit down and get out in the open whatever it is that is bothering her,... then it is in fact over, you must move on. Otherwise this deadend marriage will isolate you both forcing you guys to wake up in a blackend room without sight, sense, smell, or touch. In other words, MISERY, and Agony by the very definition of the words, which neither one of you has never felt before. I'm no shrink, or a doctor of any kind, I'm just making a sugestion based on my own personal experience.In every marriage there is either a paradise, or the is Hell. The choice is yours.
-Gabriel
2006-10-10 05:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by gabe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been together,married ? Do you have children together? DO YOU LOVE HER ? DOES SHE LOVE YOU ? Do you remember WHY you were attracted to her in the first place ? What brought you two together ? I was together with my soon to be ex for 23 yrs. Currently going thru divorce,3 teenage sons. This ,honestly has been the hardest thing in my life and I have had great losses, believe me ! This has changed me , my sons and my ex. If you love each other, then give both of you the chance. Think long and hard about what you really want. Life is NOT always greener on the other side ! Quality time, talking ,sharing each others hopes and dreams, memories made,these are so,so,so,irreplaceable. I can't stress enough, what you have ,now, may very well BE your true happiness. Don't take it lightly.
Did you two always just not get along? I don't know the answers to all of this and there is allot to consider. Just be careful and my advise to you is to be careful and don't do anything rash. Also if you are considering divorce, please just talk to each other, put all the cards on the table, what have you got to lose?
2006-10-10 07:20:26 · answer #3 · answered by crazartgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you still love each other there is hope for your marriage. If you truly want it to work out you will do whatever is necessary to hold it together. Try counseling...it really does help and if it doesn't work out between you at least you know you've done everything you can. The counseling will be good for both of you and help you get to the real problem.
2006-10-10 04:38:23 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what made you originally attracted to her? what drew you to her? There's a biblical saying what God created let no man separate. Have you tried counseling, fighting in a relationship is normal, it's a part of life, don't give up, too many of our marriages end in divorce, the only time I would say it's over is if she has been sleeping around, and you can't get over that, besides that there's nothing you can't work out.
God Bless
2006-10-10 04:39:37 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's a good time to sit down and have a chat about your issues with each other and start compromising. Also, sounds like a good time for a marriage counselor.
2006-10-10 04:35:33 · answer #6 · answered by Molly1015 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think people know when it is really over. It is one of those things that your heart knows the answer to, but your mind won't let you believe it. I think sometimes people stay with someone not out of true love, but habit. We all know that bad habits are hard to break.
2006-10-10 04:37:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First talk, this may be difficult, don't get upset. A lot of couples stay tegether because they spend a lot of time appart.
2006-10-10 04:36:32 · answer #8 · answered by rocketman9070 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and get counseling. Work on your communication skills.
Don't give up to easily.
2006-10-10 04:36:15 · answer #9 · answered by jt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling might help. Good luck.
2006-10-10 04:35:44 · answer #10 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋