We are talking about divorce and we know that it is court ordered but someone told us there is a way to sign a waver so that he doesnt have to pay. My husband isnt a dead beat dad and has agreed to help pay for the kids but if we get a divorce and he is ordered to pay child support it will take over half of his income ( we sat down and figured this out) and he wont be able to live off of his own income, I was wondering if theres anyway to get him out of paying for this.. and yes I know its court ordered.
2006-10-10 04:33:32 · 24 answers · asked by beautifullybroken 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good for you guys!! My ex husband and I have that arrangement and we have 2 children. We have the kids equally and no one pays. We both take care of the kids when we have them. Where ever the kids are when they need something, that is the parent that pays.
2006-10-10 04:43:29 · answer #1 · answered by Great Nurse 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your hubby he's a lucky guy that you guys are able to work this out amongst yourselves. Consult with you divorce attorneys and have the child support agreement built into your divorce settlement. You may still need to have it court sanctioned or approved but this would be your best option.
And whatever it is that is creating the circumstances that you are considering divorce, you may want to think twice. There are few couples, that are able to have enough caring and compassion for each other in these circumstances that they would be willing to work things out amicably.
I would imagine that your response to the above statement would be that you guy's are doing it this way in order to make the transition as easy as possible on the children, and while that may well be true, If you look deeper and are honest with yourselves it is also because you care about each other.
Bottom line if you two can work this out so well with each other. Whatever it is that is creating the desire for the divorce can surely be worked out. Besides when you made your vows it was till death do we part. You guys have something good. Don't give it up so quickly.
2006-10-10 05:01:06 · answer #2 · answered by SUPERSTAR X 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can agree on an arrangement so that he isn't so financially impacted, why can't you agree to stay together?
You have the same question as a lot of people. the easiest way is to return some of the money that the court orders to him. that way the courts feel that they've done their job and the two of you are happy.
If the payments aren't automatically deducted from his check, he can pay you less.
the problem is that later on down the road, if you get into a disagreement, you will fight over the money that was ordered and not actually paid!!
2006-10-10 04:40:11 · answer #3 · answered by exel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are using a lawyer for the divorce, come up with an agreement to present in court that stipulates an amount. Even though you don't want the amount paid that would be mandated by a judge, it is still wise to have some formal agreement in place. You never know what may happen in the long run.
2006-10-10 04:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by Prissy2t4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both have an obligation to the kids first.....I would not sign a waver, a few years down the road he may decide that he doesnt want to support the kids and youll be out on a limb....first talk with an attorney and have them calculate support, your numbers might be too high....You can always go with the court orderd spport and give some of it back to him if you really feel its too high
2006-10-10 04:38:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this may be a stupid way of doing it...but in my first marriage my husband was in a similar situation -- he got along really well with his ex, but he had no money left over after it was all said and done, so each month he'd send money into the court (as it was ordered) -- she'd get the check, cash it and give the agreed amount back to him... kind of a pain in the butt, but it worked and everyone was happy and had a good-as-it-could-be-in-that-situation relationship...
2006-10-10 04:45:12 · answer #6 · answered by Ducky S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's called a stipulation. If you are able to negotiate an amicable divorce, you can just use one attorney. Just let him/her know that you agree to a stipulation to waive your rights to Court ordered child support. If I were you though, I'd make sure their was some type of Court ordered support. If you waive your rights, you're gonna get hosed. Set a dollar amount that you can agree to. In the big picture, if he can't pay the Court ordered minimun, that's his problem, not yours. This is about your kids, not about him getting out of his responsibility.
2006-10-10 04:39:36 · answer #7 · answered by babalu2 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Child support is a tricky subject, and judging by some of the answers given here, I imagine some people have been significantly shorted through their own divorce? I've always maintained payment of my child support, and I've never questioned it, despite knowing that my ex has gone without a job for months on end, and my money intended to pay for my daughters needs, have taken care of cell phone bills, cable tv, etc...It can be very frustrating for a man. I applaud you for considering your soon to be exs budget. On one hand, you shouldn't shortchange yourself. But at the same time, you shouldn't have to take him to the cleaners either. If you go through mediation rather than using two opposing attorneys, you can draft your dissolution together, determining what's fair - and not necessarily what is the legal rights of either of you. It sounds like the two of you are able to work out conflict well! It can save a lot of money otherwise spent on attorney fees, and the two of you together decide what's best in your situation regarding child support, parenting time, holiday schedule, etc....
Good luck to you both!
2006-10-10 04:45:17 · answer #8 · answered by loving father 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Remember, child support guidelines are just that, not obligatory. But, if you are on or go on welfare, you will not have any choice in the matter. I had a case where a woman wanted a child, but not a man messing up her life, so she got pregnant, but never told the man, or filed for child support. Unfortunately, she got sick, lost her job, and had to go on welfare. They went after the man for ten years of retroactive child support. The benefit to them? They was able to claim an additional 5% fees from him, plus 15% from the federal government for all obligations owed, over $15,000 on this one case.
2006-10-10 06:03:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I worked out a deal like that with my ex-husband. Guess what? I haven't received child support in 7 years. Don't screw yourself. Go through the court system. You guys can probably set an amount that is agreeable to all parties, but don't waive your rights to child support completely. I know, he'd never do that, right? I thought the same thing. Be smart, set an amount and get it in writing.
2006-10-10 04:47:03 · answer #10 · answered by Lotus 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋