My husband and I have been maried for 5 years and we have a 2 year old son. We recently split and my mother took me into her home. Our son lives with me and his father comes and visit and takes him to spend the night every so often. My son is extremly attached to his father and cries for him all the time. I feel very guilty that I dont spend as much time with my son as I should. I have a full time job to support for him and I also attend college. I believe that my son needs me more then anything at this time and I think that the best thing for me to do is to quit school and spend time with him to show him that I am there for him. For the past 9 months that we have split I've also been thinking of getting back with my husband just because my son needs the both of us together; dispite that I have no love for him any more. What should I do?
2006-10-10 04:00:47 · 16 answers · asked by b_chika 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me add a couple more things about my husband.....He made lots of mistakes while we were together which is normal because we all make mistakes, but he never put any effort into changing while our 5 year marriage. He still loves me and wants me back with a passion. It'll be almost a year that we have been apart from each other and I have gotten use to being alone. I at times feel better off like that then making our lifes misserable......He was one of the reasons I started school right after we separed, because he was against me attending college while with him. He said family is and should always be my priority. No doubt about that, I agree, but that doesnt mean that I would slack off. All I ever wanted was to have a tittle under my name and to be happy with my family. With SO MANY differences my love for him started fading. I dont love him as a husband, but only as a father to my son and as a friend. I care a lot for him.
2006-10-10 04:33:56 · update #1
if theres no love marriage is no good...i would consider quitting school cuz you can finish later on...youre already so busy working full time and hes so young.
2006-10-10 04:04:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband want to get back together? If so, that is the first option that needs to be seriously considered.
As for college, it will always be there. I think you are right to quit school for now and be with your son more.
Kids start school full time at 5 or 6. That's a short period of time in the grand scheme of things to devote as much time as you possibly can to them. In your case, it's three more years. But those years can make a difference to your kid's whole entire life time.
How much time does your husband have to spend with your son? Maybe you could consider other custody options.
2006-10-10 11:07:35 · answer #2 · answered by amdstreit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, you should quit school for now so that you will be able to spend more time with your son. Your son should always come first. If the only reason why you were really considering going back with your husband was so that you would still be able to finish school, you are only being selfish and totally unworthy . You are not going to be in your sons life much and that will end up causing your son to not be close to you. You should wait and finish school when your son is starting school all day.
Good Luck.
2006-10-10 11:21:40 · answer #3 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to your husband and take care of that precious little son of yours. He's your "gold mine".
You shouldn't even consider college until he is at least in Kg. You are young and have plenty of time for college later.
Rekindle the love in your marriage. Your marriage is a great treasure that you are throwing away. Spend time with your husband and do the things you did when you were courting.
The things you are holding up at this time at the expense of your home with your husband and little boy are the very things that will bring you great grief, if you continue on your present course!!!!!!!
2006-10-11 20:43:27 · answer #4 · answered by delmaanna67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long is your mom willing to let you live with her?
When I left my husband I went to moms house. It was my only option at the time. I've worked part time and went to school. I have quit school now and I really wish I wouldn't have. I need to work full time to get out of this house. My mom is turning my son into a monster. You need to watch out for that. Grandma's like to spoil! If you have no problems staying with your mom for a while longer. See if you could work part time and school part time. Waiting untill he is in school would help a lot too. That's what I did. I took a class here and there but I didn't really concentrate on school untill he was in Kindergarten. I took a few online classes before that too. It's crazy doing school work at 2am but sometimes that's the only time it could get done.
Good luck in what ever you decide. Just don't go back to that man. You don't need him.
2006-10-10 11:35:00 · answer #5 · answered by danadeville 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don¸t quit school, the best thing you can do for your son is to be well educated and happy and use every free time you have to spend with him...you are of no use to him if you are unhappy and home all day . Don¸t come back to your husband just because you want your son to have both parents...
2006-10-10 11:10:00 · answer #6 · answered by momithesnake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get back with your ex of you have no feelings for him. My ex and I get along great, but we decided it would be better for our kids to grow up with divorced parents and a chance to see a healthy relationship than for us to stay together and be miserable. Also, how much more college do you have to go? If you are close to your degree, just stick it out. If not, see if you could drop back to part time or schedule your classes so you have 2 or 3 LONG days, but the rest of the week you have more time with your son.
2006-10-10 11:06:44 · answer #7 · answered by JENNIFER G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If possible and your young enough take the next two years off and stay with him until he enters kindergarten, this should give him a sturdy ground (your son) to work from. Re-enter college and don't go back to a love-less relationship. Don't miss out on your son's early years they are extremely precious.
2006-10-10 11:07:27 · answer #8 · answered by Gabriele 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your college studies. Your future will be better because of it. Your mother is there for your son while you are at college. Don't get back with your husband. You might meet someone much better in the future.
2006-10-10 11:48:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right family comes first. How that is demonstrated is by taking care of yourself. School is one method of increasing your income to provide for your child. It is critical that parents demonstrate their value of education. It will be difficult to demand school excellence if you have quit. Your son will be alright in the long run. He will appreciate your efforts later more than now.
Dealing with your EX is another issue. Have him date you and find if he can rekindle your feelings. If not stay as is. Kids are flexible and will adjust.
Stay in school. You will regret dropping out.
2006-10-10 11:42:27 · answer #10 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go back into a loveless marriage. Maybe you could take just one class per semester in college. College is your hope for the future, don't give it up completely. Have you tried contacting Big Brothers/ Big Sisters to get another adult into your sons life?
2006-10-10 11:15:02 · answer #11 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋