I have told him on more than once that I just don't see our relationship going any further and that I am very unhappy. He insist that it is going just fine and that "we" are happy, he's the only person that's happy. How can I break it off and keep it that way without possibly hurting my little boy or our friendship?
2006-10-10 03:53:33 · 14 answers · asked by Firefox513 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Unfortunately the friendship is going to be strained by your decision. Things may get better with time, however with him being into you and you not being into him the friendship is going to suffer. As far as your little boy if you are unhappy he can probably sense that so the best thing to do is to get to a point where you are happy. Make sure that he is still allowed a lot of time with both and when you get to that comfortable place you all can go to "family" outings. Be honest, let him know that your heart isn't in it anymore and even though you love him as a friend you aren't IN LOVE with him. I mean he has to respect you and your honesty. Very tricky situation, I hope it all works out for you.
Best Wishes!!!
BTW to the Sheeny person's comment, my question is with that statement what does that make you?
2006-10-10 03:57:15 · answer #1 · answered by poetic princess 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you can never totally break things off with your son's father; once you have a child together that is a lifetime relationship. If you are unhappy, you need to get some counseling, if he will not participate; you can get the help for yourself. Any changes that you make to the relationship now is going to hurt all of you, including your little boy. There is really no way around it, at this point. I do not know if you can salvage a friendship out of this situation, a counselor would be able to help you out in this area also. If you are not in love with this person, it is best to change the relationship. Sometimes two people can have a very different outlook on happiness. Best of luck to you all.
2006-10-10 04:03:14 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be very specific and clear. You don't mention what the problems are, but here's an example:
"John, I've tried to tell you before that I'm unhappy with our relationship, but I don't seem to be getting through to you. It's important that you listen to what I'm saying: I care for you very much, but I don't see our relationship going any further because I feel that we don't communicate well; I feel that you hear what you want to, and disregard my feelings; we have different priorities...and for those reasons I'm ending my relationship with you. I've been unhappy for a long time. You keep insisting that things are fine, and that "we" are happy, but two people are needed to make a relationship work. I'm half of this relationship, and I won't continue with it. I know this is difficult for you, but I don't know how much clearer I can make it."
Don't apologize. He's insisting things are fine because he knows they aren't and wants to delay the inevitable. I'm assuming he's not living with you, so I would not return his phone calls or see him if he should stop by unannounced. Also, you may consider a softer approach if he is your son's father. It's not clear whether or not he is.
2006-10-10 04:10:40 · answer #3 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no way to do it without hurting your little boy. There's no way to do it without hurting the relationship with his dad. To you it may only be 'friendship', but to him it's more than that. I guess this is why most people don't have babies with their friends.
It's interesting how you stated you don't see your relationship going any further. You don't get much 'further' than having a baby with someone....that's pretty much the ultimate.
Anyway, how ever you choose to break it off, try to do it honestly and as warmly as possible. As for not hurting your child or the relationship with his father, that is not possible.
2006-10-10 03:58:26 · answer #4 · answered by amdstreit 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Speak to his father and find out whats 'happy' to him and let him know which things upset you. It is not easy to break off as your son will be unhappy. For your son's sake, it would be wise to talk to him, discuss and find a solution to your problems with him. Try it, give it a go !!! Good luck.
2006-10-10 04:00:02 · answer #5 · answered by Baby 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You probably cant break it off without hurting your little boy. At the same time you deserve to be happy. I suggest that you seek some counseling, if your baby's daddy will go with you great, if not then go alone.
2006-10-10 03:56:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
it wont ever happen if you leave your bd
it will hurt your son more then anything in this world
you should try to work out any problems u 2 have
just for a baby who did not ask to b put on this earth
also your boy needs his mommy and daddy
dont fkuc up ur boy life just because YOU r not happy
dont b selfish
rais ur boy w/ his dad and make the best of it for your lovely boy
2006-10-10 04:00:26 · answer #7 · answered by ez-goin 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
kids are always in the middle,,,when the time comes that your little boy understands? ,,you can try to explain to him the situation...just one thing...don't ever talk bad about his daddy to him ,,,keep it clean ...it just takes time..as for you baby's father,,,tell him straight out that you have moved on a long time ago and ignore him...
2006-10-10 05:45:15 · answer #8 · answered by guess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here, try this:
"It's over because I say it's over. I'm not happy and youre not making me happy. Here's the key to the storage unit, all your sh!t's in there and by the way, here's the court order for child support, loser!"
2006-10-10 04:01:49 · answer #9 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Set your boundaries. Tell him that you like him as a friend but you will be dating other people.
2006-10-10 03:56:00 · answer #10 · answered by Clown Knows 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋