We love each other.
I at stage of my life where i want babies. Is this relationship doomed?
2006-10-10 03:29:45 · 32 answers · asked by PICKLE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's a case by case analysis, I know plenty of 21 year Olds who are more mature wanting to settle down with a family...Wait I said plenty...I mean a few....Anyway, some of those guys really have their stuff together. On the other hand , I know some thirty-somethings who need those kinds of respondsibilities like a "hole in the Head". they are way to selfish. If you love this person and they love you and the relationship is healthy. Go forward...Lennon
Below is a link on the Pros and Cons
2006-10-10 03:37:49 · answer #1 · answered by LENNON3804 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever think of the REAL implications?
Like #1, is he mature enough to be a good father?
Are you both ready to settle down and stop going out on the weekends? People with kids don't get out much!! At 21, if he is still a partier or bar fly (which at 21 he may JUST be finding out!!), he shouldn't be a father!!
At 21, is he financially secure enough to help support you both not only while you are on maternity leave, but for the next 18 years? It costs an AVERAGE of $218,000 to raise a child from birth to 18 years old. Can yall easily afford that?
Why don't you take this in BABY steps (no pun intended). Why are you worried about kids when you are not even married yet? Do you live together? If the relationship is great, then why don't you work first on living together, then getting ready for marriage. If he has not asked you to get MARRIED yet, I doubt he is ready to have KIDS yet (the second is a whole higher level of committment that is even higher than marriage!!)
Show some patience and take it slow!! Women can have children well into their 40s these days, so what's your hurry?? Worry about the kids after you have been married a year or so, for now jsut worry about the actual relationship and heading towards the point where you both feel you want to spend your lives together!!
2006-10-10 03:43:57 · answer #2 · answered by TopherM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the right age to have Children, A bloke i know got his 19 year old girlfriend pregnant when he was 17 , a couple of years later he was diagnosed with MS. So would any girl have babies with a bloke headed for a wheelchair and early death, probably not. If you are planning a perfect life find a lover aged 31 otherwise stop agonising, if you love each other go for it but if he wont marry you he aint going to take on parental responsibilities so Get Married First. lay out the future pleasures and responsibilities, dont just stop taking the pill.
2006-10-10 03:46:03 · answer #3 · answered by "Call me Dave" 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that depends on your man. What does he want in life right now? Is he working, going to school and ready to settle down? I would want to think that if he was ready for such things he would ask you to marry him first.
I know people have babies all the time not being married; however, if you want a child and love him you need to find out just how serious he is and what he wants before bringing in a child. Just for safety, so the child in the long run doesn't have to go through a tough time with two parents who end up not being together.
2006-10-10 03:45:50 · answer #4 · answered by Dawn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally, no. Morally, that's subjective. No, i do not see an incredibly situation with it, notwithstanding it continuously does make me ask your self. case in point, what form of a guy might want to have an interest in someone virtually 8 years youthful than himself at that age? Does he no longer have some thing to grant people of his personal age team? It earrings alarm bells, that's all. probable that's no longer some thing of the form, yet regularly ... that's. regularly there's a caution signal in there declaring that the more youthful female is basically searching for a male position form or a father confirm, and the older male is too immature to address women people his personal age, or too controlling and would't manage a courting with out having a aspect of administration through seniority.
2016-10-16 04:17:58 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you ask him instead of the whole world?
At 21, he's probably wanting to see a few more sights before settling down - if not, then either he's very boring or you've landed a good one.
Talk to him about how you feel and if he doesn't run a mile, I guess he wants to stay with you and make babies
2006-10-10 03:53:03 · answer #6 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know someone whose 13 years younger than his wife, they met when he was 19, married at 21. Still very happy twenty years later, 4 children later, too.
My son was 20 - he was soooo immature - his wife's life was hell. They've settled down and are still together 7 years later, with a little boy. It depends on the kind of person who are, not your age. All marriages are a bit of luck, and a lot of compromising and 100% determination to make it work. From both of you. Good luck.
2006-10-10 03:48:54 · answer #7 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still pretty young for kids whilst your fella is still very young indeed. Why not try your best to wait a few years and see what happens? Better that than to have kids now and then after 3 years face life as a single mum. Sorry to sound so negative, but pls try to be honest and realistic as you can about this.; )
2006-10-10 03:42:47 · answer #8 · answered by J B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the both of you. Is he ready to settle down? Are you sure he's the one? I mean he is of legal age and if he loves and respects you, then age should not matter. Some guys grow up faster then others and are ready for the commitment. So, you should sit down and talk it out and make sure he is the one you are willing to have a bond with for the rest of you life.
2006-10-10 03:38:03 · answer #9 · answered by jmcafamily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's too young! Even if you live together or get married, wait at least five years before you have a baby. It's the right thing to do for the child.
Never, never have a second child to try to hold things together.
2006-10-10 03:32:28 · answer #10 · answered by frieburger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋