I've been in a relationship for 9 months, but in the last mounths we've been fighting a lot, even on little things. Now we've brought in discution the thought of separation. Even if we make up, I know it whon't be the same, the negative parts will still remain. What should I do to bring things to theire iitial state, like they where in the begining of the relation?
2006-10-10 02:51:16 · 12 answers · asked by crysstina_88 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ain't possible. Find another guy if you liked the getting to know him bit.
If you really want this chap then you will have to change. No one can change another person. You just have to deal with things a bit differently yourself.
Chill out and be happy. Think of what you do have and not what you used to have and whosae fault it is that you no longer have it.
2006-10-10 02:55:45 · answer #1 · answered by SunGod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. I don't think you're really supposed to. True, when you first meet you get the butterfly feeling in your stomach around this person.. yeah, you get excited just thinking about them. But, there is more that you don't have at the beginning of relationship than things you do have once it's been going on a while- like comfortability. You don't have to worry so much about how the other person views you for being yourself. This person has accepted you for who you are. You can let your hair down.
If after 9 months things are going that bad, you may need to take a step back and reevaluate the situation. Sometimes, the relationship is just not meant to be and it shouldn't be forced. Maybe there is some unresolved resentment that's not being addressed. Once an disagreement has been aired, that's supposed to be the end of it. Couples argue all the time. Sometimes there is no resolution and they agree to disagree. But that isn't an indication that the relationship is over. That's an example of two strong minded people, but ones who respect each other and the others opinion.
Also, your attitude seems to be negative. How do you know that if you make up, negative sentiments will remain? You're setting yourself to feel negative about the relationship, even when you're supposed to be starting over by making up. How are you starting over if you have the same negative attitude? If I was in your position and felt that things weren't the same in my relationship, I'd take a step back (meaning separate) to reevaluate my attitude about my boyfriend and our relationship- determine the source of the resentment. Of course, this would only be if my boyfriend and I weren't living together. If we lived together, I would suggest to him that we seek counseling.
2006-10-10 03:16:00 · answer #2 · answered by Honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest taking some time apart. Hopefully then both of you will "cool down" and begin to show more respect and appreciation for each other.
Negativity is all around us, in our family, in our relationships, even in ourselves. But it is only when we accentuate the positive that the negative images begin to fade.
No one is perfect and no relationship is perfect. Just strive for perfection. Try to make things work. If both parties try, positive results are bound to manifest! good luck
2006-10-10 03:09:35 · answer #3 · answered by irRHOsistible 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can never make a realtionship go back to the way it was in the beginning. Relationships are ever changing and if after nine months you're talking about seperation and you're arguing a lot, its time to let things go.
2006-10-10 02:56:19 · answer #4 · answered by Yokihana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you still care for him, if you're talking separation that soon in a relationship, it's probably not meant to be. Breaking up is hard to do, but necessary if you're not with the right one. Don't be afraid to be alone, you'll be fine. Listen to your heart AND your brain.
2006-10-10 02:56:17 · answer #5 · answered by JP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once u start knowing a person better, his/her weaknesses also come to light. In fact, such weaknesses get high lighted after the initial period of showmanship wears out. There appears to be no "undo" button for it.
2006-10-10 02:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Travel and I mean over sea where you two has a share experience together.
china sound good, It's right next to North Korea where it's all happening.
2006-10-10 03:00:14 · answer #7 · answered by Kenshin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if I knew the answer to that question, I'd be a millionaire..... and the happiest woman on earth.
2006-10-12 00:18:42 · answer #8 · answered by Funny Bunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your self do you love this guy or are you just use to being with him? once it's broke is realy hard to fix,,,, that's how people start cheating when they fight with there boyfriends or girlfriends...
2006-10-10 02:58:55 · answer #9 · answered by Airforcepink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break up and start a new one
2006-10-10 02:53:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋