Please help!!!! this is serious!!!!?

Question

People, I'm in the middle of a big depresion and i wanted to know if anybody can help me go through this....
My husband died 5 months ago in a car crash. 2 months after that, i lost my baby (i was 5 months pregnant). And when i thought things couldn't get any worse, my best friend killed himself!!
I've been seeing a therapist, she told me it would be good to talk to people about this...
And please don't tell me to trust God and pray! If God liked me, he wouldn't have put me trough this!
Has anybody have gone trough something like this (I hope not!!!!)?? And can anybody help me??
Thank you!

Answer 1

See your doctor, and go to counseling (Psychiatrist). Medication and therapy (Group) will help immensely. Good luck.

Answer 2

Lyla, I read a fictional novel some time ago which described the sorrow,sadness, & pain of losing loved ones. There was a character talking about how grief loses it's grip on the survivor after a time. She described it as something like this: "It's like you are walking down a long road carrying a big suitcase. After you walk so far down the road you tell yourself it's ok to put the suitcase down & keep walking. And one day you do it." Not the exact words but a very close idea. I haven't had the personal enormous tragedies you have met & are continuing to deal with but when family loss occured this idea of carrying the grief has always stuck with me. I have found that after a time the pain, the ouch you feel from grief has diminished & then after a little more time the ouch is gone. I'll be honest about the missing of the lost one. That never goes away but it doesn't hurt to remember them once the suitcase has been put down.
I am SO sorry you have had to endure through so much grief. You are a survivor for a reason. The people you lost would not want you to live unhappily. In a way, you would be honoring them by living a good,happy life. They showed you ways to love & live & by continuing to love & live as they taught you would be honoring the time you shared with them.
You are a smart woman seeking help & allowing yourself to receive it. The people you lost are behind you already helping you through such incredibly difficult times. You are honoring them now by reaching out to others who have lost offering to make a connection with them.
I wish you peace, happy memories, & hope for a happy future.

Answer 3

WOW..You have suffer a lot in less than a year. Im sorry for all of your loss. I know what you mean when people tell you trusted God but you just can because if he was really good he won't let all this things happen right?... Well when I was 8 my grandmother died, all of my best friends move to U.S. and my sister was involved in a car accident and she almost died. I started hatting GOD because he made my family and friends suffer. He took them away from me and I could help not hatting him. But someone told me that bad things happen to good people. Maybe at the moment your suffering and hurting, but have a little faiht and things will get better, eventually. It takes time and effort. Sometimes this things happen to help us apreciate what we have and what we love. This is not a lesson or a punishment. This is life that sucks really badly.But my life used to be really bad, but now Im spending 1 year in Germany as a exchange student. You coud have an exchange student in your house, so you don't feel lonely. Talk to a lot of people. Do exercise, go to the theather. Is ok if you dont believe in God, you dont have to, but everything in life has a reason. Thank GOd that you meet all the people that you lost, because if you wouldn't meet them, your life wouldn't make sense. Hope it helps. If you wanna talk write to my e-mail adress [e-mail]. Good Luck and remember life is precious even thought your going through some rought times. Cheer up, mate!! : )p

Answer 4

I have not gone through this, so I can't pretend to know how you feel. I can only imagine that it is very painful. I do want to say one thing about God. He did not put you through this...unforeseen occurances happen in everyones life. There is a reason for everything, and although you don't understand it right now, maybe you will later. Maybe it is making you a stronger person for some reason. Maybe it will make you turn to God. Maybe you will see God's Grace in all this.

Maybe, just Maybe, one day you will be an Inspirational Speaker and help other woman through tragedies. Maybe you will open a clinic for depressed women. Maybe you will encourage someone down the road because you've been there, and are now a stronger person for it...Maybe you will write a book about your experience to help others.

Time will lessen the pain, but I'm sure you will always miss your family.

Take care, and I wish you the best.

Answer 5

I have gone through something very similar. I don't have any inkling of your personal pain. But I know what it's like to have a series of close losses and endure terrible heartache and emotional pain. I too was seriously depressed. The love and support of family and friends, therapy, and my belief in a healing God are what helped me to begin to heal. There is no time frame on the grieving process and parts of it may be repeated. One day, you will wake up and the ache won't ache quite as bad, and the hurt won't hurt as much. You can make it and you are strong. The average person would have thrown in the towel by now. But you are so blessed. You, one day, will be able to comfort someone else going through this same situation. I am sure a lot of people are praying for you and so will I. I will not tell you to trust God and pray, that's something you have to do on your own, when you feel ready to trust Him. I don't feel you are in that place right now, but God does love you.

Answer 6

You do need to talk about this & possibly with others who have also had major tragedies such as yours. Support groups should help a lot. You are in a raw state right now & need help in coping. They really do help, I know from experience.

When I was 18 my father killed my mother & then himself. Three children were left behind. My aunt & uncle adopted my 2 younger brothers, but that did not work out. They both were sent to therapy, which did not work out for them & they both took off & we never knew where they were for 10 years. To this day, 1 of my brothers has never made the recovery & actually lives as a homeless person & I do not know where he is right now. It actually pains me to speak of this. He does not have to be homeless, he has other options but won't take them. My other brother is doing quite well & I do thank God, although there was a time I hated God. About 15 years after that, I lost custody of my only daughter to her father & on top of that a long-time boyfriend died in a motor vehicle accident around the same time. I never started seeking therapy until almost 3 years after that, at which time one of my best girlfriends lost her long-time battle with cancer. I am now 50. I am still here. I have also been through a lot & not looking for a pity party, but I am crying right now. Don't listen to that *** hole who said you are cursed. There are still people like him out there living in caves who believe such things.

There are a number of support groups you can attend for people grieving over their loved ones. And they do support and help you because they are going through the grieving process, too. I have made some good friends through this outlet over the years & we don't always sit around & have a pity party, but maybe just a good cry every once in a while. I am so sorry for your loss. You have had so many tragedies happen in your life. It is so good that you are seeking help right away. Try a support group. This really will give you strength to cope. I can see that you are one strong person.

Answer 7

Your therapist is right, talking through things is the only way to get through your terrible situation. IS there a group near you with people that have had similar experiences? That way you will realise that you are not the only one going through such a difficult time.
You are not being punished, you have done nothing wrong it is just a series of terrible, heart-breaking events.
You have to stay strong, you've heard it before and I don't want to sound condescending, but with time the pain will ease, though I'm sure it doesn't feel like that now.
Keep talking, online, in a group, to friends, family. Never stop discussing your feelings or the people you miss, it helps to heal others as well.
Stay strong x

Answer 8

WOW, Just hearing this bring me to tear and I'm not an emotional person. So if you want to cry.... just cry.

I lost someone too 2 years ago and I still feel it today. reading this bring back some of the pain. But hey you want to know how I get thought those tough days?

I think this way. " YOU WANT TO TEST ME? YOU TEST ME. YOU TEST ME AS MUCH AS YOU WANT? BRING IT ON."

If you believe in god then ask god, if you believe in karma then ask karma. With me it's just life it self. Life has it's own rhythm. It goes up and down, You know it will get better but not where your standing so move on. You got to start something new.

I started Running then joint the military then meet people along the way and now I'm married. All this because I move on.

Face life "bring it on!" Find your own path and see where it takes you. Pretty soon you go farther than you think you could of to a place you never you thought you would have been years earlier.

bring it on!

Answer 9

Girl, I'm sorry! Things like this do happen... not just to you, I know you feel alone right now. When I was 25, my boyfriend died in a car accident. I found someone else, got pregnant, and my mom died three weeks before my daughter was born. I got married, and divorced in about two years, while trying to settle my mom's estate by myself.

Some of these things do come in droves, I know. Live day to day, breathe once in a while, and keep your chin up. Depend on the people who are always there for you, and find some others who want to have fun... in a non-destructive manner. This is not the end of your life, but it does test your spirit. If you ever want to talk, e-mail my avatar. I will respond on those days when it seems like the whole world is ending! Hang on to that love that you have, because not everything disappears. This is one chapter in your life. You still have many years to go. :)

Answer 10

Good Morning,
I'm sorry about everything bad that has happened to you. Life will get better. The old saying goes when life gives you lemon's you need to make lemon-aid. I'm sure it is hard. God tests your strength and he would not give you more than you can not handle. You are a strong Woman!! You will be able to get through this, Right it is just a tough time for you. I'm sure you miss all of them very much. Try and relax, I am sure that really does not work all that well. Do they have you on medication?? If not I would see your Dr. I wish you the best of luck, and over time your heart will heal and you will be able to move on with your life!!

Answer 11

I have never been through anything lke this and can only imagine the pain you feel. Remeber deppression is anger directed inward so first think long and hard until you get all ideas that any of this was you fault out of your head. then realize that you remain on this earth for a reason and no life should be wasted. Go out there and have all the experiences that your loved ones would have if they could. If you are enjoying life for that many people it is a big responsibility and you will have to appreciate each sunset and autumn leaf to the fullest. Focus on this philosophy and soon you might forget to hate yourself for being alive and learn that life is beautiful.