Is it legal?

Question

My husband and I have decided to get a divorce. We have 4 children together so we have also decided to cohabitate in our home in seperate bedrooms for the sake of the children because we dont want them to have to do without either of us. We are not fighting but have come to this decision in a peaceful manner.Is this legal during and/or after the divorce? We live in Alabama by the way.

as to all the questions regarding what will happen when either of us start dating and the occurence of either of us bringing someone home, we have made an agrrement that in the event we start seeing someone we will not bring them to our home or expose our children to it.

Answer 1

I think it is legal, but it is going to very stressful, think about when you or he start dating again..not only is that going to be very hard and confusing to the kids,it's just plain werid. I went through a similar expeerience and I could take only about 2 weeks of it and I thought I was going to go insane. I had a very hard time trying to pretend that everything was okay for the kids while I had so many different emotions going on inside of me that the kids were not aware of. You can have any conditons to your divorce you want as far as I know...most judges will agree with whatever is in the best intrest of the children. Plus nobody can tell you that even though you will be divorced your ex husband won't be able to live with you. Only you can say who lives in your house or not. I wish you the best of luck and hang in there.

Answer 2

I'm not sure if it is or isn't. I heard a story on GMA about a family who did something similar. They kept the family home and rented a condo or town house or something and on the days which ever parent didn't have visitation the they would go stay at the other place. I would ask an attorney that question. I'm sure you could find one in the yellow pages that would give a free consultation by phone. I must say though, good for you guys for putting the children first. Too many times now a days when a couple get divorced they get greedy and selfish and the kids suffer for it.

Answer 3

Yes, but you must prove incompatibility and a breakdown within the marriage.Grounds:The grounds upon which Alabama law permits a judgment of divorce to be granted include;

When either party to the marriage, at the time of contract, was physically and incurably incapable of consummating the marriage.
For adultery.
For voluntary abandonment by either spouse for a period of one year prior to the filing of the complaint.
When either spouse is imprisoned for a felony conviction for a period of two years and the actual sentence is seven years or more.
The commission of crimes against nature, before or after the marriage.
Drug or alcohol addiction.
Complete incompatibility of temperament of the parties such that the parties can no longer live together.
Insanity, when the insane spouse has been committed to a mental institution for a period of five successive years and that spouse is hopelessly and incurably insane.
When there is an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage and any further attempts at reconciliation are impractical or futile and not in the best interests of the parties.
In favor of the husband, when the wife was pregnant at the time of marriage without the husband's knowledge.
In favor of either party when the other has committed actual violence or placed the party in reasonable apprehension of such violence.
In favor of the wife when she has lived separate and apart from the husband without his support for two years prior to the filing of divorce, and she is a bona fide resident of Alabama.

Answer 4

It's probably legal, but what kind of example are you setting for your children? They'll grow up thinking it's not ok to be yourself, that it's "normal" to live a fake life! When you go out on a date, even if they never see the person, what are you going to tell them you're doing? I don't think it's in the best interest of your kids to live together. If you guys aren't fighting you can easily still do things together with your kids and they don't have to suffer being away from either parent very long, and you don' thave a to live a lie.

Answer 5

You may want to rethink this...it prevents you from having another relationship...how can you move on with your life if you have a boyfriend, and you can never let your children see him? Will you just surprise the new guy...or hide your kids in the closet?

Will you continue to just cook and clean, raise the kids, and allow him to roam at will? Will the issues that caused the divorce magically go away once the legal bond is broken?

Don't sound like a a good idea to me, legal or not.

Answer 6

I can't speak to what is legal or not, but you and your husband sound extremely responsible, intelligent, and civilized to be able to divorce, stay in the home together (albeit separate rooms) and keep your dating private, all for the sake of your children. I'm not sure I can do that. My hat is off to you and your soon to be ex. You're an example to even us folks who remain married on how to behave when things get tough. Good luck.

Answer 7

I commend you and it will not be the first time nor the last time this has been done and has worked out wonderfully. I wish back in 83 when i got divorced my ex and I could've done this to help me raise our 3 kids. I really think that IF there is no issue of jealousy exsisting when both partys may decide to date, atleast the kids will be with one parent all the time IF turns are taken. I think its wonderful !!! AS for it being illegal no i do not believe it is at all. Good Luck to you both and Bless you for thinking of the children !!!

Answer 8

I have heard that same people have done that but in the long run someone get hurt . for example one night he might bring home a new girl and then and you are there. how do you feel about that or when you finely move on and you find a new person that meet s your Fancy what are you going to do.. someone will always going to be with your kids .. so the best thing that i no of if that you move out. good luck

Answer 9

Ash, let me tell you the truth, you still love each other. The earlier you realised this fact, the better for you, your children's welfare and your own future planning. I plead with you to shelve every form of pride and selfish tendencies, and come to the realisation that "NOONE IS PERFECT" - including myself talking to you. Remember how you started and determine to chat a re-union in your marital live. Think about the future of those lovely, godly, innocent children as well as your old age. You may initiate the peace process, and I'm sure he'll have a re-think also. Cheers!

Answer 10

I don't see how that wouldn't be legal. If anything, make sure it is clear that you are doing what your doing for the sake of your children. They come first. Someone may call DCF on you but if the kids are happy and fighting doesn't go on in front of the kids, I doubt you have anything to worry about. You may want to check with a lawyer just to be sure.