shall i dump all the loveletters i received about 16 yrs ago ?

Question

when i used to live in germany and worked as a barmaid i met a nice young man and well sorry to say we had a kind of affair and during that period when he had been at sea he wrote me letters (about 40) and phoned me etc. a couple of days ago i found them all . Im in doubt if i should dump them and all the fotos or shall i keep them still? My heart speaks to me at times not to dump them but on the other hand i should. Its hard to explain really but this man was eventhough we just had an affair there for me when i needed him until i quit it cause i didnt feel to well about it nomore and i couldnt stand the pain and hurt towards his children anylonger. Ok, they are grown up now and sometimes i get the idea of trying to find him to see if he achieved what he wanted and to see if hes still being with that person.

Answer 1

Obviously you don't want to dump them and I see no reason why you should. Are you in a relationship? if you are then it is not a very good idea to try and find him. Good luck

Answer 2

I don't know if you are currently with a partner or not. I think that if you are then your partner maybe upset to know that you are holding onto the passed. But really where is the harm in remembering. I am currently trying to trace my family tree and some of the stories that have come up are very interesting and it would be great to have pictures that could put faces to the names. Maybe your grandchildren, great grandchildren etc would like the same. Maybe you could put the details in a photo album or a scrap book telling your story. As to whether you should try to find him why not it's not like you are trying to recreat the passed just to find out what happened but if things did develop would that be such a bad thing. But do not get your hopes up. History is a great thing and it is a way that people can learn what happened and hopefully learn from it. Tread carefully and good luck in your choice.

Answer 3

I say no, not that they presently mean anything, but they are your history.

I am working on our families genealogy and have wonderful old letters from one family member to another. They are wonderful additions to the family history.

Open them up and slip them into acid free sleeves from the office supply store and don't forget the envelopes. Place them in a notebook and put them away in a safe, dry cool place. No moisture or bugs. Keep them safe for your old age. You will be glad you did.

I still have books, notes and memorabilia from a boyfriend over 40 years ago.

Save those special things and very special pictures.

If you are married, leave him alone. If not do some subtle research to see if he is married or single now. That will tell you what you should do.

Answer 4

Good Morning My Dear,
If I didn`t know better I`d say you are a hopeless romantic just as I. Those old love letters are a part of your lifes experiences, whether good or bad and the fact that you still have them is a great thing. Often times we need to revisit the positive parts of our past to help us remember who we were and where we were going. Remember I said the Positive past. Chances are he is still the say wonderful guy if he is still alive today. But we ALL grow and mature and to many times take on alot of junk in the trunk if you know what I mean. Hurts, failures, loses, etc, we all react to them differently. But regardless, if the relationship you mentioned was as special to him as it was to you I ASSURE you he has kept a part of you in his heart as well. The only way to know for sure is to do alittle research and find out where he is and try to make contact to determine if he is married or not then proceed from there.
I often think of my first love and wonder how it would be to go find her and wonder of how would it have turned out for us if things had happened differently. So just know sweetheart you are are completely normal and I do hope you find the answers you desire.
Hugs
Jim

Answer 5

I completely understand where you're coming from. It's so hard to get rid of something that has meant so much, and that you know you can never get back. Just remember it's the sentimental value you're trying to hold on. You don't need the letters to do that. Maybe I should take my own advice in that department, but it's alot easier said than done.

Answer 6

Only you can really answer that question but if it was me, I would keep them. They are something sentimental and to throw them away you could be throwing away a part of yourself. They are letting for a person that must have been in love with you and its a memory from you past!!

I wouldn't go and find him because the image you have of him for back then will most defiantly be ruined!! He is never gonna be the same person you knew then, its been 16 years!!!

Don't throw them away tho, i wouldn't anyway!!

Answer 7

I was seeing a lad in jail from about 15 to 17 we still write to each other now 16 yrs on I could never throw my letters away.........If ever Im down I get them out and smile after reading a couple of them!

Answer 8

Only you can answer this question.
When ever I find relics of past lovers, photos, letters etc, I tend not to destroy them. It was obviously an important part of your life, you should remember the good bits fondly, even if it later didn't turn out so well.
You cant erase the past. Keep em I say.

But do let the past stay in the past. Live your life for now.

Answer 9

I dont see what the harm is in keeping them. You can always put them away out of sight but you may regret dumping them at a later stage in life. xx

Answer 10

I think keep the letters, but don't obsess over past relationships, they are never quite how we remember them and usually lead to disapointment. Mainly for you, so keep them as memories and live your life now