I have big problems with my gf's ex. Their relationship ended a month ago for reasons totally unrelated to me. However her ex recently texted me and said my gf used to slag me off to her ex and say she wasnt attracted to me and I was boring and she just wanted to use me. The ex also said that my gf and her were still having sex after the relationship ended and spent almost everyday together.
I confronted my gf about this and she said it is all true, but she said and did those things as she wanted to hold onto the friendship she had with her ex and she realises now it was a big mistake.
Her ex is now being nasty to both me and my gf, sending me texts saying "You were always in the back of my head, now I'll be in the back of yours when you picture me giving her the best sex she ever had" and stuff. Thing that hurts me is my gf cares about her a lot and wants a friendship.
What can I say to make my gf see how much it hurts, without her feeling like I'm trying to control her?
2006-10-10 01:32:01 · 23 answers · asked by Anon-y-mouse 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I really love my gf, I have loved and wanted to be with her for 3 years, and she feels the same, the situation just wasn't right. I don't want to end our relationship I just want rid of the ex.
I don't really want to confront the ex cuz she's mixed in with some VERY dodgy characters... if you know what I mean.
2006-10-10 01:39:43 · update #1
My gf has seen the texts and doesnt seem to care about how I feel, she cares more about the ex's wellbeing, and always texts the ex to see if she's OK and still alive...
2006-10-10 02:01:22 · update #2
She obviously hasnt fet what it feels like to have a baseball bat whacked to the back of her head right? Tighten up your gut & go over there with a baseball bat.
She will get the picture loud & clear, trust me..
2006-10-10 01:36:31 · answer #1 · answered by Claude 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is why I'm glad I didn't discover my true sexuality until later in life. I could not have handled all the drama that seems to come with some lesbians. Hun, if your girlfriend doesn't respect ya'll's relationship enough to stop all communication with the ex then I think you have a problem. An ex is an ex for a reason! As harsh as this sounds, you seem to be the rebound girlfriend. Sounds like your girlfriend is using you to make the ex jealous and it appears to be working! Just make sure you're not going to come out on the short end of the stick here. Guard your heart!
2006-10-10 04:46:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As from what i read i have a feeling that ur girlfriend is trying to have the best of both worlds. You as the present partner in her life should take the stand & make her understand that if she chose to be with you it shud be with you only. its always gud to put out ur feelings to your partner bcoz sometimes they think that they are doing the right thing when you dont oppose & in the end they are clueless that you have got hurt. So talk to your girlfriend tell her that ur not comfartable with her always tagging on to the past & if she is not willing to give up what she has with her ex then she may not be the right choice for you. & as for the ex just ignore as I feel she's mostly jealous that you have got something good in life. Maybe ur girlfriend is special that is why the ex keeps coming back. So try also to understand ur girlfriend more so that you will also see those pecial qualities in her & will be able to build a relationship with her which would be much stronger than what she had with her ex so that as time goes on she will eventually forget & discard her ex. make ur Girlfriend more happy. take care
2006-10-10 02:23:44 · answer #3 · answered by kake 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she cares more about her ex than you, get out of the situation NOW. You are setting yourself up for a drama that will end badly and cause a lot of hatred all around.
Be kind to her and tell her that she needs to sort out her feelings before she can really continue into a relationship with you. Let her know that this situation is REALLY unfair to you and that her response makes you feel that she doesn't really care if someone is being hurtful toward you.
2006-10-10 03:42:22 · answer #4 · answered by knightofsappho 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay sweetie....please WAKE UP. I know u love your girlfriend. Thats obvious seeing as all of this mess has gone on & u r STILL THERE. Im wondering if your love is mixed in with a little naievete. There's no question that u love her, but how much do u love YOURself?? U should not have 2 deal with this type of treatment from anybody. Your girlfriend may say the words "I love you" to you, but its so apparent that her heart is with her ex. It sounds like there relationship ran its course and they ended, but the feelings are still way too strong. Your girl should have taken time to get completely over her before jumping into another relationship. Because now you are dragged into a messy situation that is going to only end up hurting you in the longrun. Who is to say that your girl isnt STILL sleeping with her ex? Who is to say that all of her emotional ties are cut to her ex? (Obviously they arent) And u r willing to just sit back and deal with that??? I think u need to talk to your girl one last time and tell her that u love her, and u see that she has potential of loving u back, but maybe yall need to take a break until she figures some things out within herself and makes the choice to be dedicated to you and put YOU first.
p.s. dont deal with the ex at all. She's a messy woman who gets off by hurting you. U can cuss her out one good time & leave it be. If it were me I would've been put my foot up her & my girls a-s-s!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-10 04:33:27 · answer #5 · answered by Raynebow_Diva 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should show your gf these horrible text messages. If that doesn't change the way she feels about her ex, there is a problem. I would never allow someone to treat the person I love like that and want to keep a friendship with them. Good luck.
2006-10-10 01:55:50 · answer #6 · answered by Angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's making threats, report her to the authorities.
Ask the current GF if she really thinks you deserve to have to go through with these threats and harassment. While you may Love the current GF, if she loves you, she will make the harassment stop. If not, it's time to find out and get out if the situation won't improve.
2006-10-10 01:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were in your shoes I would tell my GF I was going to give her time to sort her mess out. The time is really for you to see how your GF reacts to having you step out of the picture for a few days.
Will she return to her ex. and rekindle their relationship or will she finally tell her ex to leave the two of you alone? She does need to handle that problem for it is NOT yours.
It's amazing what you will learn when you take the time to step back.
2006-10-10 01:50:47 · answer #8 · answered by dragon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the problem will always be there until your gf can let go of her ex. it's obvious they will never have a healthy friendship and if your gf realizes that she could lose you from all the stress her ex is putting on you then maybe she will let go.
2006-10-10 02:20:33 · answer #9 · answered by angelic_devil30 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it true though, will it always be in the back of your head? Why was your g/f still having sex with him after they had broken up - if it was only a month ago that they broke up anyway.
Be very carefull, I think you are going to get hurt. I think you are being used.
2006-10-10 01:36:31 · answer #10 · answered by zuj 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋