Should i question him or let it go?

Question

I was going through my husband's PC and suddenly found a folder with many photos & movies. It was all p*orn pictures and stuff.

In this folder, i found a folder with some nud*e pics of him and his ex girlfriend in various sexu*al positions - with her servicing him in many ways.

I dont do many of these activities (my hubby never demanded) - should i start now? (It seems my hubby enjoys these acts.)

I immediately closed it and came out of the folder. Now I am confused about what to do? Should i talk to him when he comes back (he is out on a official tour)?

Does he still see these pictures and mast*urbate or something?? Otherwise why did he not delete them???

Answer 1

the chances are,,yes,he does 'enjoy' the pics but if he isnt asking you to do any of these things but still loves you,,whats the problem,,i know its a kicker having the ex on your computer but for men,,she is just his fanciful sextoy he can bring up at any time,,you could just ask him if he would like you to do some of the things you saw there but only if you are going to give it a go,,he may not even want you to do them,it may have been something he and her did and that was fine,,if he works away a lot he may use them as an alternative to going elsewhere,so to speak but i have to say,,i dont think many would like an ex to be the one giving him pleasure so,,why not say you have no problems him having them but is there any chance it can be anyone else but her,,if he refuses this,,you have a problem,if he is obliging i wouldnt worry.

Answer 2

I'd have a problem with looking at those pictures, because it was of someone else that he had an intimate relationship with. Not the fact that they were just **** pictures, although, once he got married, you would think that he would have done away with the need to even have them, because he has you. I would ask that he get rid of them, because it is disrespectful against you to have these pictures of him and another woman in compromising positions anywhere in the house, and that includes on the computer. What if you guys have kids later that might find them? You should avoid ever having to find out, by asking that he remove them. The only reason I could see for a man keeping an ex's pix, would be if he still had those thoughts about her, and it makes him happy.

Answer 3

Okay honey, he is YOUR husband. Go to that puter right now and delete EVERY one of those files. Be sure to do a shift + delete to totally delete them from the hard drive. He should have gotten rid of the ex gf pics when he got married to you. If you confront him about the files, he will probably just copy them to disc and hide them elsewhere. (one tip: Always look at the history file, temporary internet files, and recent documents. If you don't know how to do this, ask someone who does.)

Now, onto the servicing issues. He has kept those pics to remind himself of what she did for him so he must of really liked it. The real key to a marriage is open communication. Ask him the next time you are in bed if there is anything at all that he would like you to do and that you might consider something new if he is gentle with you.

You should try to be sexually creative but only to the point where you feel comfortable. There is a delicate balance in giving yourself to him fully in passion to give him what he REALLY wants and you not feeling guilty for doing it. You want your hubby to be himself in bed. You want to be able to meet his needs so he does not have to search elsewhere. I know I have always wanted to be myself in bed but feel very controlled by my husband. It takes the joy out of s*x when you can't tell someone what you really need.

If you really really love him, you will forgive him and learn from this to try to make him r*eally satisfied.

One more thing about deleting, he may be able to do a system restore to get the files back. Stay on top of the situation and keep your eyes wide open.

Answer 4

I would definately bring it up to him. Apparently you are doing something right though or he would not be with you still. If he really wanted something different he would of asked you to do it differently or try other ways.
You have a right to know why he has them on his pc in a folder. I wouldn't start yelling but I would bring it up and ask. See if he gets defensive or see if he takes a minute to answer.
You can tell a lot by the way a man answers questions when he is confronted.

Answer 5

He apparently remembers those times with fondness; the question here is, are you willing to perform those acts also or are you not into any of that?

If you're game, tell your hubby that you "happened upon those files", apologize if necessary and ask why he never asked you to do any of that - he may respect you more than "just a girlfriend" and didn't wish to damage your higher standing by 'demeaning' you.

You can start a dialogue that might just put some spark back in the bedroom!

Answer 6

Firstly you should know if the photos are current or of his past acts.
since you have seen the most sensitive of the things any question raised may rock your married life.If your husband loves you like ever before then silence is golden for now.If your husband is friendly to you then you can wait for appropriate time for asking any questions.The photos stored by your husband if goes in wrong hand then both he and the ex girlfriend will have to face troubled times.

Answer 7

as u told that he has not deleted them yet,this means that he must be seeing them whenever he likes. if now he is totally devoted 2 u. and does not have any relationship with the ex then u should try atleast some of the postures for him bcoz it is u who has to satisfy him otherwise he would looking out for these. if he is satisfying ur needs then u shld also do the same. though both of u have different criteria of satisfaction.

Answer 8

Delete the entire folder. See if he has the guts to ask where that nasty folder went. If he asks, say, I don't know - after all, he kept this from you. If he doesn't ask, it's a dead issue. Either way, what are you looking to do with this info? I beleive you want it gone, so, erase it and let it go.

Answer 9

I have gone through that and many more issues. Yes! please confront him.....there maybe a logical excuse(???) Some men are just * pornographic freaks and love watching or fantasizing about women they know they can't have! I am totally different than what my husband is into. But tell him what you found...don't keep it in! Maybe both of you can work it out once you all share your feelings. Good luck!

Answer 10

he must be having your pics hidden to check, and your bro in law must be having access to those pics and he must be maturbating looking at those and pics and u.

well about ur hubby, just delete the pics since he has a sexy wife with him and tell him you dont need that and you will do what he enjoyed with his ex.
you got a h*rny family i guess.