How do you get over unpleasant memories associated with certain music/places?

Question

I think its important to un-assocaiate bad memories with certain music or places. How do you get over those feelings, and allow yourself to listen to the music or be in the place without feeling uncomfortable and sad when they remind you of something in your past?

Answer 1

oh i had this problem 5 years ago when i split with my partner of 13years,certain songs i listen to would reminded me of him or an event we had been to and it does crush you, every song has a memory,and places we visited same thing happened again,all i can say is time is a great healer took me about 2 years to feel better about things again,change the places you go, always surround yrself with good friends to take yr mind off things.
Hope you start too feel better soon hunni x

Answer 2

I really dont think you can just get over what you call unpleasant memories...I think it is just time that will be the healer....I suppose if it is possible for you to avoid the places which are bothering you...then so much the better....but I know what you mean about music...sometimes I hear certain types of music which bring back so many memories and make me very sad...I am not playing the music myself...it could be in a shopping mall...on the radio etc
I think its all about time....which will turn out to be your healer.
Good luck....chin up....and move forward in life!!

Answer 3

wow roxy, thats why they say "music is personal" and it really is, i believe that with everything. I think you need to find new friends, people who are fun to be around who make you laugh, you need to make new memories, good memories, maybe when you do that, the next time you hear that certain song it will remind you of the fun times, see what im saying? Better yet, dont listen to that song. You know i do that too, i loved a man so much that for 20 years everytime i heard that one song it made me soooo sad, but then i thought things happen that we dont understand, Hes now married to someone else is a bad bad alcoholic, and i know now why God didnt want me there, and i am thankful, but i can tell you this (not to preach to you but) look really hard and you will understand why things happen, i finally realized that, now i am on with my life, and i have a great one too, understand? You have to learn to controll your thoughts, a persons mind can be his or her worst enemy, think about it....Good luck! Yes everything does happen for a reason.

Answer 4

They say time cures all, so if they are places that I can realistically spend some time away from, then I try my best to... but if not then I will actively seek out that place and go there until I feel comfortable with it again.

I take a similar approach with music, I listen to it as much as I can, associating it with every day life rather than a bad patch in life.

Answer 5

I had made sure that the music that I liked was suitable for the relationship and it was hard for me at the time to not assosicated the music with the unpleasent memories but i did forget about the ex and still liked the music that I liked and carried on

Answer 6

i felt exactly like you me i decided when a song reminded me off a sad time or bad memory i listened to the song again and thought off a happy memoriey to associate it with and when it came to places just to think about the good ow the place looks the positives\
i hope this helps

Answer 7

You've answered yourself stoopid, do something different to the music or go to a place for another reason. Just try and make them fun.

Then again, no matter what I do I can't get over wanting to beat up Bryan Adams every time I hear "Everything I Do (I Do it For You)"!

Answer 8

I was once in a cafe, where I ordered a glass of Irn Bru and when the drink came, it smelled of wet dogs.
The music playing in the cafe was the Levellers. Every time I hear the song, The Dog Train from The Levellers, I can smell wet dogs! Very unpleasant memory.

Answer 9

I would go along with rudebox 77 - you need to re-associate a good memory over the associated bad memory.

This I believe is the way they teach you when doing hypnosis therapy

Good luck

Answer 10

You can't delete memories or replace them. These things happened to you, they make up your past and they have in turn shaped the person you are today.

Time will ease the pain, but you will never escape your past and neither should you want to - you need to accept your past before you can move on.

Good luck.