i am 19 engaged to my bestfriend. we have been together now for 3 years, i know this is bad but one night i got really drunk and me and one of his mates slept together (thats no excuse i know) we had always had a soft spot for eachother, i do love my fiance but i cant get this guy out my head hes always around us as there families are good mates, i think ive fallen for him and i know he feels the same but we dont want to hurt anyone so we cant be together, he has a new girlfriend now but still we cant stop staring at eachother and we cant seem to resist eachother. im so stuck i would hate to loose my fiance but how can i stay with him when im in love with his mate! even if we cant be together! im so messed up that i cant sleep! i dont get why im like this im not a horrible person...
2006-10-10 00:46:55 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Better now than after you're married!!! Consider yourself lucky, and do everybody a huge favor, and save everybody the sorrow and wasted expense of a wedding, fess up to your boyfriend if he's a friend at all, and explore this other relationship to see if it is actually one of value or just a passing fancy, you know, the grass is always greener. If you end up getting married, it will be a lot stronger if you do it the right way, the honest way.
2006-10-10 00:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by runninfool 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the perfect example for why people should not dabble in things like adult relationships when they're still children. You've been with your boyfriend since you were 16, you thought fiance sounded better than boyfriend, and playing house would be fun, so you got engaged and are even thinking about marriage. But - shock, horror - you get drunk and bang his friend. Yes, I am being sarcastic, but if that hasn't shown you that you are not mature enough for any of this yet, nothing will. Grow up, grow up, grow up some more. THEN start thinking about guys and whether you'd like to marry them or just fall into bed with them.
2006-10-10 08:05:09 · answer #2 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not a horrible person..
you and your regular guy have now reached a state where you are not "in love" any more.
All those feelings 2 have have while there in love are gone.
You were fed by them and now miss them.
like a drug, you have desire for those feelings again. this new guy is where you get it again... like with your fiance, this too will diminish if you continue... keeping your distance will keep the desire alive.
“in love” : A temporary state of love. Can last up to 1 ½ years, but usually shorter. It is based on thirst of love, a constant need to be satisfied, but never is. Someone “in love” can never get enough and wants to be near the one they are in love with 24/7. It is a clouded state of mind.
As they say, “love is blind” the person “in love” will make decisions to please the one they are in love with even if it hurts them. At the time they do not even realize they are doing so. Only after the “in love” period is gone do they see what they have done. They do this due to the fear of losing the person and fearing losing the feelings they get while being with this person.
2006-10-10 07:57:12 · answer #3 · answered by Life Coach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not a horrible person. Just a soul-sucking succubus, like the rest of your ilk. You're not getting any sleep? Imagine the hours of tossing and turning your "best friend" is going to endure once he finds out about what you did. And he will find out. You can't sleep with a bloke's mate and expect it to remain a secret. Scandalous! but good for... TWO POINTS, suckas!
2006-10-10 07:53:52 · answer #4 · answered by Chuck N Knutz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your self first what do you really want, what's the right thing to do, what well happen if your married to your fiance and you have a secret?. if i was in your situation and i am in love truly with my fiance ill be true to him,be sorry tell him the truth and if he really love you hell understand it. he has the right to know.and you should think a way to forget and stop thinking of his pal bec it come in your mouth that you dont want to hurt anyone so you cant be together.
2006-10-10 08:24:34 · answer #5 · answered by mini 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your in a tight situation just tell ur fiance if he loves u enough he'll forgive u if he dosent go for his friend. but yeah that sounds kind of catty thou. but just go with the flow.besides maybe ur just attracted to him. if u could remember that night u probably couldnt control ursellf wen u slept with him.
2006-10-10 07:50:07 · answer #6 · answered by rachel g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think at the very least you should postpone the wedding until you've decided who you want more
2006-10-10 07:50:00 · answer #7 · answered by survival_paul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your confusing love and lust..
perhaps you need to think if you really want to be with your current bf.. or his friend..
you can't have both..
2006-10-10 07:49:34 · answer #8 · answered by steph 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋