I am 25 year old dad & my daughter is 5 months.My wife is a full time mother when i am home my daughter can only sit on my lap for a maximum of 5 - 6 minutes and then starts screaming till the mom picks her up. I really want to spend time with her, sometimes i feel as if my wife is happy that the baby wants to spend time with her.What can i do to get my baby to spend time with me.PLEASE HELP
2006-10-09 23:51:00 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Don't get too upset over this. Your wife is home all day with your daughter so it's natural that your daughter wants her (add that to the fact that they had all that extra bonding time during pregnancy) As she gets older she'll come to you more. My husband used to get so upset over the same thing. Now she's 2 and a definite daddy's girl. Just be patient! :-)
2006-10-09 23:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by . 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just keep being a good and loving Daddy! Almost all babies go through a stage where they seem to prefer one parent over the other one, and they outgrow this, or sometimes even reverse it for awhile where they start preferring the other parent. Just be patient. And talk to your wife, maybe she could go out for a walk or to the store a few evenings a week and leave you with the baby so you can have some time to bond. But be prepared for your daughter to cry at first when she leaves the house. Tell your wife that you are perplexed as to why she seems to enjoy being the preferred parent, tell her that your marriage and parenthood is a partnership and it's important for the baby to feel connected to both of you. What if your wife had to go out of town for an emergency, or were to get hospitalized? Then you would need to be able to take care of your daughter and have her trust you. Good Luck, and please don't worry too much, she's not rejecting you or choosing her favorite parent, you'll see!
2006-10-10 00:03:00 · answer #2 · answered by nimo22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your wife breastfeed? If so, ask her to pump and bottle it so you can spend more time with the baby. Do you work a lot? Take some time off if you can. Just any moment you have free spend it with your child. It's natural for her to go to her mama since she's there 24/7. Give your wife a break....let her go out and you keep your daughter. That works out for both of you. Don't get upset over it.....trust me your wife isn't happy that she's having to do the parenting 24/7. Your daughter will soon want you, when mama has to do the punishing! Also talk to your wife about this. Not only does this put pressure on you and your daughter, but also on your relationship with your wife, and parenting skills. Good luck to you!
2006-10-10 00:00:37 · answer #3 · answered by suagr_britches 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say that it is the loveliest feeling in the world when my baby just wants me so try not to let any resentment breed towards your wife. At the same time, try to arrange some time when your wife is not there - perhaps arrange a massage for her so that she gets some quality time away and you get some quality time with the babe. At 5 months my daughter went through a stage of just wanting me so it will probably pass but don't give up. Mums can be quite boring to babies too sometimes as we do all the regular everyday stuff - your baby will soon enjoy the fun and games she can have with daddy. Take her swimming etc she will be distracted enough not to look for her mum. Also she is probably picking up on your tension about it so just relax and enjoy her and it will all fall into place. You obviously adore her so you are not going wrong anywhere. You will be fine.
2006-10-11 09:02:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a stay at home mom. My baby is six months old, and she will do the same thing to my husband (and truly, anyone else). The key is to get mom out of eye sight. At first for a few minutes, then for longer periods. If she sees mom, or even hears or smells mom, she will want her mom. Do this when she is in a good mood and not hungry (unless you are giving a bottle).
About your wife liking that your daughter wants to be with her. It does give a certain amount of satisfaction that the child you put all your time and energy into is acknowledging it. That doesn't mean we wives don't want to see our children bond with our husbands. We do. But those first months of motherhood are just so specific. The mother/child bond is amazing.
it will be OK. just give it time.
2006-10-10 01:24:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wife is happy b/c her baby wants her and it makes her feel motherly, but she should be happy when the baby wants to you too.
When you are with your daughter don't just sit on the couch and hold her. Be the one to fee her dinner, lay on the floor and play with her with her toys or peek-a-boo, give her a bath, if she wakes up in the night - switch off with your wife and feed and/or change her diaper. She will eventually understand that you a major part in her life.
If you try and do these things and your wife won't let you....ask you wife why she is trying to exclude you. Say "I am gone all day and I would like to spend some time with the baby"
If you still have problems see a counselor.
My husband worked 16 hour days when my children were born and they knew who their daddy was b/c when he was home he was doing things with them
Good luck - you are probably a great dad - who obviously wants to be a part of his daughter's life.
2006-10-09 23:59:02 · answer #6 · answered by totalstressor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is 5 months old. It will happen. At the moment the most important person is her mum especially if she is breast feeding. If she is bottle fed then try to do more of the feeds. Take her for walks out side, read some short books to her. Gradually the time with you will extend and by the time she is 2 she will be following you every where and when she hits the "Why?" stage you will long for the time she wanted mum so much LOL. It will happen just keep trying and the more she sees you the more comfortable she will be
2006-10-10 00:06:09 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try spending more and more time with her. Eventually the 5 - 6 minutes will stretch to 10 - 15 minutes and so on. It's natural that she wants to be with her mom, when it's your wife who's her full time carer. She doesn't understand that you're her daddy yet. It will come, you just need to work at it. Try feeding her bottles and changing diapers, that way your daughter will get to know that you're her carer too. Good luck.
2006-10-10 00:19:01 · answer #8 · answered by Alana B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it`s a hard one, has us mums are always home with the kids therefore we naturally have that bond. my girl was the same with her daddy, but in the end all girls turn into daddy`s girls so don`t threat. when she wakes up and your home go get her it will make a change seeing you there, try playing on the floor and interact with her and her toy`s, don`t get frustrated if you don`t get an instant response has it will take time for her to get used to it. take her to the shops with you or down the park, if out walking has a family and mum is pushing, offer your daughter your hand so she know`s her daddy is there. do fun and interactive things before you know it you won`t be able to put your work shoes on without her wanting you. good luck and stay strong when you are home spend your time with her (quality time is what is needed)
2006-10-10 11:17:07 · answer #9 · answered by shayney boy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must be difficult for you. Talk to your wife about it, why not offer to 'babysit' one afternoon/evening so your wife can go out, have her hair done..... Spend more time as a family all together so your baby picks up on the love and trust between you and your wife. I doubt your wife wants your baby to reject you, but it does feel nice to be needed by your baby. Communication here is so important, try and work on it together as a family. Good luck.
2006-10-10 00:00:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋