hello all
my 33yr old cousin passed away on saturday morning which is my dads brothers son,now i do not get on with my dad or his wife, so should i go to the funeral and say my goodbyes to my cousin or should i stay away as my dad will be there and i do not want to cause a scene ????????
2006-10-09 22:17:22 · 20 answers · asked by gosport girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Whose funeral is that? Your cousin`s.
You are going to say bye to your cousin. to me , it looks, he is more a friend than a cousin by relation. Just because this relationship is brought about by your father, it does not amount to you not paying respects to a friend.
And, friend , death is great levelling force. Such occasions bring forth the realities that some day all of us have to, too. Normally we think that we have another 100 years to ago.
But when a 33 year old dies it brings forth the reality far sharper in focus. Who knows your father might see you in newer light NOW and may it is the time to share the grief TOGETHER.
Please go. NOW!
2006-10-09 22:24:50 · answer #1 · answered by YD 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to go to a funeral to say good-bye and pay your respects. You can actually do this in your own private way. You can go to the funeral home during viewing hours, (try to pick a time when you can be alone), and say good-bye or you can find a special place that reminds of your cousin (his favorite park), and spend time saying good-bye there. Hopefully, if you do chose to attend the funeral, you family will realize that this is no place to create a scene and everyone will remain respectful. Just sit far away and avoid any contact or interaction. When it's over, leave quietly and quickly.
2006-10-09 22:22:52 · answer #2 · answered by mad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorryabout your cousin. You can go without making a scene, I mean after all why on earth should you casue a scene. You are going as your cousin passed away and to pay your respect to him and his immediate family. Just say a polite good morning to your dad and his wife and walk away.
2006-10-09 22:25:55 · answer #3 · answered by London Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must go. Pay your last respects and keep out of trouble. The day is not about you or your Dad or his wife... It's about respect and saying goodbye to a loved one.
Do not get in a situation where there will be a confrontation.
Respect is the key... Remember that and you'll be fine.
Keep your chin up!
2006-10-09 22:20:42 · answer #4 · answered by speckie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are likely to cause a scene, then stay away. Your cousins family deserve the right to mourn their son and bury him without conflict from other family members.
However I think you should pay your respects to your cousin and his family and hold your tongue where your dad is concerned, or just stay away from him!
2006-10-09 22:21:12 · answer #5 · answered by libbyft 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you got on with him, then yes you should go. It's not fair on you that you should miss out on saying goodbye to him just because of someone else. Even if you just go to the funeral service and not the social thing after, I still think you should go. Just avoid your dad and his wife.
2006-10-09 22:22:46 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im very sorry about your loss but dont worry about your father and his wife being there he was your cousin you have to pay your respects when you go just dont speak to him or just be civilised just for that day.You need to go otherwise you may regret it afterwards.I know this has nothing in common but i suffer with panic attacks and dont like going to places where there are loads of people my husbands gran died in april and knew i had to go to the funeral i woke up in the morning feeling sick and crying cos i didnt want to go but i knew deep down i had to,i made myself go even though i was shakey and nervous but after i went i was happy with myself because if i didnt go i would of been mad that i didnt say my last goodbyes to her.So you go and say your last goodbyes and forget about everyone else do it for your cousin.Good luck!!
2006-10-09 22:34:06 · answer #7 · answered by pinkdragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go quietly and sit at the back. When it is over leave just as quietly. That way you will show respect and feel better about the whole thing. If anyone takes offence at that it is they who have a problem and not you.
2006-10-09 22:25:11 · answer #8 · answered by Gerard McCarthy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should definately go and pay your respects....if they approach you and try to cause a scene im sure some one will quickly break it up if you do not respond. stay away from them, avoid them..but being able to pay your respects to someone in your family is something you only get to do once. but i do understand your concern and where your comming from
2006-10-09 22:25:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go,you have every right to say your goodbyes & if you don't go you might regret it,you dont have to see or speak to your father,Sorry about your loss & good luck in what ever choice you make
2006-10-09 22:20:19 · answer #10 · answered by carshalton70 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋