I am a Chinese. My parents in law have lived with my family since last Sep.
All my in laws intervened in my life, everywhere - shower time, dinner menu, parenting to my son, supporting to my parents, work time, shopping etc... They did not agree with anything I had done.
Actually my husband and me have been on separation, but my son and I are still living in my house with my parents in law. I knew divorce could help me out of these situations and I did turn to lawyers...And I knew I had to go to court since my in laws just wanted to get me entirely robbed if I did want to get divorced.
But I couldnt go on...
My parents in law cant give good care of my son, and my husband worked far away from family so he cant either. I dont believe that they can care my son well. I also have other duties. I have to support my parents. So I cant give up all property. But going to court will badly hurt my son. And it will take terrible seesaw battles that I cant deal with.
No others! Thank u.
2006-10-09 22:08:13 · 12 answers · asked by Shirley 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I can't say that i know what you are feeling b.c i don't but i can honestly say that i understand.
You need to take a stand. You are a grown woman with a son! You can take your own decisions. you shouldn't have let them control your life so much.and it was sweet and so respectful of you to let them intrevene into your life so much. they should be grateful to you. but if they are mean to you then you gotta do what you gotta do. You need to GET away from them....you have to do it for you and for your son's better future. plus if you and your husband are seperated...then there is no reason you should live with your inlaws. you should ask them to leave your son and your house.
You said going to court will hurt your son....but think abt it this way....would it hurt him more if you stay the way you are right now with your inlaws controling you like a robot or will it hurt him more if you finally get rid of them by going to court?
I believe everyone should be able to live a life of freedom. and since i have a oriental experience and i know how life is like over there....i really feel that things need to change there. Every woman and every man should have freedom in their lives to atleast do the things they love. life is too short to be a prisoner.
I sincerely hope that you find peace in your life. and that things work out for you. and from now on....you will be in my prayers. May God bless you.
2006-10-10 03:06:03 · answer #1 · answered by Dulce 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to ask your parent in laws to leave your house. If they dont there should be a legal aid (which is a relatively low cost or free for the community) that could help you if they dont leave. But whatever you do - get them out. It is your house. You hopefully have documents (bank or rent) that will prove it is your house (and your husbands). But not the in-laws.
Court is not a good option either.
Once they are out you can get on with your life. Whether you get back together with your husband or not - having the parents interfering in your life is no good. I really feel sorry for you. I hope you sort things out.
Get help if you need. Call anyone that you think can help.
My prayers are with you and your son.
2006-10-10 05:27:32 · answer #2 · answered by Nic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter what your In-laws want!! They have NO control over what you will receive in the divorce!! THIS MISERABLE LIFE, is what is hurting your son!! Having a mother that is unhappy, is hurting your son! You want out!! As you should!! Don't say it's the battles in court that you can't deal with....they will end....and most likely, in your favor. Besides, if you don't deal with this now??...You will be living like this for the rest of your life.
2006-10-10 05:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be getting answers from people who cannot understand the Chinese culture. I know that you are a very family oriented people,who feel that they all need to live together.
Can you talk to your husband in private. Tell him that you can not possibly please every one and work out a way to live apart from the family with your own children for a while.
You will not need to stop caring for either family of in laws but just need time for yourselves. You are in a different country now.
2006-10-10 05:25:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know there are cultural differences that make things more difficult, BUT your husband and his family can't take everything you have or your child (without cause, and it sounds to me that you are a loving parent). It is easier on a child to have divorced parents than to have conflict and unhappiness all the time. See your lawyer!
2006-10-10 05:21:02 · answer #5 · answered by steph c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to be independent while at the same time supporting and caring for your son.
You need to move on to whatever the next stage of your life will be. Your situation sounds totally confused.
I suggest you find some way to get some time for yourself to just reflect and meditate on what you want. Then decide what you must do and do it.
2006-10-10 05:18:47 · answer #6 · answered by Warren D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The more u'll think upon it,the more u'll be in trouble.Its time to be yourself!! Stay away from u'r in laws and think about those who really care for you i.e. u'r son.Or if you can really not leave your parents then show them the best side of you.And by anyways DON'T GIVE UP!!
2006-10-10 05:31:55 · answer #7 · answered by Joey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happiness.
2006-10-10 05:11:36 · answer #8 · answered by Julian 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are divorced, so technically they are not even your in laws. I'm not sure why you live with them but you don't have to listen to them anymore, do your own thing and just ignore their interferences.
2006-10-10 06:00:54 · answer #9 · answered by webby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boot their booties out.
Don't deal with jerks--let their son do that.
they are using you.
Dust off your feet-give them two weeks=contact your lawyer to notify them certified mail on date they must be out.
and stick by that date.
do not leave them alone with your property.
You come home it will be gone.
so make sure when they pack to leave--you be there to observed what they take.
2006-10-10 05:31:40 · answer #10 · answered by cork 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋