I just asked the jealosy question, and a lot of you have come back with great advice. Can you now help me to feel better in myself. I know i am not ugly. but i always feel it. i am aware that i need constant reassurance from my man to feel loved.. attractive... and sexy. what can i do to stop being so paranoid?
2006-10-09 21:17:57 · 17 answers · asked by Emma B 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Why do men always say that all women are insecure, I'm not insecure at all, but many women are, yes, and I think the main reason for this is that you men make us this way, with your constant flirting with other women, looking at other women whilst with us, always saying sexist remarks about other women whilst with us, you do it all the time, and to be honest I can understand why some women feel insecure, but ladies......take this on board....could it be that, men do this because at the end of the day they are insecure about themselves, and they need constant reassurance that they are not getting old and that they can still pull etc etc..I think also, many men like the feeling of having their women feeling jealous of them, it makes them feel good. What you need to do is stop showing him that you need him and that you feel insecure about yourself, even if you do, he will soon start telling you what you want to hear, he will start thinking there is a problem and then the shoe will be on the other foot, trust me, he will be the insecure one.
2006-10-09 21:31:14 · answer #1 · answered by hotbabes_tracey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa.
Gurl. You have to do some deep introspection to change how you feel from the inside out. Unfortunately, our identity and how we feel about ourselves is shaped in our childhood. If your childhood was lacking in love, nurturing, and/or support you will tend to fill your voids with things outside of yourself. I can atest to this truth because I once did not love or value myself...I measured myself by everyone's else's standards.
If you are an avid reader/writer self-help books and journaling are a great way to start revealing your own personal truth to your self, if you are not a reader/writer join a self-help group or see a therapist to get to the root of your feelings of unworthiness.
Any woman who looks to her man to feel loved, attractive, or sexy is a woman looking for a life a heartache. You will be a slave to art of people pleasing, and valuing what society says rather than following your own heart.
With this state of being, you will only attract insecure men, who will sniff out your low self-esteem like a bloodhound looking for an escaped convict.
And who wants that? That's not they way life was intended to be lived.
No one can make you feel whole. So throw all that Harlequinn romance novel, Happy house wife, Jerry MaGuire, love story crap out the window. It's a myth and continues to be one of the greatest lies continually told to women.
You have to make yourself whole again, by doing the necessary work to heal from your past. There is no other way around it. And when we embrace the truth about ourselves, it becomes easier to heal and eventually love ourselves the way we should.
Having the perfect face, body, whip appeal (sex), perfect hair, personality, brain power, will not help you keep a man. At the end of the day...a strong woman who knows her power... will only need a man to compliment her style...
And I am not some angry bitter single woman...I'm a happily married because I know my power. And to get to where I'm at you willl have to discover yours. Do the work...it's worth it...and you will never regret it.
Hope this helps!
2006-10-09 21:51:01 · answer #2 · answered by Get Togetha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably councelling would help you. You need to build your self esteem and confidence. Jealosy and insecurity wrecks relationships so you really do need to get it sorted now before things get worse.
Talk to a doctor for a referral to a psychologist who will be able to help.
Good luck.
2006-10-09 21:23:56 · answer #3 · answered by huggz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being such a navel-gazer. Get out and do something to make yourself feel proud of your achievements. You know there's more to you than the way you look, get stuck into a project you're passionate about - and no, I don't mean getting the boyfriend into your house. I mean something greater, that really challenges you. Show yourself that beauty comes from within.
2006-10-09 21:22:47 · answer #4 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing can stop it... if that is how you are...
We are all like that.. no-one is so assured of themselves that they are free from such insecurities... if they claim they are - they are lying...
Why shouldn't your man continually tell you that he loves you and that you are attractive and sexy... I always tell my lady... Inever miss an opportunity... but then again that is just me... we are all different... if you do not feel sufficiently respected by him... tell him... but whatever you do realise that we are all different in what we say... yet we probably all feel the same...
2006-10-09 21:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by Harrison N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just look at the Secretary of State - Condi. insecurity is a function of knowledge and capability. You need to attend to this on a long term basis. you could take years to change. First step - Do whatever you do the best way. i.e. if you are a bus conductor - try to be the best bus conductor in the world. People with lower iq and intelligence also can do their best at work place. If you cook at home, try to make the best recipes. try to pay attention to everything around.
2006-10-09 21:22:24 · answer #6 · answered by HMG M 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No idea, i often feel the same, You could go out make a load of ugly friends to hang out with then you'll always be the bell of the ball. Shallow i know, but it works
2006-10-09 21:20:20 · answer #7 · answered by Powerpuffgeezer 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
some one or something in your past has made you feel this way if you are not homely then just look in the mirror and tell your self i am who i am and you can take me as i am or get lost just do your best to look your best and to h-e-l-l with anyone else if you know what you look like and it's good go for it girl just remember you don't have to please any one but your self
2006-10-09 21:29:14 · answer #8 · answered by dalecollins64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teach him to give you compliments to make you feel better. Compliment him on anything and everything and if he doesn't do the same ask him what do you think about my hair or my cooking. Eventually he will start doing it by himself.
2006-10-09 21:21:00 · answer #9 · answered by meeeohmyyyy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hiya
don't worry so much its very normal iam married and have 2 kids and iam very insecure maybe your man isn't paying you enough attention i know my hubby doesn't hes always working or on the computer
:0)
2006-10-09 23:13:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋