my husband is direspectful, doesn't want sex, is rude....?

Question

And a whole bunch more. I'm in the Air Force and I think that has something to do with his changes. please view my other question http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkJlgY4zEZkxT2o7T5LNKETsy6IX?qid=20061009233757AA3Ugds

or e-mail me if you can give me some more insight.

Answer 1

Ive read your other two questions that are relevant to this one, and I think he is jealous. You said you were a very attractive woman and you are in the airforce....so you would around all these hot shot pilots and men in uniform...He is probably feeling very insecure. There is an old Dr Hook song..."When youre in Love with a Beautiful Woman"...its hard...I cant remember the rest but it speaks of the insurecurites a man feels when he is in love with a beautiful woman. He is taking it too far...Its like he is angry at you for being so beautiful. Doesnt he trust in your love? Sounds to me like he doesnt. I was married to a soldier, and I think its common knowledge to most people what people get up to in the services. I used to witness some really immoral behaviour from wives of soldiers and some were wives of high ranking officers...they would get drunk and cavort themselves around and all the young guys would have a grope....It happened all the time. I dont know what it is, but a lot of service people behave that way, so maybe he has got it in his head that things he has heard about service personnel is true about everyone and he is taking it out on you thinking about something that is not happening.

You said you went to counselling. I think counselling is great, but just be careful you dont get too drawn into it and believe everything the Counsellor says. Counselling is not an exact science and the only real experts in any realtionship is the husband and the wife.

You husband is behaving like a little boy would behave when he is not getting his own way and that is why I am sure it is jealousy that is motivating him to treat you this way. You probably cannot do much about this because he is filling his own head with imagings probably....and if you are doing the right thing, then the problem is with him and his insecurities. Was he keen to go to the Counsellor? Or did he go to keep you happy? If he only went to keep you happy then he is not going to gain much out of counselling.

But how do you get to the bottom of why he is treating you this way? If he is not going to admit he is insecure and jealous, then there is not a lot more you can do. Maybe you need to give him a wake up call and just be straight up with him. Tell him his behaviour is dreadful, and he either has to start treating you well, or you are going to leave. You dont have to put up with this kind of stuff from any man, let alone your husband. Maybe you could put your own interpretation on his behaviour and say "The reason I think you are behaving this way is because you are jealous"...then ask him "do you think I am playing around"....at least it will open up the lines of communication between the two of you and you will tell by his reaction if he is jealous. If he is jealous he will deny it and probably make too much out of what you said..probably want to have an argument with you, but at least you will then know what the problem is. Sometimes pussyfooting around the problem doesnt help because all you can do is guess why he is that way. The direct approach is a lot better at least you will have a better idea of why he is behaving this way. I bet my bottom dollar it is jealousy. He doesnt like you working where there are all these men in uniform. Confront him on it, you will soon find out if its true.

I wish you luck...I think youre going to have your hands full.

Answer 2

hey girlfriend, just remember that what ever answers you receive is just a bunch of other people's opinions. . .opinions are like @ssholes. . . . .and everyone in the world has got one ! !

I can relate to having a disrespectful husband, one who calls me every 4 lettered name that's not in the book, one who would never admit to having what's referred to as 'a dysfunctional relationship' nevertheless paying some expensive Dr/counselor. to fix it so

don't rely too much on anybody's advice until you've gotten . . .'A SECOND OPINION' from somewhere else.

or maybe all you really need to do ,hun, is just follow your heart and those gut feelings 'cause the majority of the time they are what's right. and believe you~me. . .No Dr.in the world can tell you different !!!!!!!!!

. . . .I hope you havn't judged me for being kinda rude

Answer 3

Have you told him how you feel? try talking to him, but dont say it like "you are disrespectful in rude" but take a different approach by saying something like "Honey, lately Ive been feeling upset, and Im trying to be the best wife I can, and I feel neglected. I have needs just like you do, and if there is anything im doing wrong please tell me, but I want to let you know you have been disappointing me lately, and as my husband, I need you."
This way he wont feel like you are insulting him, but he will feel for you and realize that you do have needs and he needs to put some effort in it. Maybe he is feeling a bit neglected as well, try making a date night together, like go for dinner and a walk, then snuggle up and watch a movie together or something. Spark ur romance up a bit!

Answer 4

well i just had a similar attitude change with my husband i busted him sneaking in from offshore with an intercrpted phone call from someone he said was stalking him she was sure missing him for nothing to have happened (he's good but not that good) etc... if someone truely loves you if your there every night or whatever!!! there is always the look in the eyes even if your fighting (thats my opinion) im getting a divorce he still denighs and all you have to do is pay attention there only as slick as we let them

Answer 5

You are asking if husband is rude, you are the rude one i just read your answer to the question about do ya make out with your husband. You answer if she was black as if there is something wrong with being black that was rude. Your husband probably can't stand your rude as.s i hope he never want your lousy a.s.s you fucing bict*h.

Answer 6

Sounds like he's having trouble with intimacy and commitment. Give him more space, let him grow up some. Get to know his family better.

Answer 7

hmmmmm, are you away a lot ?? i think you need to deal with this in the therapy sessions..... make a list of questions for him.... ask him why he is or is not all these things.... fear, neglect, all sorts of things come to my mind..... and yes , maybe another woman ???what does he do for a living?? he migh feel inferior to you....... sorry, but i dont know what else to say....... God bless

Answer 8

life is too short, find a man who will treat u with RESPECT, who wont want any other woman,theres guys out there im sure,good luck

Answer 9

LIFE is funny some times you just need to move on in life.

Answer 10

A man that doesn't want sex! Wow never heard of it, are you sure hes not gay?