Will these photos break up my family?

Question

My brother in law is 14. and is a weird kid. He was like my own brother before. My husband is currently posted in Middle East and is away from home for a long time.
He has recently started to behave very badly with me. I was tolerating his bad behaviour like walking in front of me in undies, touching his geni*tals when i was alone etc thinking he was a kid and hence harmless.
But yesterday evening he has crossed all boundaries. After taking my evening bath, i came out to my bedroom, locked the door and was changing clothes. Suddenly i heard a curtain move and was shocked. I wrapped my towel around me and when i looked outside, i saw my brother in law walking away with his phonecam in hand. I immediately confronted him and demanded to see his phone camera. He refused and said he had taken my pictures in the buff. He threatened to post my pictures on the net if i tell anyone & demanded I keep quiet.
Should i break up my family? or shld i keep quiet and tolerate his demands?

I have sneaked up and looked at his phone. No pics of me are there now. But i dont know if he has copied it on a CD or something!

Plus i have told my hubby & his parents about this. They dont trust me and say "He is only a child".

Answer 1

Tell your husband as soon as possible. Then turn him over to the authorities. He has broken the law. He is a peeping tom and there are laws against that. Don't tolerate any crap from this kid. How do you know anyway that he hasn't already posted your pic. This isn't going to break up your family, and if it does, you don't need that kind of family anyway. Don't let a minor blackmail you! And another thing, he shouldn't be walking around you in his undies touching himself. If he is a problem child now he will only get worse with you. So you need to get your family involved and stop this kids crap now. This kid knows he can intimidate you and he is going to continue unless you stop it.

Answer 2

Sounds like you live at your in-laws until your hubby can come home. Your hubby has enough to worry about, like, staying alive. Domestic things that can be worked out with the parents or others may help to show you are both still focused on each other.

Step 1: Don't treat the 14yo like the enemy. You would force your hubby to decide between the 2 of you. No-one could win in the long term with that. Find out what the kid likes - what's important to him.

Step 2: Give him a different goal. If it's football he likes, use that as a reward. If he behaves this month - no more insults to his brother's wife, he gets tickets to a game.

Step 3: Know who is on your side. His parents know what he can be like. They just don't know he can be that mean to you. "Sex" is a fatal word, just say he did "Pranks". What Pranks? - Ask him! and you may get them to confront him easier.

Step 4: Put the focus back on what brought you guys together ... your hubby - their son/brother. How can you guys as a family make things good for him?

Good luck and God Bless

Answer 3

Gosh Devika, you have some serious problems going on with your brother and from what I saw in your other question... your husband too. Your hubby and little brother obviously like girly pics. I'd say they were exposed to porn at a young age.

It is vague but I am assuming the brother in law lives with you. I guess you could be living with the inlaws? Well, anyway...

Tell your brother in law he must abide by your rules. Make a rule that he wear shorts, not just underwear, when he is out of his room. Another rule should not peek on you. Tell him there will be no porn in the house and if you find any you will destroy it. (This can be the excuse for removing your hubby's porn puter files.) Let him know you are serious and will arange his immediate removal out of your house if he does not obey your house rules.

I don't know why he is living with you but don't be afraid to kick him out. Your hubby is gone and your in laws are in denial of their son's behavior. While hubby is away, the b-i-law is taking advantage of you. It sounds like he probably wants more than just a pic. Please be careful.

You have got to realize his threats are probably harmless BUT a pic can of you show up 20 years from now on the net and I'm sure you wouldn't approve. Do not keep quiet, he is trying to control the only authority figure in the home. If you tolerate this demand, his mind will only start to demand more and eventually lead to sex.

Answer 4

If you let him get away with it now it may only be the start of things to come. It may be the start to building his character into something that you really do not want him to be.

It is a fine line to find the correct thing to do, telling the rest of the family may or may not be the answer. I would certainly demand the camara and delete the pictures. The way I would go about it is play to his adult personality rather than treat him like a kid.

He obviously likes you, so use that. Speak to him as an adult on a one to one basis. Ask him if he thinks that little of you that he is willing to put your friendship at risk and compromise the trust between the both of you by putting them on the web.Tell him your friendship and family relationship are at risk. Then ask either him to remove them when you are there or to let you remove them.

I think you must bear in mind that he probably wants them for his own purposes and that he may like you more than you know so tread carefully. Hope it works out.

Answer 5

He's not a child ... but I really think you are making more of this than you need to, he's just a stroppy teenager. Teenage boys - sorry lads, but it's true - are the stupidest creatures on the planet, they do not think with their brains. He's only trying to upset you and wind you up. You've told your husband, you've done what you can in that respect. Not your problem if they choose not to believe you. I would keep making a lot of noise about this.

Tolerate his demands? You must be joking! He's just being a little ****, slap him around a couple of times. He's not a child, but treat him as one. The sooner he gets himself a little girlfriend, the better.

Answer 6

You are the adult here, he is the child, go straight to your in laws and tell them that he is out of control and has no right to be sneaking in on you at any time, let alone when you are naked. If he took pictures anyone would see that you were not posing or involving him in any way, so there is nothing to incriminate you or show that you were in agreement to having your picture taken, take him and confront his parents about this behaviour, you should not have to live in fear of a child, poor you

Answer 7

I remember having responded to this question before and I'm still going to suggest NOT tolerating this. If he has gone this far, I would say call the police and file a report. Then speak to his parents and let them know that he can't live with u anymore. U will have a lot of explaining to do to your husband when he gets back. For now, u need to take care of this and do not let it pass. If u ignore it and do nothing, his bad behavior will only escalate. Put a stop to it NOW.

Answer 8

I say beat him like he stole something. He did. Your privacy, which every citizen has a right to.
If this was in your home, he is in violation of your rights. What would you do if it were a stranger? Would you care about his age then?
Forget what the family says. If they had raised him right in the first place, he wouldn't be like that. It's not your fault, it's theirs! Forget about his age too, because those are not the actions of a 14 year old child. If he wanted to get treated as a child, he would have stayed in a child's place. Since he chose to act like a perverted adult, treat him like one, and beat him like he stole something! You can also call the police, because this is a form of domestic abuse too. So it's the beat down, or the lock down. Your choice.

Answer 9

If these pictures break up the family then they are not a very good family are they. Who do they belive you or a fourteen year old little shite!
Tell him you are going to tell his brother and all his family as what he is doing to you is sexual harrassment and he is breaking the law! That may scare the life out of him to make him stop. He knows you are affraid of him and he knows what he is doing and is having a big kick out of it at your expence.
He is no harmless kid he knows what he is doing and he has a huge crush on you or he is just winding you up big time. Call his bluff and to be honest you do need to tell someone in the family what he is doing before HE acusses you of harassment if he is nasty enough to do what he has he will be nasty enough to tell people it is you GET IN FIRST.
When you tell the family try not to get angry as this will get backs up just tell them you are very concerned for their son and then tell them what he has been doing and saying.
Good luck with this it is a difficult one but he needs to be put in his place no matter what age it is sexual harrassment to you.

Answer 10

How on earth would you be breaking up the family????? It seems to me he is being more than inappropriate, and it doesn't look so good for you to not be telling his parents. I am sure they would not approve of his behavior. I am confused about the setup here. Are you living with them? or what? You need to tell someone right away. Who cares about his threats either!!!! I am pretty sure your husband would hate to find out later this stuff was going on and you said nothing. It just wont look right. Tell immediately!!!