I was cheated on. What do I do now?

Question

My fiance cheated on me and the other woman may be pregnant - she will not tell him if she is or not...

I may be pregnant also!!!!!

He is not sure who he wants to be with now. He is confused!?!

What do I do?????

I am confused????And hurt?????

Should I just leave my fiance alone? I love him and I know he loves me!!! HE ADMITS IT WAS A MISTAKE!!! IT WAS THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENED!!! Now he doesnt know if he should be with this other woman...or me...it is so confusing...he doesn't know what he wants to do...

He did not tell me...I found out myself...by finding a number in his phone...

Answer 1

He said it was a mistake and the first time but I more than likely was not the first time, that's what cheaters say when they get caught, that's what my ex said and it was not her first time.

You should leave him because if he loved you he would never have done this and if he is confused between you, his fiance and another women then there is a big problem in your relationship. If it was a one time mistake the choice would be clear who he should be with and he would do anything to fix it, but he's not doing that. Leave him, though it will hurt to do so, find out if your pregnant, tell him the results and decide how you want to live the rest of your life. You'll never be able to trust him again, hopefully you will meet someone one day who will never betray your trust.
You deserve better.

On the flip side, the decision is half yours to make. If you do decide to get back with him, find out why he did it:
Is he not getting enough attention (physical or emotional)
Is there something missing in you relationship that he wants
Has either one of you changed physical (aging, gaining or losing weight, lose of hair or graying- chemistry might be changing)

I might also consider counseling if he's really serious he'll do it and it could improve your ability to communicate with each other.

Answer 2

First of all get all the parties involved together and both you and the other lady for tests to confirm who is or is not pregnant, also have tests done for STD's just in case as you never know where your partner has been or the other person for that matter. Once everything is confirmed leave him and take some time out for you to make up your mind what you want i.e. do you want to stay in the relationship, or do you want to leave the relationship? Should you decide to leave him, stick to that decision. With most men they were be all up in your grill once you don't want them anymore.

If you decide to stay with him, then always remember this cause there will be days when you don't know what to believe, and days when you do believe, always follow your instinct on matters of the heart and you will have to make sure you do a lot of talking to him about it because you will need to let out all your anger and frustration etc. Speak to the other lady as well that helps sometimes, although it will be hurtful.

Other than that i would suggest you leave him, because he has done it once he will certainly do it again and you will keep on being hurt. Good luck i know it is hard, but just take it a day at a time.

Answer 3

Wow cheating, lying, sneaking around, and may have impregnated another woman! I would end it! It is your choice but in my opinion a man like that is not worth it! He didnt admit it either you found out how do you know this is the first time! He may have said it was the only time but thats cause thats one you have PROOF of! Who knows how many women could now be having his children! I personially would NOT put up with it! Especially if your having a child! You do not want to have to put your baby through any of that! I have a daughter and trust me you will only want the best of the best for your baby! And he is deffinately a loser that cannot be trusted on my list! I have also been cheated on before! I know it hurts but if you dont have trust in your relationship, what kind of relationship is that! How does he know this girl? Did he meet her in a bar is she a co worker? That all really matters too! if shes a personal friend chances are it'll happen again and again! If he met her at a bar you MIGHT be safe that he wont see her again! But if she is having his child you will never see or hear the end of her! It'll be a lot of fighting and child support..... blah blah blah! If i were you I'd run as far away from him as i could! Before you get into a lot of crap you dont want to be in! I hope everything works out for you! Make sure if you are pregnant you baby comes #1!

Answer 4

Well,first off get checked for STD immediately. Then, consider this..did he tell you about this or did you find out on your own. If he confessed chances are he felt too guilty and won't do it again.Take a pregnancy test and further precaution because if you did have a baby now, it wouldn't be a good thing.If you can see yourself with this person in the future you must must must must and I can't stress that enough that you forgive and forget.That means you can't bring it up when you guys fight it will just make things worse. Take it from someone who has been there, it's not easy to, but if you love him you have to be able to let it go before committing.I couldn't, and after a while I realized it's not the end of the world and although it hurt like hell, I was able to move on and find someone I could trust.

Answer 5

RUN! Run as fast as you can and as far away as you can.

I did.. I never looked back. I found the perfect husband a few years later, when I wasn't even looking.

I have known cheaters and they never change. Sure, they may not do it for awhile, but they want to. His heart will never be yours. If you are pregnant, and so is the other woman, how will you explain that to your child? When they are older, how will you tell them that you stayed because you lacked respect for yourself - but don't you ever do that?

Ask yourself - would you do that to him?
-what would your mom do? what will your friends tell you?
-do you respect yourself, your possible child?
-he could have given you an STD, even AIDS. Is that the respect I deserve? That's how much he loves you.

Get out. Do you want a lifetime of this? You'd have to see the other child on the weekends and that would be a reminder. If you'd be thinking about it every day, then be sure to leave now.

If you don't respect yourself and this possible baby.. stay - show the child what a doormat looks like.

Answer 6

i was cheated on too, and even though the situation was a little different because I'm not pregnant i hope this helps. i forgave my fiance because i love him and he loves me and it was the first time it happened.but girl it has been so hard to be able to trust him again.he hurt me so much that i can not see him the way i used too.there is deep scar in our relationship that can never be healed.time and time again i wonder if i made the right decision in getting back with hI'm.im sorry i know how you feel.i know it is hard to just let him go,so if you cant let him go give it another try maybe time will heal your relationship.best wishes.

Answer 7

Don't wait for him to decide what your life is going to be like. You make the decision if you want him or not. Don't leave it up to him to decide your life. He may not know what he wants, but that doesn't mean you have to sit around waiting. Do you want a baby? or just the attention? A baby is a lot of work and especially difficult if you can't make decisions about your own life, what will you do when you have a little one? They need attention, money and maturity from parents. You don't sound ready for a baby.

Answer 8

Jessi, I'm positive that you're confused.
You're going to be hurt once confusion is over.
You really don't care if the other girl is pregnant or not, it won't change the fact that he CHEATED on you.
If you're pregnant you can sue for alimony later.
Of course HE HAS TO ADMIT THAT IT WAS A MISTAKE!!!!
Did you think that he is going to tell you that it's not the first time?

HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO???!?!?!?!?
F$CK HIM!!!!
LEAVE THAT PIECE OF $HIT ASAP.

Answer 9

If he really loves you, he won't make the mistake even a single time...that's my thought. However, first, you have to be sure that that girl really gets pragnent and also you. If that girl really does but you don't, then you should let him be responsible for the baby of that girl...which means you should let him go. If you're the one who gets pragnent, then there is no problem, because I'm sure he will be with you. But if you and that girl both are pragnent, your fiance have to be responsible for both children, maybe by adopting that girl's kid.

Answer 10

Hey Jess... this is really a tough one...

Well I guess you need to make the decision easier for him. The baby is a piggyback issue to the relationship issue...

He's cheated on you so you'll need time to rebuild the trust you've had. If he can't commit to you again, then it's better to have a quick end to a relationship and focus on the baby issue. You need to work quickly on this Jess.

So my suggestion: Make it easier for him, take a cool down period from him no calls, no visits, no nothing and see how important you are to him (how he works to win you back, if he chooses you)