she was all alone
no one cared about her
now she's sad and angry
until she met you
she was happy for the first time
you told her you'd be there for her
but i guess that was a lie
now she's all alone again
chorus
se sits on a park bench
wondering why you left her all alone
with no where to go no one to turn to
she starts sliting her writs to try to make the pain go away but it only made her feel worse she tries not to think about you but in the end she always dose
chorus
she wants to kill herself to make the pain go away but she knows suicde isn't the answer so she crys herself to sleep instead chorus
one day she snapped she couldn't stand the memories of you and her playing in her head every day so she decided to jump off the broklyn bridge to stop the pain
her sorrow and life has ened she's finaly happy
2006-10-09 18:22:54 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music
Quite talented :)
2006-10-09 18:24:24 · answer #1 · answered by cecilia2005_2005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a good song a little too repetative . . . we get the fact that she is alone maybe come up with a creative way of saying it such as nothing but her shadow next to her or something that would imply she is alone. . . also Its hard to get the beat in my head without actully listioning to it . . .but i think its a great start . . . keep up the great work . . . I would never be able to write a song!!!
2006-10-10 01:27:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As an unmetered poem, it's riveting.
As a song, I will never know until I hear it -- maybe once you sing it, it takes on rythm?
And as advice, no asshole ex-boyfriend is worth ending your beautiful life over!
Especially if you're a deep and poetic person, you need someone who can feel you on your level!
2006-10-10 01:40:41 · answer #3 · answered by A Box of Signs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a song that people can relate to but it has no syncapation. And it's way too psycho sad. Good Luck with that!
2006-10-10 01:35:02 · answer #4 · answered by Namaste 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay to be brutally honest, it's depressing and maybe if this is your real life you might want to get another.
2006-10-10 01:34:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
MMM....I think U need help. Why can't you write something more
like romantic, or upbeat. You'll feel better........
2006-10-10 01:34:13 · answer #6 · answered by CraZyCaT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WTF? That SHlT doesn't even rhyme!!! Not even the chorus!!
Makes me want to beat the f*ck out of that girl, too.
Pathetic.
Take some prozac, Honey.
And dead people can't be happy.
your song sucks as.s.
.
2006-10-10 01:26:50 · answer #7 · answered by Dick Richie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your avatar looks very sad, is the girl in your song you?...if so, keep writing things down to get them off your chest, but please don't act upon them....
2006-10-10 01:31:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was really depressing. It was good but depressing.
2006-10-10 01:25:33 · answer #9 · answered by Drew 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tis good.
2006-10-10 01:25:19 · answer #10 · answered by ☼Earthbound Misfit☼ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋