I am a 25 year old gay male and have never been in a relationship. My friends tell me that im attractive and would be "a good catch" and I try to beleive them but I just don't know. I've gone out to local gay bars but have no idea on how to approch someone because i have low self esteem. I've even tried the online thing but that dosn't seem to work either. Can anyone give me some serious advice on how to meet people or approch someone? I've heard to not expect to meet someone and they will just fall into your lap (so to speak) but frankly im sick of waiting. Any helpfull advice would be greatly appreciated.
2006-10-09 18:21:40 · 12 answers · asked by i_am_me 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
what you need to do mate is just be more confident. when you go out if someones says how you going at the bar then start chatting. You could even just ask someone hows their night going when your at the bar. Really when it comes down to it you have to be confident. Try working on your low self esteem. You need to build that up. Once you have done so just go out and be friendly talk to the person standing next to you. but don't expect anything straight away. Build a little friend network that you meet up with at the local. Good luck!
2006-10-09 18:38:30 · answer #1 · answered by angelic_devil30 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are me 12 years ago, I know the frustration your feeling and
I wish I could tell you it gets easier but it doesn't. The men in the bars have as many insecurities as you do they just conceal them
better. Keep in mind they are there for the same reason as you,
they want to find a relationship too. But someone has to break the ice, I know that is easier said then done. Take a chance or you WILL regret it. I mean really, what's the worst thing that could happen. They can say that they aren't interested. That just opens the door to possible friendships which could later
lead you to what you desire. Try buying someone a drink, playing pool or darts. Conversations are the key to finding your other half. Take care little fella, I wish you all the best. Everyone
DESERVES to be happy.
2006-10-09 18:59:09 · answer #2 · answered by arcabear69 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can relate [20, never have a relationship, etc]. One things is: you don't want to look for love in a club. That isn't going to happen. I'm a virgin [and plan to stay that way til I meet a GOOD guy], and gay clubs are all about sex [in the main club scene]. GSAs are nice if there are many people [beware, lots of times the member have been involved with each other]. I think the bookstore idea is good. And hangout in the gay part of a city [if you do live in one, find the nearest one and drive [if you can].
2006-10-10 21:08:08 · answer #3 · answered by meikaai 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My daughter is 23 and in the same boat you are. No, I'm not suggesting you meet up, LOL!
Here's what I tell her. You have to have something to bring to the table in any relationship. You have to have something that someone else wants more of. To do this you have to put yourself where you are going to find the kind of person you want to talk to every day. Think about what your passions are, and find a group of people with like passions and join it. If nothing else, contact your local PRIDE organization and get involved on a community level. Doing something useful will put you in contact with other people who are contributing in a positive way to the community you are a part of. If you like chess, join a chess club. If you like to read, join a reading group, or start one at your local GLBT bookstore. If you like to cook, taking cooking classes. You get the picture.
As I tell her, no one is going to just walk up to the front door one day and announce that they are here for you. You have to break through your barriers and push ahead. Do it in small steps and take time to appreciate the small steps you are taking. Be good to yourself because no matter what your friends say, someone who doesn't like themselves very much is not a good catch.
So, get moving, get busy and be strong. Stay out of bars and off the internet. Sorry had to do the mom thing. Good luck to you.
2006-10-10 01:07:31 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not exactly and answer to your question but I'm 23 and in the same situation. I just hold out hope than one day something will happen through new connections I make and the new people I meet. It's tough to really "put yourself out there". Best of luck to you, I'm sure in time you'll find someone.
2006-10-09 18:25:59 · answer #5 · answered by doubtful 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the best advice i could give is go to these places to make friends not a serious relationship, those develop overtime, just be yourself make new friends and most of all have fun,( if you look depressed its likely no one will want to meet you) and one day you'll turn around and realize how close you've gotten to someone, thats how it happened with me and my husband and i tell you i was surprised as heck when i realized it, just keep your chin up you're still young
2006-10-09 18:28:02 · answer #6 · answered by dae_shadow_spirit 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yours is a very common problem, my advice to you is think outside of the box.....go to an adult bookstore, try this web site bearwww.com, or place a personal ad in a gay magazine. I am in the same boat, once again after being in a 17 year relationship, it isn't easy.
2006-10-09 18:33:05 · answer #7 · answered by Michael R 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
same here...
thats why I plan to go to a gay club to meet some new (gay)friends. lol, maybe I dont really know any gay friends cuz i am not out yet. But, friends become closer friends... and something may happen!
2006-10-09 18:43:26 · answer #8 · answered by Travis 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
like someone said earlier, try to make friends, then overtime something stronger can grow from there, and well a good self-estreem is always a turn-on for others, so be confident. whoever u are, the right person will like you for the real you, physically, personality, and everything else.
2006-10-09 20:01:47 · answer #9 · answered by antoni_m 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Meetsingles
2015-02-02 07:24:06 · answer #10 · answered by Wilton 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋