i had sex with my boyfriend in june and not long into it, i kept telling him to stop. i told him he was hurting me and to stop. i was trying to push him off and i was even crying. he wouldn't stop. he didn't stop he was ready to stop. i never thought of it as rape until tonight when i went to a mandatory sex thing for college. they said that most of the time girls don't know that they are being raped. is this one of those times? i'm so confused and really freaked out right now.
2006-10-09 17:20:51 · 19 answers · asked by Rebecca Elizabeth 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
From the way that you asked your question it sounds as though you already know the answer to it and are having trouble admitting it--listen to your gut. If you said no at any time, that means no. And, if your partner disregarded that it is not okay. It is disrespectful, hurtful and not caring or loving in any way at all. You shouldn't feel badly in any way. You did the best that you knew how at the time and you didn't do anything wrong. And, it is easy to understand how it is complicated/muddied b/c the guy was your bf--often times in relationships partners don't feel that they can still say no and on the flip side that being in a relationship does not give either partner the right to "unlimited access." If you are concerned and/or have questions I would strongly encourage you to seek a counselor to talk to about your feelings. Often, college campuses will have student health centers with counselors on staff. Even just one or two visits with someone so that you have a cofidential forum in which to process your feelings. Best of luck to you. Take care.
2006-10-09 17:36:53 · answer #1 · answered by sweetpea77thst 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that's rape. You have the right to say no whenever you want. Even if you were begging for it 2 minutes ago as soon as you or your partner says NO or ENOUGH and the other person doesn't stop that is rape.
If I were you, I'd break up with that boyfriend if you haven't already and speak with a psychologist on campus if you're feeling confused or like you just want to talk to someone. Many campuses have free psychological counselling for their students. Good luck.
2006-10-10 02:06:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anytime a woman says no and the man does not stop it is rape. No means no. If you werent willing and were pushing him off then that means no. He was hurting you and using you and that is rape. If a man loved you he would never hurt you in a mental and physical aspect intentionally. This boyfriend of yours did not respect you and deliberatly hurt you. He raped you. Dont ever be with someone like that.
2006-10-10 00:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by Brooke 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's still considered rape. I'm a Military Police Officer, and it's always drilled into our heads that if consent is initially given and then withdrawn it is still considered rape if the act does not cease. It's up to you whether or not you want to report it and file charges.
2006-10-10 02:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing.
I would say that it is considered rape as you had said 'no' and made your position clear that you were uncomfortable and that you wanted him to stop.
He may have thought you were saying 'no' as in 'no - keep going' kinda way.
Has this happened with him again since? If it happens again, tell him to leave and to come back when he can acknowledge that what he is doing is wrong and that you don't like it. It's a bit strange that you said it happened in June and it's now October.
Don't be scared or freaked out - just know that when you say 'no' he has to and if he doesn't he is in fact having sex with you without your consent.
2006-10-10 00:37:59 · answer #5 · answered by sarahmuffin4 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes it is considered rape. It does not matter that you consented to it at first.
What matters is that you said stop, and he didn't. that is rape. If your boyfriend doesn't care that your crying and asking him to stop, then he never cared for you anyway. You need to seriously think about pressing charges. That is a violation of you and your body.
2006-10-10 00:33:28 · answer #6 · answered by mac15 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is considered rape. I think that you should discuss this with your boyfriend. If he is rude or mean about it, cease contact with him and press charges.
By the way, I am not condoning his actions, but you may be able to talk about it and fix the problem without involving law enforcement. This is a poor decision on his part, but a rape conviction may destroy his life.
If he is still your boyfriend and you love each other, you should be able to resolve this. If you are not in a close committed relationship, you should definitely contact the police. If it happens again, contact the police. It sounds like he is young and made a bad choice.
I am sorry to hear about you dilemma. It is unfortunate to hear that there are men out there like that.
2006-10-10 00:38:40 · answer #7 · answered by Matthew 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
in a way, it is definatley rape. especicially if he saw you were crying, but for the most part that you said stop. unless hes deaf, it was an act of rape
2006-10-10 00:24:11 · answer #8 · answered by sweetassuhgar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes hun I hate to tel lyou but your b/f raped you....no means NO no matter what, doesnt matter if you were into at first or not, you told him to stop & he didnt, thats rape bottom line. Id maybe see someone who can maybe console you & ditch the loser, he obviously doesnt respect you enough to take your feelings over his lustings
2006-10-10 00:44:01 · answer #9 · answered by *♥* ♥* FaeGoddess*♥*♥* 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you may just be over thinking things beacuse you went to this class. I don't think it's considered rape if you consented at the start, but it is inconsiderate if it really happened that way. I've been with a few girls who liked to get all emotional and some even cried during sex but said they enjoyed it. My suggestion would be to agree on a safe word with your boyfriend. A word like....Apple...and anytime you say apple, he has to stop immediately.
2006-10-10 00:42:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋