What do all you relationship experts think?

Question

I have been with the same guy, "Dan," for about 11 months. He is wonderful to me in everyway and I couldn't ask for a better guy.

Last Saturday night it my night w/ the girls/his night w/ the boys. I got a phone call from a friend. My friend claims to have seen my boyfriend "with another girl, with his hands all over her and kissing."

The location of this "sighting" was very poorly lit; my friend has prescription glasses but doesn't wear them and lastly, he's only met my boyfriend twice and it's been at least six months since they last saw each other.

I confronted my boyfriend. I told him what my friend said and asked him if he was with another girl. He said no.

I don't want to be naieve and just keeping falling for Dan more and more and get hurt months down the line - but I also don't want to throw away a wonderful relationship over an allegation that is most likely false. I have no reason to believe Dan would ever cheat on me.

Any sage words?

Valid point, Bad Yellow. I included those details b/c I think it's important to have all the facts before making a decision. He isn't "off the hook" per se but I also don't think it's fair to crucify somebody based on poorly informed hearsay.

If you feel that those "facts" are irrelevant then I respect that. But how can anyone possibly advise me with out any information?

I don't believe my friend is lying to me but do I belive, completely, that my friend THINKS he saw Dan - regardless of whether or not it was. My friend has exhibited past behavior that would make me question him as a source. I do feel he was just trying to look out for me.

Dan has no external motivators to cheat (I'm a damn amazing girlfriend) so if he is cheating I would have to believe it's a manifestation of narcissism or psychopathy.

Answer 1

Sounds like the guy that told you this about your boyfriend probably has the hots for you!?
If your man is cheating, you will know it in your gut. If your instinct is to trust him I would go with that.

Answer 2

Well it sounds like to me you already made up your mind to let Dan off the hook because you gave all the reasons why your friend is probably wrong...You mentioned he wears glasses but didn't have them on, the place is poorly lit and that he hasn't seen Dan in 6 months...If you have all these reasons that you are choosing to use to let Dan off the hook and assume he is innocent, then why does it matter what we think?

If you really wanted to know what we really thought, you would have left out all of the details about why YOU are choosing to believe Dan. You really want us to back you on your decision and I personally am not going to. You are the one who has to sleep at night with the decision you make.

Good luck

Answer 3

Well, It could of happened but from the way it sounds it doesn't seem all that true. And since he is a great guy for you doesn't make sense that he would cheat on you.

Answer 4

Been there done that..... All I can say is keep tabs.... Don't stalk him or anything or get too carried away but just keep a look out for the smallest changes in him or in his mood. Especially his sexual appetite. You can't do anything unless you have hard evidence...... Just dont be so gullible you think he wont do anything, cause it happens.

Answer 5

i dont make a habit of believing everything i hear. instead i see for myself in whatever ways i can. third person points of view are always though not always intentionally biased in some way.

Answer 6

idk i mean its kinda hard when ur stuck in that kinda situation. i mean if you rele dont think he would do that to you then believe em, think bout it would ur friend lie? i mean rele think bout things here and take ur time to think bout it bc u never know who could be lying