I have been married 8 years and for the past 3 years, whenever we do have sex, my husband consistently talks dirty about things he wants to do with men. This is a real turn off to me and makes me not want to sleep with him at all. I believe he has always been like this and I've never taken notice until now due to having such a busy schedule with work and school. It is very depressing and makes me feel undesirable that I may be the wrong sex for him all together. He never initiates it at all with me, I have to be the initiator and when I do, I'm subjected to his homosexual fantasies. Help.
2006-10-09 17:01:15 · 21 answers · asked by MicG 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NEVER let a man make you feel undesireable or depressed.
This is really his problem, and he really needs to get out there and figure it out in his own mind. Let him go and look for a man that will treat you the way you should be treated. Over the years
people just sometimes drift in different directions, you have to do
what feels right to you even if it means being alone for a little while. I wish you all the best .
2006-10-09 17:20:53 · answer #1 · answered by arcabear69 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Today is the day you can be a different person, and that can happen to anyone. Your husband may have had these fantasies before you was married, and he may not have. You should talk to him about it. If he can not control his thoughts then he is not telling you the truth because he can control his thoughts. The truth is it is his thoughts that have kept this live in him for some time now. Tell him to try and stop thinking of men and then work on thinking of you. He must love you to trust you with such personal information. You should love him as much and trust him as well with your personal thoughts. He may take many years to change his thoughts , he may never change them. You could pray in the name of Jesus Christ for help in your marriage and then let Jesus Christ take the wheel.
2006-10-12 21:53:51 · answer #2 · answered by ishelp4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very likely that your husband is, in fact, gay...take a deep breath. Perhaps he married and puts on a show because he is afraid of what others will think, but in today's day and age people have to be allowed to be themselves. This is really an issue you should take up with your husband, or next time you're having sex start doing the same thing to him...talk dirty as though you were talking to a woman. It's very normal to feel the way you do, I know I would in that same situation...I would also say that if sleeping with him is becoming that undesirable or making you that uncomfortable and if he's not looking for sexual advances from you...then maybe take a step back to try and analyze why you're still with him.
2006-10-10 00:08:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
WOW scary. I would ask him to keep his thoughts in his brain and not say anything verbally to you. Did you know this when you married him? ewwwwwww I really couldn't deal with this.
You must not have very good communication with him if you can't talk to him about your concerns. Eight years is a long time to be married and three years is a long time for him to be talking like this during sex without you talking to him about it and asking him to be quiet with his homosexual fantasies.
You need to be in a marriage that is mutual. Otherwise why bother.
Get some open communication. Get some counseling, even if he doesn't go you should go.
Please don't waste your life dedicated to a m an who really wants to be men.
2006-10-10 00:25:20 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I thought fantasies during sex were more in your head. I am a woman and I love men. If someone knew some of my sexual fantasies, oh boy would I have some explaining to do.
Stop thinking so much. It sounds like he still enjoys you. I have noticed that men will sit straight up in a chair if male frontal nudity comes across the screen. I am not sure but I think it is because it is something they don't see often.
2006-10-10 00:19:44 · answer #5 · answered by Jacks036 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, that is pretty serious. Maybe you should have a daytime discussion about why you both decided to marry one another.
If it were my husband, I would thank him for the 8 years he gave me, (not to mention my children) but he has to live the life he was intended for. I am his friend first, wife second.
I can understand that you would feel undesirable, but please understand that your hubby's sexuality has nothing to do with how desirable you are. In fact, you must be something to have held his attention for this long despite his desires for men. Be wary of being vulnerable to other men who would take advantage of your feeling undesirable.
2006-10-10 00:12:56 · answer #6 · answered by burpolicious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Show him your yahoo question. Be kind. Ask him what is up. Then listen. Do not respond, let him talk and shake your head with a pleasant look on your face. You will find the truth, then you can go from there. You must not talk, let him talk. Act interested and concerned.
2006-10-10 00:39:47 · answer #7 · answered by Valerie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there was a politician on t.v. the other day who wrote a book about this, he was married and has 3 children and was having an affair with a campaign manager or something, anyway because the guy was going to bribe him he went public with his story.I think your husband is trying to tell you he is homosexual, ask him outright, if he is, leave him and get on with your life.l
2006-10-10 00:37:12 · answer #8 · answered by glasgow girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is more than just bi.....he is gay and he is doing this to help him keep an errection. It is not uncommon for men to only work out their sexuality around the 30's to late 30's. If he was bi i would say he would not think about or talk about doing it with men while in a session with you. I think you need to confront him over this and be understanding.
Just my thoughts.
2006-10-10 00:16:03 · answer #9 · answered by Fiji_bound2007 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you may have a problem on your hands...that is very bizarre, and on this site not much surprises me, but this statement does....Not to sound preachy, but I would seriously discuss this with him, because if he actually acts upon his little fantasy, then comes home to you, there are diseases you don't want...you know what I am talking about.....
2006-10-10 00:16:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋