she is married and she loves her husband but she still sometimes thinks about him he was her first and they had a kid together but she is so confused she talks to his siter all of the time and hasnt talked to him in about 3 yrs she is thinking of asking his sister how he is but doesnt know if she should i say she shouldnt what do you think she should do
2006-10-09 16:57:35 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he isnt even involved in their childs life
2006-10-09 16:58:16 · update #1
she says that she still has some feelings for him and how can she get rid of them
2006-10-09 17:06:21 · update #2
i'm really confused....she thinks about her husband?
2006-10-09 17:00:18 · answer #1 · answered by *KiM* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight...your friend is married (happily you say) and has feelings for another man?...a man she had a child with and was her first?. I think, if this is the case, that your friend may just have feelings for the first man because of some of the fond memories they may have shared. He was her first, and there is always an attachment to that person even if there is no real love there years down the road. They also share a child and that is a bond no matter what anyone may think and if the guy doesn't see the child then perhaps it's her desire that he would, that is fueling the feelings. Your friend has to ask herself if she truly loves her current husband, if it is true love...then these thoughts shouldn't even be crossing her mind. If she's just curious to know how the father of her child is doing...then I think that's a normal thing, but it isn't fair to string her current husband along if it's something more than mere curiosity.
2006-10-10 00:12:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they have a kid together isn't he involved in the child's life or is he not aware of the child. I f he is and is not involved she needs to just forget about him especially since she has a wonderful husband. It may just be idle thoughts that are going to lead nowhere. Sometimes people think about past loves in their life. She should know that there is a separation between what was and what is.
2006-10-10 00:04:22 · answer #3 · answered by chunkybunky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if they have a kid than she will have to at some point anyway cause her kids gonna ask so she should just to touch base and break the ice But have someone like you be there every step of the way and don't let them be alone. She will probably just see what we all do once they are gone they never live up to our vision of what they used to be they are just the guys we didn't marry
2006-10-10 00:01:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should make her realise what a good thing she has with her husband and that she doesnt want to waste it all on someone who is worthless. He hasn't even got anything to do with the kid, if he really loved her/the kid he would make an effort to be around them and try to work it out. You should encourage her to spend more time with her husband and stop living in a dream world.
2006-10-10 00:00:08 · answer #5 · answered by Knowitall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she should re establish the communications simply for the sake of the kid and leave the emotions out of it...this child will soon want to know about his true father, and they need to work out the differences befor they screw the kid up and he/she creates a false hatred against one parent or the other...they both need to grow up if they are not both activly involved in this childs upbringing...the child changes this whole scenario...and if she hasnt seen the father then the child obviously hasnt been a part of one of these parents lives...tell her think about the kid first...get a vibrator if she's horney...so what if he was the first...thats overrated and a selfish, childish excuse for bulls***.
2006-10-10 00:09:06 · answer #6 · answered by ca_ruff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is quite natural for people to think of their first love, but it seems clear that they have grown apart. He has moved on and is no longer concerned about the child that the two of them brought into the world. This is a clear indication that she too needs to move on with hers; otherwise she is just going miss what is truly important in her life.
2006-10-10 00:08:51 · answer #7 · answered by CBB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should leave well enough alone. Tell her to put the energy she is using for thinking about this guy into her marriage. She will just be opening up a can of worms if she ask about him. Plus why would she want to have anything to do with him, when he doesn't even want anything to do with his own child???????? I wouldn't want anyone who didn't acknowledge their child in my life!
2006-10-10 01:00:55 · answer #8 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you 100%
2006-10-10 00:01:13 · answer #9 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
EVERY one thinks about their first LOVE.
2006-10-10 00:00:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋