My wife no longer attracts me sexually but something still holds us together
2006-10-09 16:55:42 · 10 answers · asked by latinoldie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
25 years of marriage holds you together. You have a long history together. You've almost forgotten what life was like, before she came along. It's hard to imagine life without her. You've shared lots of good times together. You're fond of her, even if there's no romantic love any more.
You could try counselling or therapy. Some of your problem may be a mid-life crisis. Perhaps you're blaming your lack of interest on your wife, when in fact it's your own waning hormones that are the problem. There are lots of things she could do to help you, if she is willing to do so.
2006-10-09 17:02:10 · answer #1 · answered by Kylie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thanks for a good ques. I'm in my 50's, so I'll give you my point of view on this, OK? Marriage is a promise, or it used to be. You can't know the future, and in a long relationship like yours, I'm sure both of you have overcome many obstacles, no? Love changes, evolves, grows in some ways, fades in others. That's life, and love. My wife passed at 29, our love was indistinguishable from our life together, it was the glue that held us together. Maybe that's the reason. Sex? Well, you can't be 17 forever, but you can make an effort to spice things up. I get a kick out of these kids who think 50 is the end of sex. Boy are they in for a big surprise. I am more sexually active now than when I was 22. Don't just sit there complaining, take the shot. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Luck, R
2006-10-09 17:40:15 · answer #2 · answered by Raptor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why isn't she sexually attractive to you anymore? You say something still holds you two together. You need to stop and think about what made you fall in love with this woman in the first place. And just because someone does not look like they once did 25 yrs ago does not make them unattractive. I mean come on did you marry her because she once looked like a supermodel or because you both shared commom interests and she had what it took to melt your heart. Well I don't think she's lost that. Maybe the two of you need some counseling to try and figure out how to spark up your marriage life again. It sounds like the two of you have just taken each other for granted for too long and don't know how to love one another anymore. Don't think this can't be fixed, try counseling. Good Luck
2006-10-09 17:10:32 · answer #3 · answered by flutterby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After 25 years, there would be allot to attract you together, other than sex. There is all that shared history, family ties, friendship, house and home........ There is a comfort there in that you know each other so well. Like broken in shoes.
So, what is going on with the sex? Is it that she has not aged well? Is it that you are attracted to someone else, or just that you have lost your sexual interest all together? Is this physical? Maybe a stop at your doctor office is in order? Men do lose their drive eventually, but usually not until they are 80 or so, from what I understand.
Has she complained about your loss of interest? Is sex something she is not interested in herself?
2006-10-09 17:20:34 · answer #4 · answered by burpolicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why you bad boy...I love it when I am at work and an elderly couple comes to the clinic together. After a while they start looking alike and finishing each others sentences. You are one of the blessed ones and probably don't know it. Be playful with her. Be playful and make people around you want to be around you. WHat do you want to do go out and get some. Wake up and call and ask your wife if it is past time for your meds or dr's appt. Reconize your blessings old fool.
2006-10-09 17:07:48 · answer #5 · answered by Jacks036 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
might be the in love status is fading away, and it happens to couples at a certain age....but love and respect stills holds couples together.. if you have children together, the bond is forever even if the couple does not stay together. if each partner cares and respects their partner, had a good life together, become comfortable with each other and enjoys the peace and quiet, then in love might not be as important as it used to be....i do not know your age but if you have been together for more than 25 years, i might think you are approaching 50 something, i am 59 and content and happy with knowing what i have at home and that is good enough to me...the grass is not always greener next door...it might look good but might not be as good as it looks..
2006-10-09 17:08:33 · answer #6 · answered by churchonthewayseniors 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are equating love with sex. Has the love faded away, or just the sexual attraction?
Try a few things before you start thinking about a separatin or divorce ... visit www.lovingyou.com for all kinds of ideas on how to put the spark back in your marriage (either the love spark or the sex spark)!
2006-10-09 16:59:25 · answer #7 · answered by sexy_lil_butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, what's new? Most people can say the that after 25 years but if you're smart, you'll realize that you have built something much more solid than sex before you do something stupid & lose it. Remember, it always looks greener on the other side of the fence. Having been there, it's definately not.
2006-10-09 17:14:13 · answer #8 · answered by M. J. B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at least you made it 25 years
2006-10-09 17:30:03 · answer #9 · answered by t_ibrahim 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow,... bummer. I'm surprised that's still so important... you probably don't attract her either... what is she to do? Talk to her, not to strangers, will ya?
2006-10-09 16:58:37 · answer #10 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋