ok i was hooked on xanax and meth for the past several years, i went to a long term rehab in Michigan and while i was there i fell in love, we have been together since the moment we saw eachother. We became best friends and have remained very close. When we both got out he came here to Arkansas where i live to stay for like 3 weeks to see how if we would work in the real world. Everything was great, we didn't have 1 problem. The 3 weeks ended and he went home to New Jersey. I had planned on moving there in January and going to school there but since the 2nd week he went home he has been getting high again. He has treated me like ****, avoiding my calls, lying to me. He has quit his job and is still living at home with his parents and he is 30. All of my plans have crashed in my face. I don't know what to do. I am trying to stay by his side but how i'm not sure how much more i can take. I am a wreck!! Please understand this is the man i want to spend my life with. WHAT DO I DO??
2006-10-09 16:34:55 · 22 answers · asked by Miss Salt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he needs to find that satisfaction in his life because he doesn't feel complete. He can have it all. He could have the best girl in the world, a job, whatever, but he will still be missing something. Could it be God? people underestimate what God does in their lives and you wouldn't believe the changes people make after finding him. If you want the kind of guy that loves you for who you are and treates you like a princess and cares about you, God is the only answer
2006-10-09 16:38:30 · answer #1 · answered by Jenna J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My soon to be ex husband was and still is hooked on prescription narcotices and xanax. He went through rehab 5 times and is still using. After each rehab things would get better for awhile, but then he would go back to using. yoursobriety is more important than that. When you two met you were both going through some serious stuff. THat helped build the bond between you. In your environment things were good but now that he is back in his own he is not doing well. He is a loser and will continue to be a loser until he hits bottom and changes his life for good. His parents are still enabling him by letting him live there without a job, still getting high, ect.. I know it is hard but move on and find someone stable who deserves a strong woman like you. Getting off drugs is a very difficult thing to do. Hold tough. If you two are meant to be together you will be. But it won't happen and be good until you are both sober for awhile and learn to cope with all the daily s**t without using. Stay stong. You can make it. Even without him. You go girl! If you ever want to talk feel free to email me at stephani0920@Yahoo.com I have been on both sides of this issue, both as a user and in love with a user when I was not.
2006-10-09 16:54:40 · answer #2 · answered by Stephani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know better than to commit to a man who is doing drugs. It is a moot point that he was clean when you started with him. Good for you to have turned your life around, so don't sabotage yourself. I'm sorry this fellow didn't work out the way you had hoped.
Keep yourself clean and re-establish your own life before you start a new romance.
I can understand that you wanted to marry him and your commitment. After all, you were traveling a similar path. You had both had your troubles with drugs, had cleaned up, and were planning a new future. It is hard to let that go. But certainly, you can see how you are trying to continue into a healthier future, whereas he has relapsed back into the drugs, and the lifestyle that entails. Really, you have already parted ways, and you are hurting for your loss. I am sorry for that.
Try to remember that there are many people who are still traveling the same road as you, but you don't know them yet. Maybe next year, you will meet someone who was spending this very day getting himself in order the same way you are.
2006-10-09 16:56:59 · answer #3 · answered by burpolicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, drug rehab is probably NOT the best place to meet a life partner.
I don't mean to be insulting, but bad decision making is what put you in rehab to begin with.
Why on God's green earth, after recovering from an addiction, would you want to spend your life with a man who can't stop getting high? A mate is a person who is supposed to take care of you, but this guy can't even take care of himself!
Quitting drugs is not the solution to life's problems. If you don't handle the source of the problem (bad decision making), you'll either wind up back in drugs, or you'll do something else equally bad for you. You've got to change the way you're making decisions.
As a possible solution, please consider going to church. It's a complete change in lifestyle, and you'll meet people who can help you learn how to make better decisions. It isn't easy to change, but if you want to be happy and successful, you've got to experience some discomfort first!
2006-10-09 16:43:45 · answer #4 · answered by Privratnik 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be good with you before you try to be good with anyone else. Once you are good with you, then you will be able to tell if someone is good by themselves also.
What I mean is that you have to be comfortable being by yourself, established in who you are. When you are in rehab you are very susceptible and needing of love. Many people find love there and it never works out because you are in recovery. It's a tough time for you and you honestly need to do it alone, because you are the only person who can do it for you, no one else.
And if at 30, he's lying to you and still living at home, what do YOU think he's doing??? You need to get yourself well. You shouldn't have to worry about anyone keeping anyone else sober right now.
2006-10-09 16:40:57 · answer #5 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You want to spend your life with a man who treats you like ****, avoids you, lies to you,won't work, gets high and still lives at home with his parents at age 30. My advice to you is to stay where you are, finish your schooling, and seek a better person to spend your life with. This man will never be supportive or caring toward you and is certainly NOT a good candidate for having children with. Stop seeing him thru rose colored glasses...you really need to open your eyes to the reality
2006-10-09 16:41:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to understand that the man you want to spend the rest of your life with is a drug addict and if you follow him, you will be again too. Meth will age you and kill you but not fast enough to lose all dignity and character.
You have been given a chance to change the course of your life. You cannot help him. Let him go and save yourself.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-09 16:39:22 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you know what you have to do, but it is only you that can do it. Break it off with him. Tell him you can't live that type of life and you don't like watching him live it either.He can all you when he is clean for one year, and if you are still available you will consider seeing him again. Sorry to say I think he will pick the drugs over you. There are lots of other men in the sea, not just this one ground feeder. Please don't waste anymore time on him, you can not help him, he has to do it himself.
2006-10-09 16:41:06 · answer #8 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance's mom was in and out of rehab most all her life learning from watching her usually its never good when you meet someone there. If you are truly trying to be clean then you don't need him to bring you down. You should know that people who are hooked on drugs do dirty things and don't care who they hurt and obviously he doesn't care not because he doesn't care about you but addiction will do that to you. Find you someone who brings you up in life and can help you fight your struggle with overcoming the addiction
2006-10-09 16:40:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i dont mean to be rude or hurt you ..but i dont think he feels the same about you..he has chosen a different road to take in his life..before you can love someone you have to love yourself.and by what you were saying about him still getting high he doesnt love himself enough to save his self from drugs so how could he care or love you...the way a person needs to be loved...just be supportive of him getting help for his drug use and you move on there is lots of good fish in the sea.....plz stay clean and i dont even know you but i am proud to know you got help.congrats now it's really time to enjoy your clean life good luck to the both of you
2006-10-09 16:49:53 · answer #10 · answered by JENNIFER D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋