we have a big familie and all of us dont really get along very well.my father is very ill and it seem that they are only looking at one thing my father and mother house.
2006-10-09 16:34:33 · 9 answers · asked by fly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
that is so sad and i am sry for you.i myself have huge family,and we dont always get along .i just lost my grandmother last week and when it came time to get the things she left to us everyone was there and when it came time to clean her apartment hardly no one was there.and the ones that came to get their stuff hardly ever came to help with her when she was really sick and rarely even visited her .i understand what you are talking about and i feel for you.the one thing my grandma asked from all of us on her dealth bed was not to fight and argue so i have let alot of things go this past week.if grand never asked that i would probably be in jail right now instead of answering your question lol (no seriously) just be the bigger one in the bunch to not say anything your dad will know how good of a person you are for doing that..good luck to you and your father
2006-10-09 17:00:43 · answer #1 · answered by JENNIFER D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly it's times like these that bring out the worst in a family.
My own brother cared nothing for our mother for 30 years - she had a massive stroke, her beloved husband died and it took her a further 2 years in a nursing home before she was able to join him.
I was alone with all the burdens and financial outlay (I'm talking tens of thousands- most of which was borrowed) that comes with this - my brother didn't want to know...until....
he learned that she'd died intestate (will couldn't be found) and didn't just hold out his hand for his rightful share, but challenged my ligitimate expenses, blackmailing me out of several thousands by threatening court action if I didn't give him enough for his new car (sat nav etc.)
Now my father is ill (he has a young wife though ha! ha!) and my brother keeps phoning up demanding to know what the contents of the will are and who's going to be in charge of the distribution etc, which is distressing the life out of everyone and things are starting to turn ugly.
The problem is that people who behave responsibly, respectfully and decently during these times tend to get burnt emotionally. So my advice to you is - stay focused
Show your father all the love you can at this time and ignore the squabbling in the background (but keep counting the silver)
There is nothing you can do to shame them - family or not, there is nothing like the scent of money to bring out a persons true colours.
You strike me as a caring person, and that's just what your father needs...but just please don't believe that when the sad moment finally comes, that 'moral right' will win the day - because it is just usually the vulture with the biggest beak.
Good luck
2006-10-09 16:55:24 · answer #2 · answered by trebs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not alone in this, all my years in nursing taught me one thing, nursing sick old people is sad because the 'family' never visit until near the end, then they all come crawling out the woodwork to fight around the dying persons bedside about what they are going to have etc, I would always feel for the one member of the family who had been running everywhere for their dying relative for the duration of their stay, as there was never any thanks from the greedy ones. I intend to enjoy what I earn and if my family want to visit me when on my deathbed it won't be for what I might posess. there is no point upsetting yourself about these selfish people in your family, you didn't choose to be part of them, it happened, they will get what they want in the end and walk all over you to do it, choose your friends wisely, at least it is your choice and they will be there in your time of need.
2006-10-09 17:58:54 · answer #3 · answered by pottydotty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some horrible family members circle like vultures when there's illness or death in the air!
I have been unfortunate enough to witness this myself and I have a large extended family.
It is unacceptable and upsetting but they're right on here, it is seen as normal.
2006-10-09 16:43:38 · answer #4 · answered by Lorraine R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its usually non communication. We all assume everyone knows what we want / need. The truth is, no one but you will ever know that. Start explaining how you feel, but not accusingly! Just tell people if they have upset / ignored you, then go on to say what you WOULD like to happen. Chances are they didn't even know. And have faith in your own ability to be the person you want to be.
2006-10-09 20:54:24 · answer #5 · answered by youdancin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sadly thats families for you..aprat from sitting down and talking it through there is not alpt you can do..good luck
2006-10-09 16:39:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
allways trying to get one up on eachother no nice but true
2006-10-09 19:35:58 · answer #7 · answered by stephen d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its normal because thats how my family is
2006-10-09 16:36:52 · answer #8 · answered by Nancy R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-10-09 16:40:51 · answer #9 · answered by Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan-Maria Ramirez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋