Me and my bf have a few relationship problems we need to talk about and fix...he's ot the talking type and I think he doesn't want to open up because he'll feel stupid. The only times he's ever really opened up he was all drunk and high. He doesnt drink and stuff anymore.. and he's going through alot right now in his life...I want to help him...and be someone for him to talk to.
2006-10-09 16:30:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you love this guy you need to get this sorted out. Your bf sounds like me, I find it very difficult to open up, even to my wife, not because I don't have feelings for people but simply because I am scared of being hurt and that is basically a reaction to what happened to me when I was growing up.
However much I love my wife I simply wasn't able to be open enough and the result is that we have now split up, the irony is that we can now talk to each other on a deeper level than existed while we were married purely because there is no fear of rejection anymore-we are already split up so it can't get any worse!
I have a good relationship with my ex-wife now because we can now talk fearlessly about the things that we should have talked about when we were married, you need to consider my experience as your potential future. I'll bet he really wants to talk but can't because he fears he might get hurt if he is honest about his feelings.
I hope you can work it out, I would hate to see anyone else make the same mistake as me and my wife did.
2006-10-09 20:33:35 · answer #1 · answered by Very happily married. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guy is the same way. I can't get him to open up when we need to talk. I usually wait till he's in a really good relaxed mood then just visit. Kind of feel him out but not so much he gets aggravated with me. I start asking questions about his day, what's going on, or on whatever subject I want to talk about, but I don't push him. He has opened up some but I just take it slow.
2006-10-09 23:39:08 · answer #2 · answered by robbie347 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the soft (pillow) he can trust, feel comfortable around, never pushy. He will talk to you in time, but he has got to trust you with what is inside of him first. Just let him know you are there for him when he needs to talk. Let him know you care by the things you do and say. Be kind, understanding and trustworthy. Only then when he sees you are truly trustworthy will the walls that he has built around himself come tumbling down.
2006-10-09 23:41:03 · answer #3 · answered by Just me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a teenager like this. Someday he will be a husband to a women who is going to ask me as everyone else has so far, how do you get him to talk?
Some people are just like this. It may take him time. As I tell others who ask me about me teenager, don't make him or pressure him. He will talk when he is ready. Or on another note, get him high if this is that important to you?
2006-10-09 23:35:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there is not much you can do to get him to open up to you. Just let him know that you really are concerned about anything he needs to talk about and be there for him when he comes to you. Don't laugh or berate him or he will never let down his guard. Good luck. been there too.
2006-10-09 23:43:16 · answer #5 · answered by scrapper723 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck with that, hon!
I have a friend who has been with her man for four years now and he has told her that he loved her ONCE! Once in 4 years! He is not the "talking type" either. I say, he doesn`t care. Sorry
2006-10-10 00:03:17 · answer #6 · answered by Roxie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I want you to know that you can not change him. That is something that he has to do but you can let him know that you are there for him & just be supportive. Women think if we can help him that we got to change him. That choice I know now is up to the man or it will mean nothing.
2006-10-09 23:33:53 · answer #7 · answered by "karma" 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys in general are not like that. That's not how we think. "Talking it out" is primarily a girl thing.
If you want to help him, just be sympathetic and available. Don't push him, or you're just adding more stress. If and when he decides he wants to talk, he will. And he'll say what he has to say in short sentances that are very carefully thought out.
2006-10-09 23:33:42 · answer #8 · answered by Privratnik 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hes prolly embaressed to talk. As stupid as that sounds us guys are taught that only pussys open up. were also taught that women will think we are ******* if we open up. A cant for the life of me open up to anyone. its just the way our parents raise us.
2006-10-09 23:34:42 · answer #9 · answered by xdfsddfgdfgdfg d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
theres no fixing the male ego thing, if he wanted you to know something he would tell you just accept him for the way it is and leave him be, its just the male ego in us that cant and wont talk nevr force a guy it just wont work. plain and simple.
2006-10-09 23:34:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋