Shes only 13. And shes not aborting. She wants the baby. She says shes gonna get help from a few friends money wise. The father of the baby is 14 and in 11th grade. Her mom will kick her out once she finds out. Shes already 3 months along. I fear she will not be able to take care of this baby. She's really skinny, will that have any effect on the pregnancy? What can I do to hell?
2006-10-09 16:25:46 · 15 answers · asked by Alii 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
She has a temporary jon working at a haunted trail and will get money from that. But she plans to use some for other things such as getting an ipod and doing her hair. She says that her dad might help her once she finds out. Shes 3 months in though, she can't hide in much longer. And how will she be able to go to school. If she doesn't she won't have an education and without that you really can't get a decent job. And living by paycheck to paycheck just won't be enough.
2006-10-09 16:34:07 · update #1
Alot of you are saying her mom will not kick her out, but I disagree. Her mom already kicked out her adopted daughter. And her parents do not live together. They are not very wealthy at all. Her and her mom do not have a good relationship at all. If you knew her like I do you'd understand.
2006-10-09 16:38:46 · update #2
I know i'm adding alot of details but what you write makes me add more. He is going to try and help but he recently discovered he's moving to lousiana, I believe. Somewhere far away from New Jersey. Shes been to the docters, thats how she found out she was pregnant. I'm not sure if she went any more times then that.
2006-10-09 16:55:41 · update #3
Oh my goodness. I feel for your friend and for you. It must be hard to have this secret hanging over your head and on your heart. I think you honestly need to sit down with your friend and convince her to tell her mom. You might be surprised what the mother will say. You will probably be disappointed but after a while she will come around. you should also talk to you friend about going to see someone like Planned Parenthood or something. She might want to think about giving the baby up for adoption. I know it would be hard at first, but she needs to realize that she is only 13 and she needs to finish school and grow up herself. There are alot of adoption agencies out there that are good and can help her find a great family for her child. And some even have open adoptions. So she will still be able to have some sort of contact with her child as it grows up. She needs to honestly step back and look at the situation. She is 13 and pregnant. Not saying that 13 yr. olds can't be good parents, but it's really hard. I had my son at 19 and it is still hard. I'm trying to finish college right now so that I can give my son a good life. Is your friend gonna be able to finish high school with a baby? If her mother kicks her out, where will she live? How is she gonna support a baby when she is homeless and jobless? Does the baby's father want the child? Is he gonna be able to help her support htis child? These are things that she needs to consider. This is a human being she is bringing into the world. She needs to be prepared for the hard and rough times. If she can't be, then she needs to give this child a fighting chance and let someone else raise it. I hate to sound mean, but it's true. I have seen to many people with children and they don't take care of them. I am going to school to become a social worker and so I know the statistics. Please talk to her. And try to be a good friend. She is really gonna need one right now. I hope this helps.
2006-10-09 16:43:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look in you area phonebook for a crisis pregnancy clinic or pregnancy resource center, they specialise in teens with unplanned pregnancies, free pregnancy tests, nice women to talk to, baby supplies, maternity clothes, etc. They have free baby care and breast feeding classes, and when baby's born they usually give you a diaper bag full of goodies. They also know how to get any and all benefits, like Medicare, WIC, foodstamps etc. And they would know of area teen pregnancy group homes if she got kicked out. She should go to the pregnancy center first, and get a plan in order then tell her mom. Most states will not let a 13 year old keep her baby without proof that she has a gaurdian like her mom SHOULD be. But it could be an Aunt or Foster family, just not on her own.
if you follow up your question with what state/town she lives in, I can give you more details, I taught classes at a pregnancy resource center here in S.D. cali for a while, and know some things about what's available. Below is a list of info she might find helpful.
2006-10-09 17:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by e_gladman@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get her to see a doctor because prenatel care is very important especially when the mother to be is young. try some place like planned parenthood if she doesnt have an actual doc. if she isn't gaining weight it could definately effect the pregnancy and the baby...the baby could end up premature or born with a low birth wait neither of which are safe. and as hard as its going to be she really should tell her mom. she's going to need all the help she can get. but the think the best thing you can do for her right at this time is to get her to a doctor. then she has to work on telling her mom...offer to be with her if needed...though she isnt showing now eventually she will be and her mom is going to notice...i wasn't showing until i was 7 months pregnant and i ended having my daughter 6 weeks earlier and she only weighed 4lb 10oz thankfully she was healthy and i had prenatel care...its is extremely important.
2006-10-09 16:32:03 · answer #3 · answered by my101201cutiepie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your friends dilemma...but I applaude you for being her friend and trying to help her help herself. First question would be, has she seen a doctor? There are many church based organizations that can help her...does she live with her parents??Doesn't her mother notice that she is pregnant. Since your friend is so young that in itself can be problematic. She should go to her local social service agency and ask for help there. The agency will take care of trying to get some support from the babies father...either from him directly or through his parents. She needs to have the baby in a supportive environment without worrying about money. Your best bet would be to go to the state first so she can get medical coverage and money, then make her get to a doctor. She will need prenatal vitamins, and help making good food choices.Then get her to a good doctor/clinic.You are a good friend to her and she and her baby will thank you some day...
2006-10-09 16:38:04 · answer #4 · answered by mcrtn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is hormones. She probably has the superb of intentions and would not comprehend what she's doing, yet being pregnant can do exciting issues on your suggestions chemistry. It makes you forgetful, and your suggestions wanders continuously. in case you call her on it, you're able to lose a chum. She actually is that hormonal genuine now. Wait it out. being pregnant would not final continuously. She'll be favourite lower back.
2016-11-27 03:49:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs to talk to her parents- most teenagers are afraid that their parents will kick them out but they usually calm down and work things out- she does need prenatal care- no matter what i would just there for her so she has some support through all of it- sometimes the babys fathers family will also help in this situation
2006-10-09 16:36:11 · answer #6 · answered by dmizell1221 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off. don't count that her parents are going to kick her out. you would be surprised how much parents can love when you think the worst...
second...the best thing you can do for her right now is to encourage her to get medical attention right away. for the health of herself and the baby.
you can buy prenatal vitamins over the counter at any drugstore.
don't put doubt on your friend. this is not a decision you can make...this is hers to make.
good luck to you and especially to your friend
2006-10-09 16:36:13 · answer #7 · answered by lighting goddess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's 14 and in 11th grade!!!! but he doesnt use protection!! man he crazy, anyway if she does get kicked out maybe she could live wit you or something? I don't think it matters that she's really skinny, but of course im no expert. tell it to her mom easily, maybe she will help her wit the baby!
2006-10-09 16:35:46 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ Sydd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being thin surely makes one wonder if she is going to be eating well enough to feed the child, at her age she is chosing to ruin her life, she will soon find its not like having a doll party, her mom cant throw her out, thats not legal, she has to provide for the girl but she can force her to go to a home for unwed mothers or to abort the child. you cant help, no matter what you do, this girl is a total idiot. the best thing you can do is to not follow in her footsteps.
2006-10-09 16:35:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell her to get on Medicaid (health and human services office..call information to find where the nearest one is to you) they will pay for everything the baby needs...medical wise...they pay for doc. visits, perscriptions she may need while pregnant, and medicaid pays for the actual delivery and all that...which without medicaid could be way up in the thousands...so medicaid is a smart idea in her case...also tell her to apply for food stamps while she is in the medicaid office...she will qualify..that way she doesnt have to worry about money to eat and she can save her money for other things...I praise her for keeping her baby...she is a brave girl...but hey if you have sex..then you have risk of getting pregnant atleast your friend is mature enough to handle herself...I wouldnt count on the baby's father helping..just cuz he is young and she doesnt want to put all her faith on him to help out..and him decide not too( which might not be the case..but I know men in their twenties that run from pregnancy..he is 14..you dig?) but anyhoo...as far as the living situation if you wanna help honestly..after you help her find the medicaid and food stamp office and have her see a doc...help her find a safe, secure place to live...wether its with you...a grandma, friend, aunt...make sense? She really does need to get on medicaid so she can go to a doc and have herself and her baby checked out....cuz she needs to be on her prenatals..which are essential in the growing process for the baby...as long as she is EATING right the whole being skinny thing shouldnt be a prob. but like I said you wont know for sure if their is a prob. til she gets her tushi to the doc...so god bless...your a good friend for wanting to help...and I hope everything works out for your friend...O after you do all that lol...make sure your their for her emotional up's and down's...cuz their is gonna be a lot of them lol...you really are a good friend if you do all that...good luck
2006-10-09 16:38:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋