Ladies help !!!!!?

Question

Ok I had a good friend that is a woman. We had a brief thing but were just better off friends. So we squashed it and moved on. She helped me get through some really bad seperation and custody issues. And was the most dependable friend that anyone could ask for. However I met someone who couldn't handle our friendship and as our relationship progressed, we moved a couple of times and I lost touch with that friend for a while. She recently called me to say hey and my now wife is all over the place. Am I wrong to maintain the friendship or what ?

Answer 1

You can not give up your friend for your partner. especially if you knew them first. i am friends with someone i mucked around with during difficult times and he helped me a lot. i am now engaged to another man but can still talk,visit and have fun with my mate with out anything happening because i am commited to my hubby to be. if you r commited to your parter then there should not b any issues at all. as i said in the beginnin you cant give up your friends people can not tell you who and who you can not b friends wit have a good think about it its your life your friend

Answer 2

Well, I think you made your decision when you chose to marry the woman who is now your wife, rather than maintain your friendship with this other woman. At that time you basically told your wife "You're more important to me - I chose you and will cut off the relationship with this friend" If you rekindle the friendship now, you will be giving your wife mixed messages which may lead to trust issues later on.

Your wife is feeling insecure, and although that is an issue that she needs to deal with herself, I think that you need to respect the sanctity of your marriage and try to understand why your wife feels this way, whether you agree with her or not.

I am in no way advocating your wife's jealousy, but at the end of the day, you will be sleeping next to her - not this other woman - and maintaining the peace is your home is the most important thing you can do.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Yes you are.
Your first responsibility is to your wife and your marriage. If this intrusion hurts your wife, stop it. Yes you are wrong to maintain a friendship with a woman from your past who you once slept with. The most dependable friend anyone could ask for is now your wife, not an outsider.

Answer 4

You said she couldn't handle you being friends with this woman. That is not going to change now. You are only asking for trouble. Yes, that friend was there for you when you needed her, but times have changed, things have changed, you've moved on. Let your wife be there when you tell her how much you appreciate everything she did for you, but you can not have a friendship with her now.

Answer 5

I agree with kjw answer. Include your wife in whatever you do with this friend. Make your wife see what a good friend she can be to the both of you. As long as you remain open and honest with your wife and with your friend it should be OK. Find out why your wife feels so insecure. If you're made to choose, resentment could just build between you and your spouse. Lets face it, marriage is hard enough without a chip on your shoulder.
Best of luck.

Answer 6

YES! If youre girlfriends intuition says" no ",and she has enough faith and trust in you to be honest and tell you that, then yes,you are wrong in maintaining a relationship with the other woman. I wouldnt allow my husband to converse with a woman he has had a relationship with before me,especially sexually.He has an exwife and a daughter with her who I have raised,and my husband only converses with her on Serious matters,even when daughter is droped off and picked up,my husband only waves and walks away,even visitation,she calls me to ask him questions,thats what the line is when you have a relationship,I dont care what situation youre in,or circumstance.Look, the fact is, you didnt just have a friendship with this woman,you had more and that threatens your gf,and if you truly care for her and love her,you dont want her to question your dedication,and you want her to know she is more important than anyone,take it from me, you will be hurting your relationship if you encourage the friendship with the other woman.

Answer 7

I feel like if you try to make your wife feel all warm about it...include her in everything...make her your wife's friend too then it should be OK. Just no secrets. The second you have to start hiding the fact that you talk to her is the second you STOP. It may mean that you and your wife have a few confrontations about it...but if you can both be trusting adults then I think the friendship should be welcomed.

Answer 8

No your wife needs to get a grip. You have done nothing to make her think that you would cheat and if you wanted to you would whether it was your freind or someone at a bar. She was a good freind and i see nothing wrong with you talking to her. You could repay the favor someday. I do not understand why husbands and wives get so upset if the other has a freind of the opposite sex. What difference does it make. If you do not kill it she will give you hell. So you have to decide what you want ! I wife that tells you who you can be freinds with are a freind that you can count on no matter what?

Answer 9

Just a quick question for you. If she was the one with the friend she had a past, although short relationship with, would you want her hanging out and talking with him. Your wife is your bestfriend, say good-bye to the "other woman".

Answer 10

That depends. How much do you value your marriage? If you value your marriage and you love your wife then it is my suggestion that you leave this other woman alone. Why give your wife any reason to feel insecure?