How do you forgive a cheater ? and if you do how do you heal yourself and trust again?
2006-10-09 15:41:07 · 16 answers · asked by traci s 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you don't you will not likely ever forget. As time goes on you won't think about as much, but that won't make the hurt any less!
2006-10-09 16:55:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough question....i was a cheater...not with my current partner but my previous one. I think you have to understand the reason that person cheated to start with......for example were they cheating for cheating sack...like for attention or was there something going on in the relationship for it to happen and i don't mean this as an excuse....but sometimes it can be understood. For example in my situation...I did not love my wife but had I children and felt responsible....looking back it was dumb but at the time it was a cry for help.
If my current partner cheated on me...i use to think i would just kick them out...but now i would analayise the situation....for example over the pass month i have been a jerk and really i was pushing her to an affair (she never had one) but if she had...i would have to say i deserved it.
How do you forgive it...that depends on the person...you never forget it...but if you do forgive it...you can't drag it up in other fights...the tough part is the trust side of things...and that part can drive you and them crazy.... so if you do take the person back and forgive them....make sure you can live with your decision....cause you are only asking for further heartache if you don't forgive 100%.
Good luck..
2006-10-09 23:03:17 · answer #2 · answered by Fiji_bound2007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once someone has cheated on you it's very hard to forgive and trust again. I know that the hurt seems like it will never end but eventually you will be able to heal and with the right person you will be able to trust again.
2006-10-09 23:44:32 · answer #3 · answered by Susie B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive but can you forget. I tried - five years later he cheated again. Or I should say that was when I caught him again.
Trusting again is difficult. I don't think you will ever truly trust him again. It may be even difficult to trust any man.
Take some time and figure out what is best for you. Do you want to forgive? Maybe it is time to move on.
2006-10-09 23:08:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should not forgive him because if the person is a cheater then most likely the person is going to stay a cheater!
2006-10-09 22:45:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear traci s,
Trust can take years to build but just seconds to shatter.
There is no good reason for cheating on someone, Cheating is the highest point in a false relationship.
If someone has cheated on you, there is a 50% chance that they are going to cheat again, if you forgave them this time, they will think you will forgive them another time.
- Dr.wuv
2006-10-09 22:48:39 · answer #6 · answered by Jay 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
By asking God to give you the strength to forgive, but you will never forget.
Trust is earned, the cheater will have to bend over backwards to gain your trust, they will have to suck it up or risk losing you.
2006-10-09 22:45:17 · answer #7 · answered by patbendrv 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you decide to forgive.Then you have to forget.Try not to hold the grudge.It takes time to heal from this kind of thing.If you don't think you have it in your heart to trust and forgive then it is in the best intrest that you go your own ways.
2006-10-09 22:45:10 · answer #8 · answered by nick j 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When u forgive it has to be true! That you have excepted this and will move on.I forgave after 2 yrs of marriiage and he did it again 14 yrs later.So its best to see his character as it is and dont waste your yrs on a promise and how sorry they are.They will say anything to keep you when they are caught and it will test you your limits on what to do.If you can let go do it! You may have to later anyway! good luck!
2006-10-09 23:02:24 · answer #9 · answered by jessy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can heal yourself, but dont take them back. If they really thought they made a mistake, thats their problem, not yours. People dont change. If someone really loved you they would never want to do anything to hurt you. Even if the guy didnt mean to hurt you, he shouldve know that it wouldve.
2006-10-10 13:51:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never be able to forgive, so I cant help you out with the second part of your question
2006-10-09 22:44:51 · answer #11 · answered by foxyraley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋