I am a 26 year old mother of one, single by choice and financially independent.
I would dearly love to have another child to complete my family and give my son a sibling, without exposing myself to the risks of disease & abuse that can accompany traditional methods.
Has anybody used donor sperm, did it work and how to go about finding a suitable donor? Also what is a reasonable amount of financial recompense to offer the donor? (UK pounds sterling)
Thanks for your advice x
2006-10-09 15:24:52 · 16 answers · asked by bombsh3ll 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
first of all, to tara, i just want to say that there are a lot of reasons, i know, and agree. and i do commend u for ur bravery, but there's a lot more to it than that. how old is your child right now? i'm guessing this one isn't by a donor. please take a moment to consider another perspective:
i am a product of a donor. i wish i weren't.
my mom too is a single mom by choice. i am her only child. she had me by intratubal insemination. she had many difficulties having me, but finally was successful. she too wanted a sibling for me and tried again, but was unsuccessful. now that i'm older and on my search for the man i will most likely never know, along with siblings that i more than likely will never find, or at least not all of them, i know that being born in this way is not how any child ought to be. it is hell growing up not knowing if every man on the street could be "him" or having to ask every person you date what their dad did in his past (to make sure you're not dating your half-sibling). now i'm not saying that i don't love my mom- i will be the first to tell you that she is my very best friend. and i completely believe she is a brave woman. she did this all of her own accord, not telling my grandparents until after she was pregnant with me. however, if i could have been born any other way, i would do it in a heartbeat. however, that's not my choice and never was. but i can speak for the majority of all of us offspring that we would all have rathered been born from normal circumstances and had a chance to know our fathers. please reconsider. our pain is deep and everlasting. we have walk with an eternal identity crisis because we only know half of ourselves, and because there are pieces of us walking around that we'll never have contact with (our siblings). it is a very lonely feeling, i promise you.
i would advise you to look further into the situation of donor offspring, because no matter what, your child (or potential child) comes first. if you want what's best for it, you have to make a decision: do you want it to live with this pain? feel free to message me back if you would like more information, as i can refer many other offspring to you so that they can give you their stories and perspectives too.
also, i would like to apologize for good_old_bastard's comment. he definitely shouldn't have made his opinion made in that rude way.
2006-10-09 18:54:37 · answer #1 · answered by luckyturtle788 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
First of all, well done on trying to continue your family in a responsible manner, I hear so many young girls saying they want to be a single mum and should they go and have a 1 night stand or ask a friend? If you go to a sperm bank the man has considered the implications of his sperm being used and has consented to being a father. They are checked for diseases and matched to the mum according to what characteristics you want. If you are financially secure I don't see anything wrong with you adding to your brood in this way. I haven't been through this route myself but I did see a programme about it just a couple of weeks ago and it looked pretty straightforward. Good luck hun!
2006-10-09 20:50:34 · answer #2 · answered by Emz77 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good luck having another child! I would like to have a couple of my own and will do whatever I need to to do it I am married but I would have done it on my own if I had to.
That being said:
Hey you, the icon with the red hair; turtlesomebody; Ive checked out some of your other postings; you know what, I was adopted. I went through the same things you are talking about when I was younger. Guess what? I got over it, I suggest you do the same. Don't let what happened in the past rule your life this much, its called obsession and it's not healthy. If a person wants to adopt, donate, whatever, its their choice and decision. The donator is no more the parent than the person who gave me up for adoption. The people that raised me were and are my parents, they sat with me when I was sick, they cried at my wedding, they have been with me through it all. Thats a parent, a parent is not just a genetic donation or gift. So, Im sorry, but get over yourself.
2006-10-12 22:02:13 · answer #3 · answered by reesie271 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First off anyone who thinks that sperm donations are unfair there are many reasons a persons seeks them out. I have with my husband due to his sperm count. Secondly I think that you are brave and strong for choosing to pursue your dream of a complete family. Many families have only one parent and you sound like you are stable. Thats more then a lot of children get. First off you talk to your OBGYN. They will go through the profiles with you and walk you through the process. They will probably do a procedure called an IUI. The cost in america is $500- $750 a cycle. Best of luck!
2006-10-09 15:54:43 · answer #4 · answered by Tara C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the guy had a written settlement or perhaps an e mail from them to be a sperm donor with out rights or usual jobs spelled out or implied, he shouldn't ought to pay. If the two between the girls human beings admitted he replaced into purely a sperm donor, then the only individual to pay the newborn help is the different lesbian. you will possibly ought to assume that if one agreed with the guy that he replaced right into a sperm donor that the different, if in conflict of words, may be mendacity approximately it. i might additionally say he shouldn't ought to pay if he in no way lived with them and that they in no way claimed newborn help till they separated, which might additionally validate his tale that the only lesbian with custody is barely in seek of latest child help from only a sperm donor with out parental rights or usual jobs.
2016-10-19 02:58:17 · answer #5 · answered by balderas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, talk to your physician, then take a good look at all the reasons you really want to do this. Reasearch any donor clinics and make sure you know exactly what you are getting.
As far as compensating the donor is conserned, look up the word donor in the dictionary. I believe the root word is DONATE. It implies gift, to me.
2006-10-09 15:34:39 · answer #6 · answered by GORDO BLAKHART 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi im a mid 30's guy with a young son. My partner cannot have any more children, but I would like to father another child. I am a long donating blood donor and am therefore clean and healthy. Would be happy to help
regards
x
2006-10-10 01:29:04 · answer #7 · answered by highlandregion 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You would need to go to a sperm bank. Ask your ob/gyn or contact your local hospital...they both may be able to give you info that would help. It is certainly your right to have a child if you wish!
2006-10-09 15:28:19 · answer #8 · answered by **KELLEY** 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
this may sound silly but look in the yellow pages and find a sperm related clinic, they can help
2006-10-10 07:25:34 · answer #9 · answered by trigger 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For realiable sperm, go to a sperm bank....
...for any ol' sperm... go out and find some random guy.
2006-10-09 15:30:43 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley P 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋