My husband and I have reseantly seperated. All through our marrage he always promised that he would change and now that I have left he has said that he will go into rehab and get a job. How do I know that this time he isnt crying wolf? I have left him in the past and it was always the same old thing he would change for a few weeks and then go back to normal. Why should I beleave him now?
2006-10-09 14:52:32 · 14 answers · asked by kristal930 k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he aint gonna change why do women always think they can change men. oh well its your life
2006-10-09 14:56:57 · answer #1 · answered by xdfsddfgdfgdfg d 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to believe him right away. When his actions are showing you that he is following through on his word, then you can believe him. Don't get back wiht him until he has a job. Let him know that when he has his job that only then will you consider living in the same residence but not before. You just might be giving in to easy and he knows it from the past. You have to change his thinking in showing that you are not a pushover. Good luck.
2006-10-09 22:01:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The funny thing about addiction are the lies it produces. Until he got clean I would not believe the promises. So until you see results and he can stay clean for 6 months, I would strongly advise against believing him. I know it is hard to watch someone destroy their life and the ones around them. But he must first admit he has a problem and seek the help he needs. Be supportive to him.
2006-10-10 10:57:12 · answer #3 · answered by Gina K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's going to change great, he can do it whether your with him or not. In this case NOT! You're both adults start taking better care of yourself and cut the circular drama. If he makes the appropriate changes and sticks to it without you there, then and only then consider rebuilding the relationship as friends.
2006-10-09 21:58:02 · answer #4 · answered by Omni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
life lessons teach you how to deal. the writing is on the wall, take a step back and look at your life. are you where you want to be? you can"t save him. save yourself and move ahead, stop looking in the past. your answers are their, reach out and understand , you are very intelligent (use it). If he wants to change he will in time. you must take responsibility for yourself and move on. love is a beautiful experience in life but it carries responsibilities (give yourself a chance to become focus. strong ,independent, build your psyche and stop excepting the non-truth of your husband. He needs help and you can't help him, he needs therapy from a professional. stop the co-dependency. Begin to live a life you deserve. Believe in your faith.
2006-10-09 22:20:50 · answer #5 · answered by tru2thyself 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, give the fella a chance; he has gone into rehab. Has he ever done that before? Sounds like he really wants to try and do right by you.
2006-10-09 21:59:43 · answer #6 · answered by doggoneit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know for sure. Maybe tell him he has to prove to you he has changed before you go back to him. If he needs rehab, then he needs to do that asap. Then job, then worry about mending his marriage. Tell him to get his life straightened out first.
2006-10-10 01:37:54 · answer #7 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His actions will tell you if he has changed. Have absolutely nothing to do with him for at least a year. By that time you may not want him and you can observe the change.
2006-10-09 22:04:04 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him do his thing.If he has a drug or alcohol problem he has to want to quit for himself.I know from experience.It will only work if you do it for yourself.Maybe give him some time to prove to you that he will do these things and take the steps to show you he will change.You can't change someone into somebody,but you can support them if they want to change themselves.
2006-10-09 22:00:57 · answer #9 · answered by nick j 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to go into rehab first... make him actually get though the rehab program first. Be supportive but tell him, to be with you he has to want to make himself better. If he makes it then be with him. If not then he has a disease and will never recover because he does not want to.
2006-10-09 21:59:09 · answer #10 · answered by kari 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes promises doesn't mean anything it's said for that moment.give him time to prove himself before you consider taking him back again.
2006-10-09 22:09:08 · answer #11 · answered by ladybug 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋