At what point do you give up and make peace with the the reality that you'll never find love?

Question

People say that you just need to be patient and that there will eventually be love in your life, but I've heard that for years. I'm a confident, healthy, intelligent man, who believes in romance and trust in a relationship. In the past 20 years, I have not found a woman who views those things as being important.

Is it time to give up and acknowledge that I'll be alone for the rest of my life?

Answer 1

NEVER GIVE UP! Love is out there somewhere for you, maybe you are just looking too hard. Don't lose heart though, many people don't find the one they are meant to be with til much later in life. Some don't marry for the first time til they are in their 60s or later! Best of luck!

Answer 2

Well Mike, the most likely cause of your troubles is that you may be dating the wrong women - time and time again. I know this sounds like a simple, easy answer - but you may really be subconsciously drawn towards the same type of woman, time after time - and this may not be the type you really want. Perhaps you tend to go for women that may be a bit unavailable? Or ones that are simply "arm candy" without much inside (yes, there are women with beauty AND brains, however they will tend to be much more low-key and humble). Take a closer look at the women you've dated, and see if you can find some patterns. Try to be open-minded when looking for someone that has the qualities you want. And... give online dating a try - my husband and I found each other online, and couldn't be happier.

Answer 3

I so agree that that is important in a relationship. Maybe you are not getting out enough? Try the library, the thrift stores (all us women love them places), coffee shops, church. Anywhere where you can meet people. I am sure you will find the right woman for you. Also put on a smile and do not be afraid to say hi and bring up a conversation. Current issues, sports , what ever you like.Good luck!

PS: Women too believe in trust and romance. That and love are the foundations for a good relationship.

Answer 4

Your comment makes me sad for you. I don't think you should give up. I think maybe you should change what you are doing and where you are looking. There are a lot of really nice ladies out there looking for someone like you...and somehow your path's aren't crossing.

I know you will probably think this is silly but have you tried a reputable dating service? I met my husband through a video service in 1988. I hadn't been meeting anyone worth seeing more than a minute and none of my friends were meeting anyone either so I just decided to spend some cash and see what happened...I dated a few before I meet my hubby...and I knew after our first 4 hour phone conversation and first date that we were "destined". I don't know if all those on line services are as good or as safe, but it is worth a try.

I believe that there is someone for everyone. You just gotta believe. Good luck.

Answer 5

GO and have some fun, dont worry about all the mentally ill two timing insecure women. Just go and have fun, do what you like to do. As long as your not hurting anyone, the door to pretty much anything is open.
You might just find out that yes, you are confident, healthy and intelligent and that lots of women will be jealous of you, but that women with a similar personality to yourself might have been treated the exact same way you have and now have the same view as you.
If you bump into one of these women while your out having fun, then things might work out 'swimmingly' lol. Plus if you both upbeat because youve not let the scumbag losers get you down, then your all the more positive and both winners for going out and having fun.
Get pissed up, go to a club, smoke some weed, say a few prayers, check the net for nice women, treat a pro. to a night with a gentleman (be safe) and do it all again next weekend. Something like that might work, lol.
(Copyright - any similarities to real persons or events is purely co incidental)

Answer 6

You've been probably been doing something wrong, like not meeting women in the right places or something; because I don't think it should be that difficult to meet someone who "views those things as being important". You know that saying there is about not continuing to do the same thing and expecting to get different results....

Is there any chance you're looking too hard for "love" rather than a decent relationship with a nice person you like? Your remark that you have not found a woman who views those things as being important makes me wonder if there is something else about your personality that makes women think those things you listed don't outweigh whatever the other issue(s) may be. It just strikes me odd that you mention "confident, healthy, intelligent" and "believes in romance and trust.." because, as a woman, those things aren't necessarily what I'd be looking for.

What I'd be looking for would be "kind" and "decent" and, yes, "of a certain level of intelligence". I wouldn't necessarily care about who "believes in romance", and I'd almost be a little suspect of the person who feels the need to include "trust" in what he feels is important. That isn't to say I don't think people should be able to trust each other, but I guess I so take my own trustworthiness for granted that it wouldn't occur to me to specify "trust" if I were looking for someone to date/marry.

I wouldn't particularly worry about how healthy someone is (as long as he didn't have something contagious :) ), and if "confident" is the first word you chose I'd wonder if you are too confident. I wouldn't care about who was confident, as long as they didn't seem to have some crippling, anti-social, insecurity.

I can't speak for all women, but it seems to me the women I know look for someone who is clean, who knows how to make the most of his appearance (people don't always care about who is too fat or too thin or too bald) and dresses like a grown-up, who is kind, decent, thoughtful, and who has some version of a sense-of-humor about life.

I think if finding "love" is important to you you need to re-think your approach to meeting people, meet more people, expand your circle of people, and join some things so you can meet more people (and even if there aren't potential dates there you may meet people who have friends you may want to date). If its important keep looking and look harder and do different types of looking than you've been doing.

If you're just kind of sick of the whole thing just build the best life you can, find things and friends that can bring some pleasure and happiness and a certain type of socializing; and build your happiness on your own. If you do that you never know when you still could be surprised and run into someone you'd like to date.

At what point do you give up? Why give up. Its something to do.

Answer 7

Never. If you really, really want a woman to come into your life you must make room for her. Clear half your wardrobe entirely so when she shows up in your life she will be impressed by your attentiveness. Then on a piece of paper write down all the virtues and merits you want her to have. Be as specific as you like. Keep this list about your person and read it at least 3 times a day. Then go out and have fun but take it easy, no one likes a needy dud. Your sub conscious will look and point her out to you. Good luck.

Answer 8

Never give up. You know the old sayings that if someone had just waited another day, the thing they wanted to happen would have happened. By the way, what does your social life consist of? Maybe you need to go to places where there are more women who like the same activities that you do.

Answer 9

this song will always keep me going! i will never give up on love! but i haven't even started so here are the words

At a diner down on Broadway they make small talk
When she brings his eggs and fills his coffee cup
He jokes about his love life
And tells her he's 'bout ready to give up
That's when she says,"I've been there before
Keep on lookin'
'Cause maybe who you're lookin' for is..."

Somebody in the next car
Somebody on the morning train
Somebody in the coffee shop
That you walk right by everyday
Somebody that you look at
But never really see
Somewhere out there is somebody

Across town in a crowded elevator
He can't forget the things that waitress said
He usually reads the paper
But today he reads a stranger's face instead
It's that blue-eyed girl
From two floors up
Maybe she's the one
Maybe he could fall in love with

Somebody in the next car
Somebody on the morning train
Somebody in the coffee shop
That you walk right by everyday
Somebody that you look at
But never really see
Somewhere out there
Is somebody

Now they laugh about the moment that it happened
A moment they'd both missed until that day
When he saw his future in her eyes
Instead of just another friendly face
And he wonders why
He searched so long
When she was always there at that diner waiting on

Somebody in the next car
Somebody on the morning train
Somebody in the coffee shop
That you walk right by everyday
Somebody that you look at
But never really see
Somewhere out there
Oh somewhere out there is somebody

Answer 10

I would say it is never the right time to decide that. That you may never find love is a possibility that you (and everyone else) should perhaps think about making peace with, for no other reason but insisting that you move along about making yourself happy without it.

But I think that deciding you'll never find someone will make you much less open to that possibility with anyone you may meet in the future. You may find love, you may not.