Do you feel you should share everything about yourself with a partner or spouse?

Question

Communication stems from a desire to know and a decision to tell. Do you feel you should share everything about yourself (including sexual history, desires, and fantasies) with a partner or spouse? What are some of the concerns with doing this? How might you prepare to tell your spouse or partner something difficult?
I am writing a ten page essay and want other comments! If you don’t have any thing appropriate to say please don't reply...Thanks!!!

Answer 1

A very good question, posted in the wrong category. As the meaning that you attribute to the word partner is the life partner (so, what it has to do with the higher education category?), this question is not suitable here and you could be accused for miscategorization.
This is a kind reminder.
As you may know, I don't use to do this but there is not just me in
Y!A.

Answer 2

Hi,
My mom always said and still does "never let your right hand know what your left hand is doing" However, honesty is always the best policy. There shouldn't be anything that you can't tell your spouse or significant other. However; there are some that are narrow minded and judgmental. They may say that you can tell them anything, there on and so forth, but in the end, they may judge you, not trust you or throw that delicate issue up in your face. You know, may use it against you. Some things are better off left unsaid. If it's something that could savatoge what you have together and you want to keep it, leave it be. If it's something that you can't go on living with, without it eating at you. If it's something you know you can't work through, something that will eat you up keeping it locked inside, keeping you sick; then release it and deal with the repricussions of it. I could further assist you but I don't know the detail.

If you want to tell your spouse something difficult and uncomfortable, you better do it in an unmanipulating way. Make sure you're a comfortable setting, everything cool and slowly get into it. You should know this person good enough to do this and know when it is an appropriate time to do so. If it feels to uncomfortable and you're not getting good vibes, then hault. It is to soon or not worth the risk. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Most things I want to be able to tell my spouse. But some things she doesn't want to know, like everything I thought about my former girlfriends.

You have to be sensitive to what they WANT to know.

I have heard some say, that sometimes the price of a sin against your partner may be that you must never speak about it. I'm not sure a relationship can withstand that slow poison, however. But is it about YOU feeling better or about the health of your relationship? I don't know. Maybe both. It's about trust. Not just that she thinks she can trust you, but that she really can.

Fortunately, I've never had to hide anything important from my wife, in 24 years. Maybe I'd feel different if I had given in to temptation somewhere along the line...

Answer 4

I have been with my husband for six years now. We have been together since we were 14. We had an instant bond and felt naturally comfortable with each other. We talk about and discuss everything, including things normal guys wouldn't ask or other people might think are taboo. We fell comfortable discussing everthing and think that by sharing our thoughts and feelings with each other, it will help keep our relationship from having so many problems. If I am going to discuss a difficult or touchy subject with him, I ease into the subject with casual conversation or talk about a similar situation.

Answer 5

Honestly, it really depends upon the person /spouse's personality. What sort of things can they handle? Do you trust them enough? Will they use some of the information to throw back in your face? Are they sensitive enough and understanding? How would they react to what you have to say? It really depends on the type of personality that you are dealing with? Different people handle things differently. Perhaps the answer to this question depends on the type on personality a spouse has to deal with. Good luck with your paper!

Answer 6

I share everything because I feel comfortable with my boyfriend. I trust him with the things I tell him and I think it helps him to trust me because he knows that i am always honest with him, be it my desires or the things I'm not proud of in the past.
To tell my partner something difficult I would set them up for it first, let them know that I needed to talk about something that isn't easy to talk about ( so they understand the imporance of the situation) then tell them. It is easier to get it off your chest, than to feel like you need to hide it, or to have them feel like you are hiding from them, then finding out in a worse way, or much later than they should have.
Communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

Answer 7

there are some things that need to be left between you and GOD (or whatever it is you believe in). there is a difference between hiding something, and just not telling every single thing. EX.. your partner knows you've had sex with other people in the past, but is it necessary to say exactly how many or every single position or place that it was done? not really. might start a discussion that would probably be better left avoided.

Answer 8

I think that if you think you trust someone enough to tell them "everything" - you'll end up losing that person.

Sad enough, but I truly do not think that there is such a thing as an unconditional love. There will always be something you think or feel that will cause someone who says they love you to stop loving you - and vice versa! "You can't handle the truth!" is a very apt and universally accepted principal that I think everyone needs to understand. We can NOT accept the truth about the ones we love. We need to see PAST it or AROUND it, but we definately can't SEE it.

I'm sorry if these seems overly pessimistic, but it is how I feel and it is based on 31 years of living.

Answer 9

Yes you must tell them everything about yourself if you think it would effect the relationship. A person can't truly love you if they don't know who you really are. But there are some concerns that if you tell them something about your past that they will treat you differently, even what happened was a long time ago (rape, abortion, cheating). But if you want a deep relationship then you will tell them and work through whatever problems they have w/ it.

Answer 10

I believe it is important not to become codependent with your spouse. You should be able to maintain your own identity, hopes, desires. However, communication in a relationship is essential. Some things are better left unsaid.