should i leave my wife who cant take care of child / wife won't grow up & runs back 2 parents house W/O child

Question

newly wed over 1yr. Had baby ,I grew up and found stedy jjob asked her to stay home and enjoy mother hood.. since she was raised by grandmother while mom partys.before baby come we move into aour own place i dont ask for much just a clean housenow her mom want to basicly raise my baby and i wont have that. she sleeps all day and has panic attacks before i come home & realizes that the house is a mess. we fight about it and shee leaves all weekend long comes back 2 a clean house and just lays in bed does not ask how the baby was doing and expects to make love like nothing happen

Answer 1

Marriage is suppose to be forever so no I don't think divorce is the answer obviously you didn't take the time to get to know this woman before you married her let divorce be the very last resort talk to her without getting mad and tell her how much you are feed up with the things that are going on and tell her you think that yall should go to counseling if not then it does sound like yall will end up getting a divorce

Answer 2

Eek... Hopefully you didn't know she was like this before decideing to have a child with this person..
Obviously she is not mature enough to be a mother right now.. Ask her why she does not want to have a healthy part in her childs life and why she feels she wants her mother to raise this child, when she was unsuccessful on raising her herself. She also could have inherited this lifestyle from her mother. Have a family talk with your wife about the situation before making a decision, tell her that she has to grow up she has a child to look after, considering that you are newly weds with a child i would consider going to professional counselling,.. this way if you do decide to leave her and take her to court for custody, it will look better for you as you were the one who tried to get counselling for your marriage
Good luck... You are in a pretty hard situation....
Ask yourself if you still love her.. and want to be a family with this woman and your child... The most part of the answer should lie there,.. but not if if conflicts with the well being of your child.

Answer 3

sounds like both of you need to sit down and have a long talk.maybe even see a marriage counselor.she might have postpartum depression. It also sounds like she is young and not really ready for the "family/wife/mother thing" far as her mother that isn't the problem.that's your child not hers so don't worry about her. you should respect her but sometimes the grandmother of the baby tries to get all in their daughters marital affairs.she might need to be put in her place also.I say that because if you were a dead beat dad she would have something to say about that. are you sure your wife isn't on drugs? of some sort. maybe she didn't really want the baby after all and she's undecided now. if the talk doesn't do you any good. then don't let it break your spirits, be a damn good dad to your child and don't you slip on your fatherly goods. sounds like you on top of your stuff. keep up the good work and if none of that work then change your locks and send her *** back to her mother where she likes to run to. you can't make her do right, all you're going to do is run yourself crazy. good luck and don't give up

Answer 4

Oh man i'm sorry that your going through this. I'd try to sit down with her and talk to her. If nothing changes then leave. My husband works and i am a stay @ home step mom to his 2 children. I cook, clean, do all the laundry, bath the children, get them ready for bed, get them up for school, etc. Its really not all that hard to do. If you keep the house up and pick up after yourself then it doesn't take that much time to clean. She needs to quit acting like a baby by running to her moms house all the time and grow up and take care of her own baby. She should be glad and thankful that you are allowing her to stay home and enjoy motherhood. Some moms and dads both have to work. Good luck with whatever happens.

Answer 5

I'd say another one bit the dust....why do you men put up with women that you don't love or that don't love you? You can't tell me that it's because of the children. Your children are going to grow up and leave and you will still be in the same situation. I talk to a guy friend that is in kinda the same situation and if I could, I would make him the happiest person alive. But he's afraid to loose his grown boys over the situation. In one way, I don't blame him but in another way, don't you think his boys would want him to be happy and not just stay there for other reasons?

Answer 6

Wow poor guy if this is true she is a bad mother and wife I am a stay at home mom and I cook clean care for my kids do all the Aron's and keep myself looking fine every day she should be doing her job and caring for the duties in the home so talk to her tell her it has to change or else.Because there is no way you can be happy with her doing this best of luck to you.

Answer 7

Do what's best for your baby, and apparently...she's not the best for your baby. Do you have family that could help raise your child while you're at work? Or do you know of a good daycare you could take your child to? The only excuse I could think of is maybe she has postpartum depression...how old is your baby? I think you know what's right to do in this situation and I wish you the best.

Answer 8

I think you already know the answer to this one. It would be very hard for you to work and raise the baby by yourself, but it's either that or her parents will raise your child, which my guess is they are doing now. Good luck to you. Your baby is very lucky to have a Dad like you - don't give up!!

Answer 9

How old is your child? Your wife may be suffering with post-partum depression. So first off, she should see a Dr.
On the other hand, she is being enabled by her mother to do this and get away with it. If things don't change, you may need to try counseling, and then an attorney.

Answer 10

No, brother... in God's eyes , divorce is only accepttable if she commits adultery or if she requests for it on the fact that she is a non believer and could not cope with your belief. I'm answering from a Biblical point of view because I'm a Christian and I believe God's way is the best for me and you. I believe you need to be more patient and persevere. You see, it will not do good for baby to be separate from you or even her. Its best he is brought up by both of you. You see, brother, as long as she is not asking for divorce, keep her...and pray for her. God can help you. One important point : you only dump her when LOVE for her has died. And I hope, it hasn't...so be PATIENT .. even if takes twentry years or more.. as long as you both are still in love with each other. God Bless.