Why would my friend not work when she is healthy? She says she is "too stressed" to work after 3 years

Question

My friend (female) is 24. About 3 years ago she worked at a telemarketing company and ended up leaving there saying that she was too stressed from work. She collected disability and then met a guy on the internet and moved out of state and married him after knowing him 6 months.

She has been married 2 years and every time I talk to her she says she is doing "a little better" and is still not working. She says they have no money to even have a car, but she can't work because of her health. I have seen her many times since she moved and she acts and looks 100% healthy. I asked her if she went to the doctor and she says she hasn't been to see one in years. Her husband wants her to get a job, but she says she is not healthy enough to work. Also her sister left her job 10 months ago saying she was "stressed" and is still on disability now too.

I am confused why she wouldn't be working after 3 years, could she still be collecting disability checks and maybe thats why she won't work?

Answer 1

She's obviously not healthy. If she's been able to collect disability checks at any point then there was something wrong with her. She may not be giving you all the details but you can't collect disability for no reason.

If it was stress she may have a mental health problem and may benefit from talking to a therapist. It's hard to say with such little information.

If you're concerned about her you could try asking non-confrontational questions to help you understand why it is she isn't working and possibly help her get the sort of medical help she needs to get better. If it isn't something that can get better you can be a good friend and let her talk about it whenever she needs.

Answer 2

Many people look and act 100% healthy but still have a disability that prevents them from working. They could have: Mental Health Issues, Fibromyalgia, post traumatic stress, and on and on. Her problem could be very real, as her sister's may be, (problems can be hereditary/environmental from childhood, etc.)

Disability checks are nice, but they certainly are not enough money to live on comfortably. Many on disability ride the bus because they can not afford to own a car. Some have to depend on relatives for financial assistance, support, etc. The majority of people would rather work than live that way, unless something 'real' is going on.

I would suggest that you, as a friend, focus on her well being more than her job searching. This may even lower her stress to a more comfortable level. Having support from friends is important. When she is able/ready to work, she and a doctor are the only ones qualified to make that decision. Just be her friend.

Answer 3

Too stressed to work after 3 years? Come on, get real! I have worked full time for the last 25 years, and I now own my own medical transcription business, but you don't hear me complaining. Sounds like she is either lazy and doesn't want to work, or is depressed, or both. My husband's ex-wife claims she has emphysema due to second-hand smoke and therefore cannot work. Yet, last year we ran into her and her son at the County fair. We passed by her (she didn't see us) and she looked fine - completely healthy. We then went back by where she was and stopped to talk to her and my step-son. As soon as she saw us, all of a sudden she became droopy-eyed, started huffing and puffing like she couldn't catch her breath, and acting is if she were exhausted. She claimed they had been at the fair for about 4 hours and we noticed her portable oxygen tank that she supposedly carries with her was nowhere in sight. How can a person with emphysema walk around in the dust and dirt of a County fair for 4 hours? Some people are just good at scamming the system.

Answer 4

Stress. Not many of us in the US know real stress. We don't have warlords dividing up our food; we don't have famines or droughts that leave us all starving. Most of us wake up wealthier than 80% of the world. We have indoor plumbing. Our running water is safe, usually.

Stress, to me, is being inside a tower of the WTC on 9/11; fighting in Iraq. It's not customers yelling at me on the phone. Yeah, I'll get upset, but that's life. Your friend has convinced herself, probably, she's crippled. Unless she's blatantly working the system, that is. She should get some counseling and then get to work.

Heck, if I could stay home and get free money, I'd be sorely tempted too.

Answer 5

She's a lazy bum who is about to get whats coming to her.