i want a baby am i too young?

Question

im 20 years old. i live with my partner and have been with him for 3.1/2 years. i have always loved children and over the past year i have really wanted a baby of my own. I tried to put it to the back of my mind and focus my mind on other things. Over the past 4 weeks all i can think about ,talk about and watch on tv is about babies and i desperatly want my own. do you think im stupid? or too young? ive talked about this with my b/f should i talk to my parents first and get there advice?

Answer 1

your maternal instinct is kicking in.20yrs old is definately not too young,i'm 26 with 4 children and i'm a qualified care assistant,so having children never stopped my career,the timing sounds right.if your boyfriend feels the same then go for it. as for asking your parents,why? its not as though its a one night stand,i'm sure they'd be happy for you.good luck

Answer 2

It's not that you are too young, but it seems you don't have all the right things in place to care for the child. A secure home and two loving parents. Make sure you b/f really wants a child and if the two of you agree on that, then getting married first is the way to go. That gives some security to the new baby when he/she arrives.
You'll also want to start saving money as it is costly to have a child.
To get the real experience, consider babysitting a relative or friends' child for a week. Make it 24/7, so you really get the feeling of what it is to be responsible for a little human. You could also volunteer in a nursery school and see how you find that.

Answer 3

I don't think you're stupid or too young necessarily, but it's important to try to think through why you wnat a baby now particulalry...Bringing up a child is a huge enterprise, and not something you should rush into...its also not ideal to do it on your own if you have a choice, so think about what support you might need... You talk about 'the last 4 weeks' .....has anything happened in your life to trigger this? You should always take advice, talk to people with experience and why not ask your parents, you would probably value their support and maybe help at some stage.... Whatever you decide, you've still got masses of time, so don't rush in until you've mulled things over a little more.....hope that's helpful, whatever you decide, good luck!

Answer 4

You're not too young but you must make sure this is really what you want. Try borrowing a friends child for a day or two that'l give you an idea of how fun it is and how much hard work they are!
What does your partner think about it? you should talk it through throughly and mention it too your parents although really the decision is for the pair of you to make.
Also think about your finacial position and did you have a plans traveling, career, new house etc babies are expensive...
I have been trying for a child for a year or so now, and around the age of 20 i really wanted one but got put off by other people saying i was too young etc, i only wish id gone with my heart.
Think things through carefully but life can sometimes be suprisingly short for some people so if its what you want go for it as none of us know the future so make it yours•:*¨¨*:• •:*¨¨*:•

Answer 5

I was 28 when I had my first, In a way I regret waiting so long (we had been married 11 years) I was worried I would be an old mum. Since having him I have met young and old mums and all seem to get on OK, I would say if its what you and your partner want then go for it - at least you will be young enough to enjoy your grandkids too! And maybe great grandkids as well! Best of luck its the hardest thing youll ever do but also the most fun.

Answer 6

Yes i personally think it is to young!

Have you spent much time around kids? It's not all joy and laughter, plus the expense.

You should concentrate on getting yourself stable and able to support yourself before you add a child to the equation. Remember it will be your responsibility for the rest of your life or until they are old enough to move out of your house (judging by the way things are now that will be age 40).

You need to find out who you are and enjoy life before you do something so important as become a mother. Give yourself time - you are 20 years old, whats wrong with a few more years of Independence to grow and bloom as a human being before becoming a parent!.

I am 30 years old in a long term relationship (9 years) and we are enjoying the ability to travel - sleeping in at the weekends and go out to the movies when ever we want (don't miss out on things like that - you are only young once).

This is just my opinion, your an adult and have every right to have a baby, all I wanted to say was "Stop and think".

I hope you make the right decision for you! Good luck with what ever you decide.

Answer 7

No you are not too young for children, I don't care what anybody says nobody is too young. What matters is whether you have the emotional maturity and stability to bring a child into this world, nurture them, protect them, and teach them right from wrong.

I am sure there will be plenty of people who will answer this question with anacdotes about teenagers who they have known have children and go on to be "poor" parents, and yes I have known a few myself. But I also know plenty of people in their late twenties and thirties whose parenting skills leave alot to be desired.

I was 20 when I fell pregnant with my son and went on to have a daughter 13 months later. But despite having two very difficult pregnancies and my son being diagnosed with Autism at the age of two, I have been commended on my parenting on numerous occasions. In fact at the age of 26 I have just finished a Nursing course, while my husband stayed at home and my children are contented, well adjusted and have achieved alot more than most children their age.

My advice is don't ask "am I old enough?" ask "are we both ready to be parents?. If the answer is yes then I wish you all the luck in the world.

Answer 8

Yes,I think you should talk it over with your parents.It's a great responsibility bringing a child into this world ,and takes a lot of thinking about.
To be honest, at my age , to me, you are still a baby yourself,without any dis-respect,and you know you have so much time in front of you.
I would honestly suggest that if you really think you want a baby,ask a friend who has a child if you could look after it for the day and even the night if possible.I think you will change your mind.You will be so limited all of a sudden as to what you can do and where you can go.Honestly darling do yourself a favour and wait,I'm sure your mum and dad will agree with me.

Answer 9

i had my son at 19 years old (I'm now nearly 21) and he was planned,me and my partner gave it alot of thought before we went along with anything..bringing a baby into the world is a very important decision and you cant just take a baby back to a shop if you don't like it. you and your partner need to have a loooong think and talk about EVERYTHING!! good and bad about having a baby,there is plenty of time as your still very young..
my opinion is that you do really need to be talking to ur boyfriend about this,not us..and if your lucky enough to have parents that you feel comfortable talking about this with,talk to them too..
having children are the best thing in the world, but it is also very difficult..please think of the child before you make any decisions
i wish you all the best hunni
I'm sure you will make the right choice!! ;)

Answer 10

According to your body you are not too young because girls can get pregnant at nine! Your body is at it's optimum time for bearing a child. The chances reduce as you get older.

You should do what you feel is best. Everybody is different. Having a child young means that you will have your freedom when others may be trying for their first baby. The main question to ask yourself is are you and your bf ready. A baby is not a past time. It's for life.

Answer 11

do chat to your parents. ask them for their opinion. remember it is only their opinion and they cannot tell you what you can and cannot do, but do listen to them with full respect. they will probably tell you that you are too young. the reason they will tell you this is because when you look back on life 20 is very young. when you are 20 you feel quite mature and able to make valid decisions for your own life, and you are. just be mindful of your future. you have a long long life to live, and 20 is when doors are just opening up for you. being a parent myself i see only now how much more difficult (but yes, very very fun and fulfilling) life is once you become a parent. i always tell people to write a list of at least 20 things you want to do before you die. then attempt as many of them as possible before you have a child because once you start your family life you cannot go back to the freedom of a childless person. enjoy your freedom first. some people thrive when they have children young, and some people regret it for the rest of their lives. see if you can visit a family member or friend who has a young child (for a week) and see how you feel afterwards. offer to volunteer at a nursery for a week (one with babies) and again see how you feel. good luck with your decision. its a big one.