Should I confront her? I found calls from my wife to a "friend"!?

Question

I was looking at our cell bill the other day because our daughter ran the bill up to over $300. Well in my research I found where my wife had made call to a guy that she had feeling for over a year ago. (We were having problems and it was a guy she worked with, he knew of her situation and he gave her a nice long kiss one day in the hallway at work. I am sure it was one of those nights when she was working until we hours.) Anyway when I saw the number it made me suspecious so I checked past bill and it seems that she is calling him about every month. Don't know how many times they talk at work. He still works for the same company but is at a different location. I want to know if I should confront her or wait until I get more evidence?

What if I do confront her, there is something going on but she denies it. Will my confrontation just make her be more careful? There are other things that have made me think, but not enough time or space to put in here.

Answer 1

Some statistics say that 85% of women who feel their lover is cheating are correct and 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. If you have suspicions, consider some of the following and be as impartial as possible:

Sudden increase in time away from home
Decreased sexual interest with you
Cheating spouse is often distracted and day dreaming
Cheating husband or wife is often “unavailable” while at work
Cheating spouse attends new functions outside of work and wants to go without you
Cell phone calls from you are not returned in timely fashion
Cheating spouse leaves house or goes to other rooms to talk on the telephone
Cheating spouse uses computer alone and secretly
Cheating spouse asks about your schedule more often than usual
Mileage on car is high yet he / she reports only short distance errands
Clothes smell of perfume or cologne
Cheating spouse gets his / her laundry done independently
Unexplained payments on bank statements
Cheating spouse has more cash on hand without accountability
Cell phone bills contain calls with long duration
Cheating spouse now has a phone card but never used one before
Cheating wife or husband has unexplained receipts in wallet or purse
Cheating spouse has suspicious phone voice-mail messages
Cheating spouse has suspicious cell phone numbers stored or dialed
Internet web browser history list (this is a record of web sites visited) contains unusual sites
Cheating spouse begins to use new or free e-mail account
Cheating spouse is suddenly deleting e-mail messages
I hope that you are wrong suspecting her but watch and talk with her about your feelings toward her. Remember that the cheating mostly is a symptom not the cause of the marital problem.

Answer 2

IMO, do NOT confront her. What "evidence" of an affair do you really have? Two phone calls in two months? I call my cable company that much. If they work together, isn't it possible that these calls are work related? What time of day were the calls made? how long did they last?
What would confronting her w/ this really accomplish? If she's not cheating, she'll be angry that you don't trust her and it could cause huge problems with your relationship. If she IS cheating, she'll deny it and you still won't know anything more than you know right now ..which let's face it, is nothing.
So bringing this up to her gets you nowhere.

I'm not saying to stick your head in the sand and ignore this. But, if you really believe she's cheating, then you need to wait until you have something concrete to confront her about. Don't let your imagination run away with you here...been there, done that and all it will do is make you miserable

Answer 3

Tell her you were looking at the cell phone bill,for obvious reason,
and noticed her calling the other guy. Tell her to stop or get out.
Then the ball is in her court. Let her know that you do not appreciate her taking discussions about her life outside the marriage with this guy. She'll tell you that they are just friends.
That may or not be true but you have the right to demand her fidelity. If she is not willing to do that show her the door.

Answer 4

Use a highlighter on the bill, and dont say anything do this for a couple of months. Wait for new evidence, and see if she brings up the phone calls first. Id she notices the brite yellow markings on her friends phone number, she will realize that you know something.

Answer 5

Oh yeah you need to talk to her because you have every right to know what is going on. Now your talking about waiting for more evidence what more do you need really. You dont want to wait for the unthinkable do you? Good luck I hope everything works out and that it just so happens to be some kind of miss understanding.

Answer 6

Keep copies of the bills. Save the copies. See what she does when you confront her with the evidence. Or, call Cheaters. Set her up. If this is all innocent, then why she is tring to hide it.There really is no such thing as a "friend" between heterosexual people.

Answer 7

I would bring it up to her...but maybe do it by saying....you know we need to go over this cell bill....go get it and say something like " How could our daughter run up over $300.00? Oh who's number is this? Then let her open the can of worms.....that way it does not look like you are calling her a cheat or just being all paranoid.....best of luck

Answer 8

Ask her. Let her know that you have seen the cell bill. Maybe surprise her one of those long nights when she's working late with dinner. Then she wont call him on a monthly basis, and just come home to you. :)

Good Luck.

Answer 9

You won't rest until you find out about this so go ahead and explain how you noticed this. Let he know you were not checking up on her, but now you wonder if you should be checking on her. Watch out - she may get her own phone and number so you don't know who she is calling.

Answer 10

What is your intention? Do you want to build your relationship with her or get evidence so you can have the satisfaction of being right? If you want a relationship with her ask her about but try to stay calm.