Men vs, Women?

Question

I must preface this by saying that I mean no injury to either sex by asking this I am merely courious. Please do not take this as an indication of me being sexist for I am not. But here goes:
Men have also been I a position of power over women, but why has it been like that? The only logical conclusion that I can come to is that men are just inherently better then women, so from the very begining men have had a physical, intellectual, etc. advantage over women, and thus have taken the dominate position. Thus question could also be extended to other races. The white race has always been dominate, so is there an intrisic aspect of the white race that makes them better? Or has it been mere luck that the white race and the male sex have succeded in subjuagating other sexes and races?
Just some question so stew over

Answer 1

Men are genetically programed to be dominate. It has to do with testosterone levels. That is also the reason some men are more over baring then others and why men on the average are physically stronger then women. As for intelligence men have no advantages. Women manipulate men more then they will ever admit. As for one race having an advantage over another, I think that has to do with social evolution. You take two children of different races and raze them together in the same manner and you will fined little difference in who and what they become.

Answer 2

First off, having 'power' over someone doesn't mean you are better than them. Second of all, Women do have a different kind of power and some are very good at using it. Someone once said to me, men are the head of the family, but women are the neck and whatever way the woman turns, the man is bound to follow. So sometimes you have to look a little deeper to find who is really incharge :)

Another point... men are physically stronger, but no there is no significant difference in intellect between men and woman. Women don't have as much of a disadvantage of testosterone interfering with their intellect though. If there were more women leaders, there most likely would be less wars. And women are stronger than men biologically. Which means more males are born than females but females outnumber males as they age. This isn't just because of enviornment. Females are biologically stronger because evolutionary wise they need to survive childbirth and be there for their offspring so they can survive.

As society becomes more advanced the need for physically strong people becomes less and less. We need more brain muscle. If you look up the statistics of female/male ratio for college students you will see women make up something like 60% of college students. Females are certainly working up the ladder. I think one of the biggest reasons women have been held behind is because they are generally the caretakers. We are the ones that have taken care of others so that they can work their way up the ladder!

Answer 3

It is generally accepted among scientific circles that females are, biologically speaking, the superior sex. Just ask yourself who lives longer on average, men or women. The only thing men excel in is strength and that comes from their having been bequeathed all that testosterone. For many eons we have lived in brawn based societies where power resides in physical strength or its mechanical stand-ins. Long ago before the patriarchal societies arose there was a matriarchal world dominated by females who wielded powers more subtle than the purely physical. Who knows? In some distant future age these eternal earth goddesses may yet return.

Answer 4

Well I always thought that women were known to have sharper senses than men and to pay attention to detail much better. They also make more sensible decisions at a younger age compared to men. They develope faster and mature faster than men as well. Men have physical strength and that is what gives them the majority of power over women. They are able to withstand and endure more physically. Look it up, women have sharper eyesight, sense of smell, hearing, and intuition. They are also more in touch with their emotions and sensitivities which makes them fully human. I don't know much about the white race, ( I am caucasion) but I do know that a good genetic mix makes for a better gene pool ratio. Genetics have a lot to do with intelligence as well.

Answer 5

The origin of the male and female stereotypes is that pre civilisation (and early civilisation), a woman's only function was to breed. She would, if she could, breed continuously until death. Therefore, men had much more opportunity to develop other talents.

Answer 6

Then explain the Oprah phenomenon! She has to be the most influential, powerful person living! She surpasses any man's accomplishments, for she can casually say that she dislikes something, and massive people will not buy that item/ product. Or, in its reverse, she can say that she "loves" something, and rates of its sales sky rockets!! What man has that kinda control over the nation?

Answer 7

As far as men being inherently better? No. More inclined to power? I would have to say yes.

Answer 8

Women may actually have the capacity for higher intelligence than men do, but if Nature designed them with a leaning toward intellect and finer physical features and designed the development of "maleness" with a leaning to the building of muscles and physical mass; the imbalance in power has simply been a matter of women's often-enough superior intellect not being much of match for brut strength.

If larger frames and more muscles and upper body strength are viewed as superior then I will concede that men could be seen as superior in that way. At the same time, for people who view more complexity and refinement as superior, I would compare men to the old cars that were all mechanical while one may compare women's physiology with newer, more sensitive, cars that have replaced some of the old mechanical parts with electronics. (Bear in mind that I'm talking about the evolution of the sexes and not of modern-day men and women as they are now).

Those big old gas-guzzlers of the 1960's often held up very well in collisions, and they were simple enough for most non-mechanic-drivers to solve mechanical problems with a simple tweek of the butterfly choke or some other simple adjustment; but they were not good for the world because they used too much gasoline and polluted the air. They had those ridiculous grills and hood ornaments that were said to be aimed at sexuality too. Those cars are now a thing of the past, though. Today's cars are smaller and more refined and more advanced. I compare today's cars to women.

If you go way back in history when people just marauded around and killed people and made themselves emperor until someone else killed them you can see how brut force would have been considered superior. That was then, though. This is now.

My point is that first a person must value brut strength to see men as superior. Also, if you consider the roots of the evolution of the genders you can see how even today women have certain evolutionary advantages while men continue to have the advantage (when it is an advantage) of larger frames, upper body strength, more muscular builds, and even more ruggedness out in the wild or in cold weather. You can also see how men would have managed to dominate.

One would have to be a woman in 2006 to understand how even today there is biological hardwiring in both men and women that places the feminine woman under some form of attack almost all the time. Female sexuality has been said to be shown in the example of how in the barnyard if there is one female chicken that is different from the rest all the others will attempt to peck her to death in order to prevent the male from noticing her. There is that element of female sexuality that some women who have not grown beyond their more primitive urges still use against other women. There is also frequently the wish/urge that men have to make sure a woman never shows him up or makes him feel inferior to her. These hardwiring issues mean that many women live under some form of someone's trying to keep her down, oppressed, hidden, and out of power a good part of the time.

I don't think you can generalize about white men having run the show on "other races". To the best of my understanding, Asian people have held their own for the most part. The "other race" that has been an issue in the United States is, of course, Africans or later African Americans. The fact that white men managed to dominate so many African Americans could be related to their being more sophisticated at taking over or more armed or more evil-minded when they went to Africa to take slaves. It could be that people in Africa at the time were not warned or prepared about what would happen to them. Another factor could be that, in general, African people often have "softer" features than many white men have; and I have always wondered if this "softer" look may have brought out the same kind of attitudes and aggression that has been used against women since the beginning of time.

If you want to extend the discussion to Nazi Germany this was another case of the population's not really being prepared and on guard until it was too late. Anyone with any common sense knows that it can be more difficult to win when taken by surprise or when dealing with someone who is capable of such evil it can throw off any dynamics normally associated with a confrontation.

Have white men been really good at being shrewd and evil and building armies? Of course. Does that make them superior? I don't think so. Anyone who knows anything about superior intelligence knows that with it usually (unless someone has been severely damaged as Hitler had been) comes a well developed sense of morality, emphathy and spirituality. With it also comes no wish to control or subordinate other people. So brut strength, abilit to commit evil, and raw aggression were probably what earned white males their place in power; but as with those old GM and Ford gas guzzlers, the awareness that size combined with lack of advancement has, for the most part, rendered most of those barbaric types of men a thing of the past.

The combination of ignorance, ability to be vicious and without conscience, high aggression, selfishness, greed, and a shrewd understanding of what it takes to take over a population should not be underestimated in terms of its effectiveness; but it also cannot necessarily be interpreted as superiority according to human values as they exist in our more enlightened times.

One other factor to point out: Science now knows that when it comes to brain development it is the mother's nurturing of her baby, and her skill at knowing how to make a baby feel secure, that is responsible for the number of brain connections made during the time from birth to about three years old. This would generally mean that whenever there have been men with higher intellects there is the good chance those intellects were built by women. One cannot forget that many mothers died in childbirth, many young boys were essentially "given" to men fairly early in their life (so their emotional development wasn't what it should have been), and there was only so much power women had even when it came to how children were raised.

The irony is that (at least in American culture, which is often a culture that is emulated in other countries) there came a time in not-so-distant history when women were expected to remain at home rearing the children while fathers went out to work. Child labor laws prevented sending children off to work at nine years old, and so American women had the chance to nurture their children without, for the most part, interference of fathers. Ironically, in their apparent lack of power, American women finally had the opportunity to be the main influence on their children's development and as a result raise a new generation of men who had a far superior morality than men in the past generally had.

Women got to influence their sons more, perhaps, than they ever had; and when those sons grew up and had power it was they who often joined women in the belief that women are not inferior.

With all due respect, the logic you used in forming your "logical conclusion" was insufficient. I didn't have to stew over this. I grew up knowing it. I just had to type it for you because with all the progress women have made there is still some enlightening that must be done.

Answer 9

cuz boys r just better

Gangster NOT

Answer 10

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Why do men always cheat?


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Answer
I beleive that many young men cheat of their girlfiends and wives.thay are not ready to have commitments and they wantto feel that they can go sleeping with anyfemail abut they c;laim to have wives or girlfirends for security purposes. they don't want a time to come wmeh they don't have any women for them. I feel that we pweople from all genders need to realize the danger associated with multisexual partners. life is such a sweet thing to be treasured especially when one is in good health.

Some people cheat on their partners. What are some of their reasons for cheating? 1. No longer feeling satsified/stimulated in current relationship. Too cowardly to end relationship or is concerned about financial/living situation if they break up. 2. No longer interested in monogamy, likes various sex partners. 3. Craves the initial excitement and illicitness of a "secret" affair. 4. Needs to feel desired, and thinks current partner doesn't desire them.

Not all men cheat, though, so don't view every man as a potential cheater. You need to trust someone to have a good relationship, and remember that a cheater's actions are fully their responsibility.


Answer
MEN CHEAT BECAUSE THEY ARE SINGLE MINDED. ITS TRUE, THEY CAN ONLY THINK OF ONE THING AT ONCE, THEY DONT STOP TO THINK OF CONSIQUENCE. MY BOYFRIEND DOESNT CHEAT BECAUSE HE KNOWS IM ON TO HIM, I READ HIS TEXT MESSAGES, I GO THROUGH HIS DRAWERS AND MOST OF ALL, IM BEST FRIENDS WITH HIS "GOING OUT PALS" SO I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HES UPTO. BASICALLY, IF YOUR MAN KNOWS HE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT, HE WILL CHEAT, AND THATS THAT. ALTHOUGH IM QUITE A PRETTY GIRL, MY BOYFRIEND IS FOREVER RUBBING IT IN MY FACE ABOUT OTHER GIRLS AND HOW "FIT" THEY ARE. HOWEVER I HAVE NEVER MET ONE MAN WHO DEOSNT DO THAT.


An Addition For The Rights Of All Men:

Simply because you have never met one man who doesn't cheat, does not allow generalisation.

Not all men are cheaters, and I suggest, that even with seemly psychotic surveillance you have over your boyfriend, that you start meeting different types of men. What sort of a relationship is it when you spy on him??

Try not to forget, both genders cheat. However the crazy women who get hung up on men cheating write about it on websites, the CLEVER CRAZY women simply call an abroad talking clock from his mobile and run up £5000 bill.


Answer
Because we are men. By the way, all men will cheat given the oportunity. Men that don't cheat probably aren't all that attractive to be honest. Women should understand that in most cases there is no lack of love for the wife. In fact if wives would find the occasional partner for their men then marriages would be in much better shape.



not to be rude but thats terrible. U get married because ur partner is the only one u want. Because u love and adore her. If u want to screw sumone else then she obviously isnt the one u want. If u love her then y would u want sumone else. The love u have for her should be enough. If my husband..(future speaking) were to suggest we get a woman in our love life i would think i wasnt enough. I might want to do it because i love him and want him happy but in the long run id be hurt that he wanted sumone else. And if it is ok for the men to cheat then its fine for women.If ur wife slept with another man and said she still loved u how would u react???...i do believe it is possible to love sumone and make a mistake with sumone else..but thats wat it is ..a mistake ..not sumthin that should be fine to do.If sleeping with other ppl would help marriages then there wouldnt be so many divorces. .....chelsea


Answer
thanks for making a generalization. thats really good for my self esteem, as well as all of the other males out there who truely care about one girl and do not cheat. ill admit though, many younger guys cheat because they think they can get away with it, or dont really take the relationship seriously enough. but not all guys cheat.


Answer
Guys cheat because many of them increasingly feel powerless in a society that is giving women more rights & powers in the domestic & public spheres.

Women are assuming positions previously allocated to men, & as a consquence, are behaving more like the "macho male" - the man who is burly & loud and can get away with anything.


Answer
People from all genders should have equal rights to bahave and engage in whatever jobs they are willing to.I know they'r are some men who don't cheat on their wives or girlfriends. It is not that these men are not tempted to do so, they just sacrifice their feelings because they respect the women they call wives or girlfriends.Knowing that they have fathers, brothers, sons, uncles and all other male relatives females are left to care and cry for their loved ones who don't seem to realize that it is dangerous to go sleeping around with any females that they come across.I wish men can realize the seriousness of STDs and especially AIDs which is a killer. It is not that men cannot control their sexual activities, they just need to be disciplined and desire to stick to one sex partner at a time


Answer
I don't know. I suppose you could ask yourself why all women cheat. Now your prolly saying "that's not fair, we don't all cheat"! And then relize, you now know what it's like to be male. Let's think before we talk people!



Answer
It's only cheating because that's the term WOMEN use for a man acting on his natural instincts.

--> No way... WOMEN and MEN both use the term cheating. I'm assuming that you are a guy who wrote this. You used the word "cheating" in your statement. If cheating wasn't wrong then the actual word CHEATING wouldn't have been made up. EVERYONE knows that it is wrong. It's cheating. If people agree to polygamy then it's okay... but everyone KNOWS that cheating is wrong. The only reason people do cheat (in the sexual way) is because it feels good physically. With guys... it's WAY more sexual. It goes all the way back to genetics. The male body has a penis and it feels good to get touched ALL the time. Unlike other mammels, they mate for pleasure and not during other mammels mating season. I guess taking a whole year of university courses on genetics makes you realize alot more. But that is NO excuse. Natural instincts is being horny. NOT CHEATING. Cheating is doing something morally wrong... because once you even use the word that you cheated... you know that something was wrong. Everyone knows that if you are in a relationship with someone and you are supposed to be true to eachother, that getting it on with someone else is wrong. Try to get it striaght with your "natural instincts" before you go jabbering about how its a term that only women use.


Answer
Look, for every man who cheats there is a women involved as well. Besides that, anyone who cheats (man or woman) is a dirt bag. Have the personal integrity to honour your committment to your partner. If you can't do that then don't get married.




Answer
I think some men are chronic cheaters. Once a cheat, always a cheat. It is like alcoholism, they can point a finger to blame something, but if a man is predispositioned to that, it is in his genes. I acually just recently read on MSN about an infidelity gene that has been found in voles (those little critters) One was a meadow vole (mate w/ only one partner) and another kind (forgot name) that mates w/ any vole. After altering that particular gene in the "cheating vole", he stuck by his partner, even when put in another compartment for over a day with another vole that was "ready". In animals, only 5% mate for life (don't cheat), that means most of nature cheats. WE ARE PART OF NATURE. We have brains that are superior and realize that fidelity with a life partner is the right thing (moral, religious, etc). Just like an alcoholic that knows it is not acceptable to drink like an alcoholic and lies and covers it up and denies it, they have the gene for that and it is hard to fight nature. Cheaters and drinkers will give reasons, but they are just excuses. I am talking about the chronic cheater that has good sex at home, but wanders anyway---not someone that is actually deprived at home and has a true good reason to be "looking". My husband is a chronic cheater and has this whole system of lies and denial. He manufactures out of town "tournaments" for his favorite sport that some "mystery friend" invites him to attend, etc. I found out they didn't exist, it was just a ploy to go be with his latest woman he found by posting on dating websites. I do not get enuf sex, we have sex about 1 or 2 X a week. I'd prefer 3 or 4 and I do everything (oral, you name it, I am a tiger in the bedroom). He admits that he just cannot stop himself from looking and finding women. He agrees that our sex life is the best part of our marriage. It is truly like an addiction. We have been married 4 years (we are upper 30's) and due to this problem of infidelity not getting better after giving him more chances than he has deserved, I am filing divorce. I cannot endure the pain of this any longer, I realize it will never change. He says he has stopped, but he hasn't, he just covers it up. To be sure, I wanted to check this out and I invented a "women" that posted aresponse to one of his dating ads and sure enuf he answered right away. I strung him along even to the point of arranging an out of town meeting. Sure enough, he told me he was invited by one of his friends (his "friends" never have names),to a soccer tournament in another city on exactly the same date this "invented woman" was going there. He also told her on email he was going there and wanted to meet her. It was arranged w/ hotel and everything. He packed his bags and left. (hehehehe). This was only 3 weeks after he promised to give our marriage 100%. I did that to see if he was really giving 100% or if it was just another "scam" to keep me happy for a while. I needed to know before I invested my heart again. He says he loves me and these women are only for fun. His posts on the websites always say he is looking for a serious long term relationship. I really do not know what is in his head, but he lets the small head do all the thinking, that is for sure.


Answer
look at nature:

1 bull, a herd of cows;
1 rooster, a hen house full of hens, etc.
That is the worst argument I have read for a while because:






BULLS DONT PRODUCE MILK!!!!
ROOSTERS CAN'T LAY EGGS!!!!

Answer
The ones who do cheat are thinking, selfishly, more about their own comfort and needs. A more mature way to deal with "problems" in a relationship is facing your partner and talking about the problem to hopefully find a solution. Given that the partner sitting at home is open to discussion, then I'd say cheating is a selfish and cowardly act. Men don't HAVE to do anything.


Answer
Men stray outside of long-term relationships to remember what it was like to be desirable and free. "Schedules" and routine destroy self image.


Answer
Men cheat because nature drives them to. In nature, the male species tries to spread its "seed" to as many females as possible. Females on the other hand are driven to turn down most suiters until the ideal one comes along. This process is known as natural selection and it ensures that the strongest genes are passed on to the next generation; thus ensuring maximum survivability of the species. Now ladies, before you start hunting me down, please understand; I am not making excuses for men. They also have a little something called free-will. This "control" is what seperates humans from most other species.

I dont condone cheating, but I understand where the underlying desire comes from.

Hope this helps.....

--> agreed. Natural selection does play a big part... HOWEVER... we are all human. we all know what is right and what is wrong. thats where the horniess comes into play. if a guy wants it THAT badly he doesnt need to cheat, he can do it himself.. its called masterbation!!! this moral aspect of human beings is what makes someone humane and inhumane. guys think they can get away with things because of genes... NOOOOOOOOOPE. guys get horny. girls get "popular" or "feel attractive" by getting used... or vice versa. natural selection takes into the part of being horny and checking out other people. being selfish and shallow brings up the part of cheating. guys can control their *****.


Answer
I recently ended a relationship after finding out the man I was seeing was married (for less than 1 year...how sad). I had absolutely no clue he was married, but I really do feel for his wife. This whole situation has really opened my eyes.

However, I do not believe it's in a man's "nature" to cheat. I think that is a pathetic excuse. I think both men and women have control over their actions. There will always be people we meet that we find attractive. A smart man would put that woman in his memory bank, but not all men are smart. We definately need to accept the fact that even after marriage our spouse may see a woman that triggers their sexual desires (this happens to us women also). But a real man that loves his wife would never act on these desires. I've been reading a lot about cheating spouses and it seems women have the same problem. I think it's important for us to share our feelings in relationships. If your partner isn't cutting it in the bedroom either let them know about it or let them go!


Answer
Not all men cheat. That's brazen statement. The ones that don't cheat...only think about it...a lot.




Answer
I have the theory that many men cheat because the women they are with allow it. We teach others how to treat us. If you discover your man has cheated and you take him back it is just like discovering he likes to gamble and giving him tickets to Las Vegas.

If a woman is feeling insecure or has a poor self-image, all she needs is for someone to flirt with her. She can walk away feeling better about herself. For some reason, men need to actually go through with the act to feel better about themselves. Something about the performance gives their ego an added boost.

Young ones who cheat do it because they'r young and are really not ready for commitment. Middle-aged ones do it because they are either losing their hair, gaining a midsection, or generally feeling old. It's either another, usually younger, woman or a convertible. Either way they look foolish and they don't even realize it!


Answer
I am not truly sure to be honest. All I know is that I found out last night I was the other woman. I was horrified at first, but then I thought about it. The original girlfriend happened to stop by as I was snuggled up with him on the couch. I believed I was the one and only, I'd even go as far as to say he made me believe I was "the one". I am attractive and slender, and quite a few years younger than he. She looked a few years older than him, quite plump, and very plain. Maybe it is true, and I was a piece of meat, or perhaps she was security. He knew that he didn't have to make an effort to keep her, where with me, there was a risk due to other men finding me desirable. I think he was sincere in his feelings for me, or I'd like to think so anyway, but I think she was "safe". There was no chance of him getting hurt by her. So, instead of him breaking it off with her for me, he kept her just in case we didn't work out. Thats my theory for what its worth.


Answer
To the people who left answers: You guys make me sick! I can't believe after 20 years of marriage you would consider cheating just because age has lowered her sex drive! This has left me without respect for a lot of men! If a man knew how painful it is to a women when their man cheats, and they claim to love them. It's simple THEY WONT CHEAT if you love someone why would you do something you know would hurt them soooo badly? why?


Answer
Men who cheat are immature and selfish. They do not respect themselves nor anyone else involved. Some do it for fun and others seek approval of their peers.

That's just silly! People (notice I didn't say "men") cheat (I hate that word) because that is their nature. Contrary to popular belief, there are no animals that don't engage in poligamus sexual relationships. Not even dolphins or swans or whatever else you've been told. There are animals who mate for life but they're getting lots on the side, too. I think people who make a huge deal out of it are really immature and selfish. Love and sex are not mutually exclusive!


Answer
not all men cheat. its just the ones with the option to who do. I never pictured myself as a cheater and never did. Although once given the opportunity (going to college) i did without hesitation, regardless of my 3 year relationshjp, although my girlfriend and i had gotten in a huge argument that nigh. I felt really bad about it afterwards and wish i hadnt but i think it was chris rock, maybe dave chapelle i cant remember one of those two, he said

"men are only as faithful as their options"

which is sad to say but i think that is true for the most part.


Answer
most men have low self esteem but won't admit it. and having alot of women give them an ego boost. until men learn to be truely happy with who they are they will continue to cheat and continue to find some way to blame it on the woman.


Answer
I believe men cheat because partners are more available than ever. Also, the roles of men and women have been changing...women are more in the workforce and are more aware of the cheating that is going on. I really think that men are going to get a lot more sex than they bargained for...women are cheating more themselves. I think the person who said that all men would cheat if the circumstances were good is absolutely correct. But, men need to realize that all women would also cheat if the circumstances were right. The difference between a man's cheating and a women's cheating is that women are a lot more selective about who they would cheat with! No "nice" girl would ever tell that to a man's face...all she would get for that talk is a kick the the curb, but a girl would cheat too.


Answer
Man cheat because they are selfish,i am married with 3 children, and discovered my husband had been cheating as devastating as it was to me we are still married but i dont fully trust him at all and probably never will. if man were to do half of the things women do as far as raising children, wahsing, cleaning, cooking, etc they wouldnt have time to cheat but because they tend leave everything to us, they have so much free time to do whatever they want. CHEAT then they want to beg for forgiveness and cry like babies for what they have done. idiots. i see it as he has a problem and i am confident in who i am as a person,wife & mother so my children keep me going. not him....he has a lot of proving to do to me before he even can come close to regaining my respect and trust back for him. i do love him but i am not stupid either. my eyes are WIDE OPEN now. and the woman was just as stupid to believe him i dont blame her i just feel sorry that he used her lied to us both and in the long run he is suffering because she dont want him and his wife is moving on with her children so what sense does cheating make. man are just dumb...no other explanation but dumb.... but you have to love them though...



Answer
I don't believe all men cheat. I recently had my 5 Year relationship ended because he wasn't happy and wanted to play single and persue others. He had enough respect and love (as silly as that sounds) to end it with me before starting another relationship with another girl. It still hurt but not as bad as it would if he was cheating. He also claims that if this doesn't work out then he will call me back up and see if we can't work things out but I will not allow this. How can you possibly not have enough respect for yourself to leave a man that is cheating on you or even wanting to persue other women? That trust could never be regained. I could never take back my ex-boyfriend knowing that he broke it off with me for somebody else let alone if he was cheating.

I agree with the comment men do what the woman lets them do. If you take a man back after he has cheated he will do it again. He is obviously deep down not happy with the relationship even if he doesn't know how to express it. I also believe that if a man is truly happy in a relationship he won't cheat because he has enough love, respect and free will to say no reguardless if the opportunity presented itself or not. The it is nature talk is nothing but an excuse. If men want to play the part of "macho male" try using free will and being faithful.


Answer
Men cheat because they are bored in their current relationships. They may be with the same woman for 5 years and decide that it's boring and they want some excitement. Men get bored very easily if they are not constantly doing something. Sorta like kids. Women, keep your men happy by surprising them. When he comes home for work, greet him at the door nude or have a candelight dinner. If you dont keep him interested, he'll look for another woman that will!


Answer
In response to the keep him surprised comment. It doesn't always work. I was constantly surprising my boyfriend of 5 years till the very end sexually. He said he didn't want to leave me for that - it was the drinking with his friends and going to the bar every night (and not feeling guilty about me being home or out somewhere else without him) that he wanted. So while the being bored sexually part might work for some cheaters, it's not the answer for all. There is only so much a women can do to keep her man faithful - the rest is up to him.


Answer
I think that people cheat and it's all individual.

Truthfully, I've found that in the case of both men and women, it's either one of two things, 1) a mistake, something that happened in a moment of weakness, or 2) they are unhappy in their current relationship and either want out and have decided to take the easy way out, or are having a hard time communicating about the problem with their spouse.

Another thing I've found is that I think relationships create a sense of safety and that people who cheat feel like they can now "date" from a point of strenght. When your single I think alot of people spend most of their dating time trying to find someone just to have someone their and so they choose a mate who is safe just because being single is lonely to some people, and they feel the need to hurry and get it over with and find someone ASAP. Once in a relationship though they can kind of date chosing people they might be more physically attracted to or feel is their ideal and can do so with out caring too much about rejection since they already have someone to go home to. I really think this happens in alot of cases, and I think if people were more honest with themselves and about what they want out of life then alot of cheating would end.


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Unfaithful behavior in a man is often precipitated by a perception that his spouse is bored in the bedroom, which he attributes to a lack of sexual desire on her part. Whether this perception is real or imagined, and whether the fault lies in his behavior or hers (or both), the eroding effect it can have on the relationship is brutal.

A man's self-image is largely attached to his sexual prowess... that's just how men's heads are wired. Also, a man will often feel betrayed when a woman's early, clearly expressed desire is later replaced with indifference and boredom, especially when that transition occurs shortly after marraige. The man might feel as though her earlier sexual interest was feigned or exaggerated with the specific intent to enter the security of marraige, at which time she drops the act as unnecessary.

A man might cheat in this scenario either to "get back" at his spouse, to receive the desire he feels is due him (but cheated out of by his wife), or as part of a pattern of self-destructive behavior due to a lowered self-esteem.

The solution, then, is true communication, not just talking. If a woman wants something more-- or something different-- in the bedroom, SHE MUST TELL HIM. Keeping it from him to spare embarrassment, or to spare his feelings, is poison.

I am living this scenario now.... my wife almost completely lost interest in sex shortly after marraige, despite our energetic sex life in the many months leading up to marraige. I have no doubt that she loves me, but obviously she's not pleased in the bedroom, and she won't communicate with me about it. I have tried buying talking to her, buying books, experimenting... with no improvement.

I know that cheating is wrong, and I would never do so-- I'd end the marraige first-- but it scares me to think how much I long to feel desired, and how hard it would be to turn down a woman who offered me that.


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I think there are two important reasons men cheat. One is because they are selfish and not committed. We may like to think that we are in a committed relationship, but if your man is being unfaithful, it is not in the least bit committed. Men also cheat because the women they are with allow them to. I have only been married for two years, but my husband and I have been in a "serious" relationship for nearly five. Until recently, our sex life was great, we got along great, enjoyed the same things, etc. I gave him the world, and yet, he was still unfaithful to me every time he had the chance to be. I am now seven months pregnant with our first child and recently found out that he is cheating again. This time, he says it is because he is not being satisfied at home. Well, I know that if I had done the right thing and broke it off with him the first time I caught him cheating, our lives would not be in this situation. I allowed him to continue doing it, and fooled myself into believing our marriage was getting better. Ladies, if you catch your husband (or significant other) cheating, let it go then. If he is out there being unfaithful to you, then most likely, he does not want to be in a relationship with you anyhow. If you allow him to stay, he will only do it more and it will only hurt more everytime.


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men will cheat and thats a fact and theres not a lot you can really do about it, if their gonna their gonna. im very coinsous off a cheating man. iv been with mine for just uner 2 years and i no he cheated on his previous parrtner with me and possibly several other people. he swears to me that he would never do tht 2 me because he loves me and the only other reason it happened before was because the relationship with the other meant nothing. i believe men do it when there is some thing else they want and looking for. i think that you just have to trust them (not 100%)until they give you reason not to, which is difficult i know but what else can you do? split up with every man you ever go with?


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I'm 27, F, and I have been the other woman before that the man has come to when he has problems, but all that was when I was younger and I didn't know any better. My soon-to-be husband just recently purposed to me and of course I've excepted. But I find myself going through sleepless nights trying to figure out if I really should EVER get married. I've been cheated on before, (not by my fiance), and I also watched my mother go through that emotional roller coaster with my father, so needless to say, I have a real big trust issue. I try to stop thinking about the "what if's" that constantly pop into my mind. I know that if I continue to live life that way, I'll be alone for the rest of my life because the fear that something may happen.

I don't believe that all men cheat because of the lack of sex or good sex in the relationship. In my relationship, I am the one who always wants it and trys new things in bed. I think its temptation, and I'm not quite sure why. If a man is ready to commit to marrying a woman, and has actually considered of spending what is hoped to be the rest of his life with her, then for pete's sake, MEAN IT. There is nothing in a purposal or wedding vows that states, I want to marry you, but be aware, I may not be faithful. If you men cannot look at your girlfriend, wife or soon-to-be and tell her that I'm not cheating on you or I'm not going to cheat on you because your the only person I ever want to be with, then don't try to step up to the plate, give us falso hopes and get married and expect us to believe that your the exception.

And for the men that have insecure ladies at home, If your not cheating, would it kill you just to give her some reassurance. Apparently shes feeling that way for a reason.


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I think that excuse of "it's genetic, one rooster many hens in nature, pollination theories" they are a bunch of crap. In nature that is true becuase animals were given no sense of intelligance, and in nature, women hens are "pollinated" by many roosters, so does that mena that it's only natural for women to want to be impregnated by many males? IN nature, the father shows a lot of aggression and sometimes even eats his children in the wild. Does this mean that all men are predispositioned to not love thier kids, and sometimes even have to fight off the impulse to kill them. Not at all, men that cheat show a lack of intelligence. Everyone has impulses, but unfourtunately, some men just havent practiced it. Lies, cheating, not being concerened with STD's and disease, and transmitting them to their paretners, the emotional pain they might cause, destroying not only their lives but their wife's life and childrens,....these are all signs of a very low intelligence. I think it's the same idea behind being obese, you are willing to kill yourself just for another burger that lasts 5 minutes. Not very smart. If you're going to try to tell me men believe they can't help it, well then I guess their ladies at home can't help but have many children with many guys, it's nature, and they will have to learn to deal with it. Hey, why the heck get married people! Stay single if you can't control yourself, and just be single and pollinate forever. Thats your only place in society. It's not "pimp" to cheat, it's very weak and since you can't change it you give it a style. Grow up and use the intelligence that seperates you from animals.


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Recently divorced, i am sure my ex cheated on me. However, I dont think all men cheat. I think some women and some men will cheat. The reasons are usually the person married the wrong person out of fear of being single then realise later. The person is not who you thought or its just over. To get to the point of cheating the person must be unhappy and has considered it for awhile, unless drunk. I think theres no excuse, if you want other men, dump him first and the same applies to married men. I think also when your unhappily married you want out but may not have the guts to leave so you cheat.


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When a man or a woman cheats while they are married, it is obvious that they do not love their spouse the way they used to. Another reason may also be they do not want to stay in the relationship but feels they can not get out of the marriage for some reason (i.e. presure from family, religion, don't want to looked upon as failure, so on so forth). Cheating is wrong despite the reasons. SO DON'T DO IT PEOPLE. Get out of what you are in then go for the other person. That is the chance we all have to take in life if you want something new and exciting!


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I feel the reason for men to cheat is also the same for women is that the cheater is needing something, and is lacking what they need. Love, Understanding, Trust, Committment, Sex, Fulfillment of ones self and the attention from another or could be a friend or complete stranger regardless it is exciting and some what dangerous but the outcome is that you feel OOOOOH! You know what I mean. I have cheated in the past and could not say I wouldn't do it again the fact is that sometimes in life you need to be able to take control of yourself and the situation and I have done that I have a relationship for 15 years and both of us have cheated and we know what we had to do to get over that and now we are satisfying each other and that is the big picture sometimes it takes one fling to fixed things or one fling to end it. It has work out for me to cheat. But I not saying for anyone else to cheat.


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It's a myth! Not all men cheat! It just isn't men who can cheat, but women are running a close second during these modern times. Contrary to popular belief there are some successful relationships.

Here's some news for some of you that think all men cheat and it's OK simply because it's expected of them .... I don't believe I've read in any book or any history book that the law is "men have the right to cheat." It's cheap, it means the person has no respect for themselves and absolutely no respect for those around him/her. When you cheat it's because you are immature, unsure of yourself and need to prove you still "have it in you."

I have known my husband for 38 years, and been married 33 years and neither of us have cheated. Have we felt like it? I'm sure on one or two occasions when things were tough we felt like packing it in and doing so, but we talked it out and came to compromises. We respect each other. If we decided to call it quits we wouldn't cheat, but sit down with each other and tell the truth.

We live in a society where many people don't try anymore. It appears easier to sulk, get angry and find any excuse to leave a mate whether married or not. Well folks, we don't keep our looks forever and one day it all comes full circle.

I think of my marriage like I am a contender in a race I really want to win (not coming in 2nd or 3rd) but winning! It's tough, it takes courage, commitment, communication, sometimes a short vacation to cool off, but the hard work pays off and the rewards are endless if you "win that race!" For those of you that get glory out of skipping out on commitments, take a look at yourselves in the mirror in 30 years! You've heard of Dorian Gray!

Marcy


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Men cheat...women cheat...we are all a bunch of cheaters. And even if some don't cheat, they are sure to have had an urge at some point or another. The only problem is that our society has created the ideal that it is socially acceptable for a man to have multiple lovers, but it is considered immoral for a woman to do so. I will be the first to admit (as a woman entering her sexual peak) that I crave sex-not only from my boyfriend of three years, but from many attractive men that I flirt with every day. But the difference between me and the average male is that I have self control. True, as a woman I have been brainwashed into believing that sex (with parteners other than my future husband) is wrong since the age of 5, but the usage of self control is not limited to the female species. The whole "evolutionary/johnny appleseed" excuse doesn't cut it. Humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason-because we are rational/intelligent human beings. Men who use the "need to spread seed" excuse are weak, and you know what happens to the weak? Its called natural selection. If people can't use their brains to control their physical urges than they should do the human race a favor and stop procreating. Don't pass your weak genes on to any future offspring. Doing so will only weaken the species of enlightened and intelligent beings on earth. Perhaps they should just mate with apes...it would be a much more suitable pairing.


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i guess everyone tapped on all the reasons: ego boosting, unhappiness, selfishness, genetic, nature, yadda yadda... and the communication between people...husband wife etc.. i tend to agree with them all, the communication thing however is not that simple...men are scared to communicate some women won't listen so it's not like people sit down and can really truly open up... i think cheating is a bandaid for some, but yeah, the communication would be ideal... but i know from listening to both men and women, by the time someone has cheated or considered it the female is so resentful, the male is too that it would be volatile.. so nothing gets resolved and then the issue is out in the open and it's frightening for everyone... -- not the cheating stuff, but the junk that leads up to it.. the detached male struggling all the damn time, the unhappy wife, no one is happy, and so cheating sometimes enters the relationship.. it 's not simple and i don't think male bashing is cool, cause i have seen and heard some pretty roaring bitches out there that care only about themselves.. doubt they would really want to hear a man has feelings--finally and needs some nurturing.. nope, she doesnt' wanna think her man is getting weak.... too much for everyone.


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I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. I sort of understand, however in no way condone, his recent cheating episode/side fling. We have been arguing alot lately and he started seeing someone in another state, going every weekend to New Jersey to be with her. I found this out (smart me) because his cell was going off early morning and I looked on his phone and it said the girl's name and #>>he actually programmed her name and number in his phone, how cocky is that?? When I called her she said she just recently started seeing him, and that she knew him from high school, I confronted him and he denied it saying he loved me and I was not that girl to cheat on, suffice to say he denied, denied, denied, not wanting our relationship to end but wanting his thing on the side, reading all these opinions I wonder, if all guys cheat, or the majority, why leave a guy if the only thing he does is strays? Stupid, I know.




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This is for "Betrayed Fiance" Believe your man.

And she's trying to split you up so she can get him.

There are ways she could have found out a lot of intimate details. Did he have a relationship of any kind with him before you? Or with someone else who could have told her? Some information that might seem to be only available to a sex partner COULD be learned in the locker room at the gym. Did she ever date one of his close friends?

PS I got hard just reading your post. Wish I had a mate like you.


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men love sex. they may have a girfriend or wife but usually partners dont always satisfy eachother in the bedroom. its easier for men to go out and screw somebody else than it is to learn to communicate about their feelings, sexual desires, etc. they dont cheat to hurt their partners, theyre just bored, horny bastards. men dont have as many responsibilities as women, especially women with kids. they have extra time to try to find ways to fulfill themselves. if women had this luxory, we may go out more, come across attractive men more often, get their attention and who knows where that may lead...women have motherly instincts and we usually are care-givers and nurturers. we are emotional. we prob cant imagine just having sex, getting up and leaving - men arent emotionally attached, its a physical sensation. they usually dont mean to hurt anyone. they act on urges. we ladies may lust after good-looking guys and a group of women will blab about the latest hot, sexy star or guy but we would much rather be in a loving relationship with someone that adores us. we want the closeness and intimacy. and ladies, we all know that we usually dont give it up to our partners the way we used to...men may comment on it but who knows what that really does to their self esteem? imagine if we approached our loved one for a little hanky panky and they said they had a headache or acted uninterested and rolled over - we'd be crushed! so be a little more considerate and sexy. you dont have to have the greatest body to be sexy, just act interested and thats sexy in itself. body image is a huge hang-up for women but if you let yourself be turned on thats sexy and beautiful! the guys body parts dont look any better than yours but they could care less! overall, men are selfish, immature and aren't really taught how to be honest or handle the emotional side of a relationship. women do nag too much, lose interest in sex to easily and can be over-emotional about things and sometimes a man will never win with a woman. theres no concrete answer, both sides have their faults and before you know it, theres a total breakdown of communication and resentment. men need to be stroked all the time, women want to be adored all the time and life is full of stress, problems, etc....making it difficult to fulfill eachothers needs all the time. i think we expect someone else to make us happy - big mistake. your demanding something that is not anyone else's responsibility but your own. i do hate liars and cheats - it's happened to me numerous times - i've picked the wrong men, usually good-looking ones who can have just about anybody they want and do... at some point i have to quit whining about how awful they are and begin to look at myself...why would i put up with that crap? so i have alot of thinking and learning to do! usually many factors lead to a man cheating. all of the posts offer reasons, excuses, insight. even when it appears that a man has everything in a woman - loyal, honest, beautiful, great friend, good humor, good in the sack, strong, good mother, etc. and he still cheats - it's ego and immaturity and a need for spice. sexually speaking, i don't know that one woman is enough for a man - men are in heat all the time. heck, even if they don't cheat, it's guaranteed they masturbate and prob enjoy porn, etc. men are addicted to T&A. Testosterone controls them. i think i'm going to focus on being realistic rather than living in a dream world of happily ever after.


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To be completly honest men cheat for one reason. They LOVE the ATTENTION. People love attention, and in many cases guys love to know that many girls want to be with them. I believe that most guys cheat when they are younger and know that it doesnt matter. They may still love the person they are with, but at the same time they may not have the ability to say no to the onslaught of a blatant female attacker. I would have to say in most cases it isnt the guy going out of his way to cheat on his girlfriend. It is more the guy seeing if anyone is interested in him. If someone is interested then something might happen. But a guy rarely will go out and think "I'm going to go cheat on my girlfriend tonite." My point... Is that there is no point. Guys do these things usually thanks to alcohol, and in most cases wake up feeling like arseholes. This isnt to say that what they have done is ok, but mainly what they have done hasnt been thought about. They will not have set out to hurt their girlfriend.



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Men cheat because they can. The wife chooses not to see it and believes his lies. Until he gets caught. Once caught he will stop for a little while. But will do it again-because if the Mrs forgave him once she most likely will do it again. Or he just isn't happy-stuck it out because it is what he is suppose to do-kids are invovled. If this is the case-then his affairs are spaced out-like in years apart. He is afraid to leave. I could go into more detail but would take to long. Just wanted to respond after reading some of the replies. Men don't have to cheat they choose to for what ever reason they choose. It's a choice.


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I believe that there are two kinds of cheaters. People who cheat because of a certain reason(i.e. lack of satsifying sex life, need to feel desired, etc) and there are men who cheat just because they can. In my opinion the men that cheat and have a reason aren't necessarily doing as bad a deed as say the men that do it "just because they can" or "for there ego". Case in point. I have a friend who has been married for 7.5 years. His wife was in a tragic accident that has made her paralyzed. She can no longer have sex. Now he loves her, he always has but he does have affairs on the side. They are for good reason though. Would he be better off leaving her after she has had an accident that makes her physiclly unable to perform and have satisfying sex? What would be her chances of finding a relationsip then? Would putting her through the heartbreak make her feel any better about herself? Or is it better that he has the occasional meaningless affair(safe I might add) and stays with her. Even without a situation as extreme as this I think that if you have a reason to cheat then that is the collective responsibility of the couple. They should have better communication, engage in a more fulfilling sex life, etc; you have to take ownership of your relationship and someone cheating can have as much to do with you(male or female) as it does with someone else. Now for the men who cheat just to do it, or to boost their ego. That in my opinion is unacceptable. If you feel the need to have multiple partners, then have them; but don't get into a relationship and drag someone else down because you are insecure. That is just my opinion though, everyone has there own.


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Isn't it obvious that there is something wrong in the way our great modern society operates and our mind works? For men, love and sex has nothing to do together. It's two different things. Yet, for a woman it's all connected.

I think the reason we cheat, us men, is because we can! My first marriage lasted 12 years and never and I swear not once I have cheated on my wife. But then I embarked on another full-time relationship and it's been 2 years now and YES I have cheated this time. Do I feel ashamed? Not really. Do I feel bad for my girlfriend? A bit and I wouldnâ€â„¢t want her to know! Would I be mad if she cheated on me? Of course I would!

But, in the end, is cheating really all that bad? I'm not so sure. Let me explain...

For hundreds of years, we, North-Americans have evolved and were raised to believe that cheating is wrong. And to some extreme it really is, like any kind of excess. Yet, in some countries having 5 wives is socially, religiously and morally accepted! And are those people breaking up and killing each other? NO they're not! In fact, the divorce rate is higher than ever in North-America compare to the rest of the world.

My point is, maybe the problem for people cheating (not just men anymore!) could simply be because it is not of our nature after all to be in long-term-exclusive relationships but instead to spread around and populate! Deep down we are instinctively made to reproduce, both men and woman. Like the ape age before us and animals. Of course it's great for the ego but I believe that there is much more to it than just selfishness and having fun.

The human race constantly evolves and I am sure that eventually, one day in a hundred years maybe, "cheating" will not be considered a big ugly monster no more.

Finally, as far as feelings are involved, it will sum up to something greater and hearts wonâ€â„¢t be broken anymore for this.



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I am sorry to tell all you ladies out there, but men are going to cheat no matter what. and it has nothing to do with how great you are or how much they love you. i have been with this guy for over a year and he loves me and respects me, but he has an uncontrollable urge to have variety in his sex life and there's not a damn thing that can be done about it. It is just in their mentality, so we either accept it, or have some kind of an don't aski don't tell arrangement. and having threesomes is a good idea, but it won't stop the cheating.


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To: 'Almighty One' Your definition of natural selection is incorrect. It has nothing to do with 'cheating'. "The process in nature by which, according to Darwin's theory of evolution, only the organisms best adapted to their environment tend to survive and transmit their genetic characteristics in increasing numbers to succeeding generations while those less adapted tend to be eliminated." (GuruNet definition). Possibly you should consider educating yourself, maybe take a course in anthropology before spouting a buch of bullshit in order to excuse your own selfish behaviour. Nice try, though. I guess the name says it all, instead of 'Almighty One', you should consider 'Ignorant Bastard'. P.S. I am not saying that it is not possible that there may be a biological basis for our cheating behaviours, but consider that if so, maybe this would apply to both sexes, since women currently cheat just about as much as men. As an educated women, I have not heard that biology has been unequivocally shown to be a reason for cheating. If this were the case, then wouldn't everyone would cheat all the time?




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i know a married man whom cheated on his wife and some of his reasons were because he isn't happy with his relationship, and sex has went downhill. i asked him why he wouldn't leave his wife and he said it's because he didn't want to lose what he worked so hard for and her son would be so upset cause he only knows him as father. so his reason for cheating is unhappy relationship, and sex reasons.


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"all men cheat" "all women lie" "all children steal" these are blanket statements. I have cheated as a women. I didn't feel bad because I broke up w/ the boyfriend right away, not out of guilt though; I have enough cognition to know that my relationship wasn't working. Now I am confused as to whether or not two people should really be together until death. No one is perfect. People cheat. It isn't something done without choice though. Oh even drunk it is a choice. Weighing out the consequences and the final choice of just wanting another person beyond any consequences. I would prefer for someone to be honest with me and tell me that they were thinking about sleeping w/ another person. I think that I would even consider the possiblity that sexual freedom is another one afforded to all Americans. Married or not as opposed to being lied to and betrayed and feeling like a fool. But that never happens. Going behind the back is the whole point. Like the chicken or the egg. Would it even happen if the person was single? It would be ideal if we could practice free love but what you end up getting and giving are STD's, bastard children and broken families.



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because they are pigs.


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Men cheat because its is a genetically inherited trait that instills in the males (some animal species included) the need to procreate with multiple females of the species in order to ensure the preservation of the species. Humans have adopted, not adapted, to the monogamus relationship by the order of civilized society. In reality, the concept of monogamy is not an inherited trait, but a learned one. some choose to abide by this civil rule, some don't.


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Some men cheat, some women cheat... other just lie about it. The female body has always been astonishing to the male mind and men are only human. They are creatures of nature and mammals with instinct. Cheating is wrong, but I also believe that there are reasons for these things. I am going to use men as a example, because as a woman I've had many bad experiences with cheats and liars.

Some men are board with their immediate life and situation. They think about all they are missing out on, perhaps he were quite the stud in his days and is now married or in a steady relationship with someone he really love. They don't want to hurt or loose their partner, but they still don't want to feel that they are lost to the world of mysterious, kinky sex and ecstatic oral behaviour with various of different sexy women. They might feel that they are loosing their touch or are really unhappy in their currant "place" in their life. By this place I mean trapped in a marriage they don't want to be in or staynig together for the kids sake. Others just cheats for fun or the thrill of getting away with it OR all the other reasonable yet unacceptable excuses.

No matter how loving or caring your wife or partner might be... some men will never be satisfied. I just want to tell all you men out there that if you really want to cheat and sacrifice a wonderfull relationship you have with the one you really love for some lustful event...just make sure she is worth it and better that the woman you have now, because you will definately loose out. The one you cheat with is never the one you love at the end of the day!

Ladies, if you really love your man and want to give your relationship another go, you can try to understand his urge for passion and sex with other objects. Not that you don't give him passion, but as I said...what else is out there?.. See if you can make a effort together to make your sex life a little more exciting. Even if you think it's excellent...remember a man is never satisfied.

And for all you who are "OTHER WOMAN", just remember ons thing. You are nothing but a sex object. You will never be loved, just used. You will never feel passion, just a empty hole after he left to go back to his loving wife. You will never be thought of, just a lustful flashback with no face and last of all... more that 99.9% of the men that used you will NEVER leave their wives... because they LOVE THEM!!


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Dear ladies, I do believe that some men will always cheat, but everyone is human. Some cheats are just a spur of the moment thing no one can explain and it is normally followed by regret and resentfulness. My fiance of 3 years has cheated on me before, but after many months of struggling and trust issues and loads of hard work I would say that our relationship is even stronger than before. Yes it will take time, but working through this process made me realise how much different men are from women. It got me to know alot more than meets the eye. Men are complex beings and at the end of the day... they really do have the ability to love. Once they love someone, it's not that easy to move on and everyone make mistakes.

Don't sacrifice your relationship for some stupid mistake. Stand by your man in his time of weakness!! He needs you and fight for him. Don't just give up what you worked so hard for. Everyone makes mistakes, but that is why we learn. If he really loves you and is really scared of loosing you... he won't cheat again!


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I doubt very seriously that all men cheat, just as I'm quite sure that not all women cheat either, btu a significant percentage do.

Why do some men cheat? I dunno, but I'd hazard a guess that it's because there are plenty of willing female partners out there.


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Because:

other people are something new and different
you have no old baggage with someone new
maybe they want something with no strings
different people have different likes and dislikes
their spouses might not be interested in doing the sexual things the men want to try out (e.g. oral, greek, 3-ways, etc.) or even afraid or morally against such kinks.
Someone earlier said that if a man "knew what he was doing in the bedroom" that a women would want to definitely be with him, and he'd never need to take on a lover. That's wishful thinking. That just doesn't necessarily follow.

Why? Because men can. So can women. Monogamy is, for the most part, a human invention (yes, there are a few animal species that practice it).

> There aren't actually. Studies have been done that prove that even animals that mate for life (eg. dolphins, swans, love birds etc.) fool around on their mates regularly. It makes biological sense to not put all your eggs in one basket. There's a difference between bonding for life to raise a family and help each other catch fish say, and saying that you can never have sex with anyone but that particular mate. You may as well say that once you're married, you should stop breathing!


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Why do men cheat, why do women cheat? Going through and reading these posts...to my disappointment I didn't see one person, not one person mentioned anything about how God wanted us to live our lives. God created Adam, and from Adam he created Eve. IN THE BIBLE, remember this book?.. God says to Adam and Eve be fruitful and multiply. It also states in the bible, ONE man and ONE woman in partnership...not three or ten or twenty. Remember the word ADULTERY, yeah one of the greatest sins you could ever commit and man...I sure see a lot of you headin your way to hell and this is sad. Where do you people think marriage came from...out of the blue one day...God gave us this blessing, this wonderful gift called marriage to bind the hearts of two people who love one another and only one another...it is His rule and His law. This is why you get married, because you love that person, because you want to spend the rest of your life with that ONE person. I see nothing but a bunch a silly excuses but also some good points too...but the reason that society is out of control sexually is that God is not part of a lot of our lives...and we've seem to extinguish Him out of a lot of things..and lets see...men and women are constantly given images of the "perfect" woman and "perfect" man they see the visual and that's what they want...nothing more but a fantasy...I mean you watch movies, commercials you hear what's said on the radio talk shows...it's nothing but sex, death, drugs, sex, sex...etc. Like one of the posts in here..cheating is a choice like everything else in this world...and there's no excuse for it. It's morally wrong in the eyes of society and in the eyes of the beholder. If you can't control yourselves then DON'T get married and DON'T be in a relationship...stay single the rest of your miserable little lives. It's natural and only human to look at the opposite sex and think that someone's attractive...but this doesn't mean act on it especially when your committed to someone and supposidly love that person. LOL...I'm sorry I also have to comment on the "evolution" bit....when are people going to come back to earth and be realistic...if we evolved from apes or monkeys what have you....then there would be no apes or monkeys left in the world...hmmmm...gee....any light bulbs come on yet, or did I burn some out? Anywho...thanks for reading this post...and to those of you who are struggling in relationships...if God brings you to it...always remember...He'll bring you through it...have faith and let Him take control of your life...you'll see things change for the better...trust me!


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what the hec! instead of blaming your man or the other man about cheating why dont you gals just go out and have fun with the guys u most crave or have the wildest sex of ur life. JUST FORGET OR DONT BOTHER WHAT A MAN DOES OR HURTS OR CHEATS. if u r married and found that ur husband is cheating, dont feel hurted just go out there and say yes to the guy next door who had been waiting long for your answer but make sure that he is trustful to not let ur husband know about it and if ur cheater husband finds it, you know what to say then. ofcourse you would cry like a baby and ask for forgiveness and promise that u wont do it again (till he goes to the office). and to the gals who are not married yet, puhlease forget that asshole anyways he is not worth of ur true love. i know its difficult but u gotta do it. it will take time but it will happen sooner if u involve urself with a fling just for a time being with a very understanding and trustable guy. it works !!

for the people who had already been cheated, its how the way we take our lives to be, just ask urself a question do i want to make my life beautiful or i want to ruin myself, its all in ur hands. make ur mind strong, have faith, have hope.

instead of begging for loyalty, go ahead and try cheating urself. u might endup in a complete mess if u choose a bad guy. if a guy seems to be bad then he is BAD, dont try to pacify urself that he will CHANGE, becos he WONT. be very strict in choosing and one day you might find a very good person and would live with happily ever after!!


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Men who claim to love you then cheat, do not love anyone other than themselves. They are lying to you, the women they cheat with as well as themselves. It is all about self worth in every aspect. They want their cake and eat it too.


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Ultimately it comes down to some need not being met. The majority of the time the cheating husband explains that the other woman made him feel good / excited / wanted / etc and they did not get that at home. Why cheat instead of ending the relationship that they are unhappy with? Fear of the unknows, children, perception of others if they ended the relationship, they are still in love with their spouse and hope that it will work out and the need will be fulfilled at home. I found some excellent information athttp://www.infidelity-help.us.com/that helped to answer these types of questions.


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Why do men cheat? well i think the answer for each is different. I myself landed on this website searching for a plausible answer myself. I don't believe that all cheaters are in it just for the sex. Sex is the tool sometimes. Almost everyone said it. They are looking for something they aren't getting at home. Attention, love, support, frienship, the need to feel wanted, something new and don't forget something old. I happen to know a man who is getting maried and is cheating on his fiance with an old girlfriend. It is true that some people have sex additions and those people should not get married however society suggest that marriage is the appropriate thing to do. Which adds to my next point. Just because a man marries you or a women marries a man does not mean they made the right choice. It's much easier to settle now and wander later than to be patient and wait for someone who totally fullfills you. Our society is lazy when it comes to making importnt choices. One night stands are different than affairs. One one night stands are typically mistakes. Affairs are more deeply rooted. Someone wrote " the time that is spent hiding the affair and the thought involved with making up lies could easily be spent investing in the relationship they are in to make it better" hmmm well there is your answer. The choice is there. A man or woman who truly respects their partner would make the obvious and correct choice. If you think your man or woman is cheating..follow your gut its usually correct. and ladies it's not your fault...unless you are allowing it. I do agree that men and women will treat you however you allow them to. Its basic sociology.


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Some men (and women) may simply have emotional problems. Perhaps their value system was influenced while growing up by yet another person with poor and selfish or tacky nasty judgement.

Cheating can also be from incredibly low self esteem, little self worth, an emotional problem, untreated adult ADHD/ADD, substance abuse problems, maybe dad cheated too, maybe mom cheated, maybe the cheater is simply a person wihtout much of a conscience or a really great liar who will forever lie about important things to anyone's face.

There are decent men out there (and women) who understand what integrity, dignity, and self respect are. Sure, they do not come a dime a dozen, but that's why people should be very choosey, not rush into anything, not ignore warning signs or little red flags going up in their head through the dating process, etc.

The first time you even SUSPECT you have a liar or that you found out you have a liar, you can give the benefit of the doubt. The second lie, ok, maybe I missed something, but picking up on the third bold face lie? Time to go no matter how much you love that person. NO matter how great the sexual chemistry is. No matter how much they make in income, no matter how far along the pregnancy, etc.. Once you know what is going on, DO NOT IGNORE IT. It is time to grow up, face reality, and get the hell away from screwed up filth that know how to cry and talk their way out of a paper bag.


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There are three types of men in this world. The one who goes looks for it. The one who waits for it to come along and the one who will say no TWICE. Not all men cheat DEAD men don't cheat. If they are breathing they are cheating. Men can't resist temptation. This was from the very beginning Did Adams say no when eve tempted him with the forbidden truth? NO so don't kid yourselves.


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Listen I can not speak for all men. but I will state that all men do have or will have a desire to cheat. Rather they act on this desire is totally a different issue but the desire will come nonetheless. I have been married for almost seven years now and I am in excellent condition because I work out and I am handsome and attractive fellow. My wife also is a very attractive woman with guys hitting on her more then I would care to see. But neither one of us has ever gone outside of the relationship. To be frank I have had my opportunities on many occasions where a woman who knows I am married will just come right at me and say "hey what's up" if you know what I mean. So I wouldn't say if the opportunity is there men will cheat because the opportunities have been there many of time but I love my wife and family too much to risk losing them over a 15, 30, 45, minute screw after which I am going to be beating myself up for falling into temptation like that.


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According to recent polls by the new york times, on a poll of 1000 men and 1000 women, 55 percent of men cheated on a partner in their lives. but 59! percent of women also cheated...

no one is better than the other, if your partner cheated on you, chances are, its not lack of sex thats the problem, cheating is always a symptom of some other problem in the relationship.


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Trust me when i say women cheat just as much if not more then men (women are just better at it ) When i was alot younger i did alot of cheating , and i'm not sure why I think it was just the thrill of being with another women (something diffrent if you will ) but i have now been with the same person for 11 years with no cheating after i went through a world of **** with my ex her doing most of the lieing and cheating, I will tell you that if you guys that are cheating would come home and find your wife or girlfriend sucking or ******* some other guy you would flip out and go crazy, ( because you think that your a stud and she would never do that to you) well guess what, she might love you she might care about you , but if you walk on her she will go somewhere else, wich does not make it right, but it will open your eyes to what you have been doing and for along time you will be asking yourself why would she do that to me, what was i doing wrong, o she's just a whore, but let me tell you somthing if that happens blame yourself as if i had shown her more effection and spent more time with her and had not been dragging her through the dirt then she probably would not have done what she did. if you treat her right and not be so narrow minded just do simple things like flowers just because , instead of to makup with her and things of that nature you won't have any problems and if you do get rid of her fast, and women if dog your man ***** at his every move, and give him no privacy, this will not keep him from cheating (if anything it makes men want to cheat more) instead treat him like a king understand that he needs time in the garage or with his freinds just away from the family or wife ( this does not mean he does not love you but that he needs his time to himself( My ex would ***** because i was not up her *** when i got home from work but i looked at it as when i'm at work im not relaxed thats not time to myself, i have to deal with a lot of problems at work and when i get home i like to take a shower and relax for 5 minutes before she came over going so what do you want for dinner or when are we going to the store these things tend to anoy a man alot, not that we don't love you just let us breath somtimes, and although we pretend like we have all the answers we really don't


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men cheat because theres something missing in there relationship, like lust,passionate,love,effection from there partners thats why men cheat they are not satified in there relationship..


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men cheat beacuse they are dogs!


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why man cheat? till now i don't have the answer. what's the meaning of cheating? my spouse cheat on me so many times i lost count and lost my trust with him. the way he do it whenever he goues outstation he will find someone to do whatever i don't know. h elied to me everytime. today i caught him again and he said he didn;t do anything he just called the girl sometimes more than 4 times a day till late at nite. i asked him why he keep doing what he;s doing he said he's not happy and wants to seperate. i said ok i'll have the form ready by the time he comes back. then he call back trying to explain. the truth is he hurts me so much. and a few weeks ago while i was waiting for him to pick me up to go to the hospital cause i suffer a miscarriage he can still find the time to call one of the gal while i was waiting for him to arrived. i don't know why he do it cause he's not giving me the answer but everytime i try asking he will always try to make as if all this are my fault.


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I really couldn't say why men cheat on their wives or girlfriends but I'm sure it is a weakness of some sort. I will say however, that if I were dating and found out that person was married that would be it. If they cheated with you they won't stop with you. And, I would never want to be the one, no matter how in love with the man I was, that is talked about or known as the home breaker. It's more than your own heart that breaks, let him go, send him home to his wife. Always remember it could be you on the other end of the stick and being a home wreaker and is not a good title.


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im not sure... quite frankly. i looked at this because at this very moment, my boyfriend is at his prom with another girl. you are prolly wondering why though. well, he told me that this girl is strictly his friend and that she asked him to prom before he knew me. this is logical but very unfortunate. almost all of my friends [who don't even know my boyfriend] seem to suspect that he will cheat on me. i'm not gonna lie; that really worries me. i would never ever cheat on him! in fact, i've had the opportunity and turned it down. he knows this too. he was very supportive of me in my decision and seemed grateful that i chose to stay faithful to him. he is a great guy and i like him alot and i think he likes me alot, nonetheless, i am so scared of the fact that he could be cheating on me right now! it would simply break my heart! he knows that too... and he's told me i don't hafta worry but i still am worried! the other night when i was with him the girl called him simply to chat and didn't care that i was with him. thank goodness he told her he had to go, but it strikes me as strange that if they were really "friends" why she wouldn't just let him have his time with his girlfriend. i'd like to think that he won't cheat, but who knows?


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After having read this, hell no wonder a guy cheats. First off let me point out something: a few posts down you notice how a girl hounds her boyfriend, doesn't allow him enough respect for his privacy by reading his mobile messages, swindles in with his friends, etc. <-- Woman, let me tell you something, in all, you need to learn from your current situation. You totally have no respeact or trust in this relationship at all. I give it 6 months at best.

As for most, not all men cheat.. I myself have never cheated on my wife of going on 6 years now. Never even considered the option.. the whole prospective of views you are laying out is totally disturbing. You have to wonder why the guy cheats here, these apply to both genders:

A.) Sexual relations with spouse: A good sex drive is healty for both, not only that but the relationship as well. Putting your spouses attentiveness aside to sleep when the other wants something, enough times, pushes the other away.

B.) Lack of trust/respect: The main point of a relationship is trust. There can't be trust if you don't respect your partner enough to allow them their own privacy. Sure, every relationship has bumps.. I've not see one who doesn't have a disagreement or fight, but when it goes to the point of pointing fingers, having the other followed, having to snoop to cure your own feelings about your spouse, than it's prolly time that you get out before you do more harm.

(If you blame them for the above and they aren't, then you'll pushing them in that general direction. If you're getting blamed for it, might as well do it)

C.) Maturity: as shown in these posts.. a lot of people don't have them even here. To the point of marriage, it takes a maturity rating above 0 for it to work, devotion, and hard work. Marriage isn't a game, and admit it, women are good at head games.. men try and keep up, but fail.

To sum it up, if you're not devoted to one another completely, with trust, honesty, and respect. Your relationship is bound to fail. A relationship was meant to grow, not poof and there it is. The persons maturity has a lot to do with it, along with their background.

Now before you completely point a finger, think your 'man' is cheating, think about it. There are signs that something could be wrong, but those signs are so general in view that women take a couple and jump the gun, causing more fights and problems than it's worth..

An example here would be my life (yes, there have been doubts on my end). More over, it wasn't myself who was having the thoughts of affair, but my spouse. It was a flirt that went further than expected, but not as one would classify "home run". We are about as different as night and day in some areas, but we don't allow that to create much of an issue. I'm ex military, I love the outdoors.. she's more of a couch patato.. where does that leave us? "OH HE'S HAVING AN AFFAIR BECAUSE HE WENT FISHING ALL DAY!! OMG U SUXORS!!!" No, not at all, there is a little more respect than that, but it takes the trust for it to develope to the point.. along with maturity.. I hide nothing from my wife, and she knows when somethings bothering me, as I do her. Communication is a great foundation for a relationship.. but it only works with trust and respect for your partner. Both parties in the relationship aren't going to like/enjoy the same as the other, but a compromise is what is going to be required. In the instance of our indoor/outdoor differences, miniture golf! A quick outdoors game she can enjoy..

So before you go pointing fingers, or snooping, talk with your spouse.. in most instances it's more an indifference that creates the whole "he's cheating" rather than the actual thing.


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I WISH I KNEW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION. I HAVE BEEN WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR CLOSE TO FIVE YEARS. HE HAS CHEATED SEVERAL TIMES WITH THE SAME WOMAN. HE WAS SEEING US BOTH AT THE SAME TIME. WHEN WE BOTH CONFORNTED HIM HE HAD NO ANSWERS, IT SEEMED THAT HE WAS IN LOVE WITH BOTH BUT OF CORSE I GAVE HIM THE CHOICE OF GOING WOTH HER AND I WOULD STEP ASIDE. BUT HE CHOOSE TO STAY WITH ME OR AT LEAST I THOUGHT A FEW MONTHS LATER I CAUGHT HIM AGAIN BUT THIS TIME IT WAS NOT JUST ONE IT WAS TWO OTHERS AS WELL. WE ARE STILL TOGETHER AND HE SAYS HE IS NOT CHEATING ANYMORE , HE DOESN'T WANT TO LOSE ME BUT I DON'T TRUST HIM COMPLETELY AND CANT' TRUST HIM THERE'S NO WAY I CAN. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH THAT I CAN'T LET HIM GO. I GUESS IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT I STILL HAVE FAITH THAT HE WILL BE FAITHFUL. HE PROMISES OVER AGIAN THAT WE WILL BE MARRIED SOON BUT THAT I CANNOT BELEIVE EITHER UNTIL IT ACTUALLY HAPPENS. I DO THINK THAT EVERY MAN CHEATS. MY FATHER DID IT TO MY MOTHER, MY BROTHERS HAVE DONE IT TO THEIR GIRLFRIENDS AND NOW MY VERY OWN PARTNER HAS DONE IT TO ME! MEN ARE CHEATERS BUT WE WOMAN LOVE THEM NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO AND THAT IS THE PROBLEM!


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Lets face it for every married man cheating there is a woman behind it she is willing to even know that he is married and is fine with it but wish's to continue. Why should he divorce his wife lose his family lose half his pay checks when he can have his cake and eat it too? For me woman are worst then men they are always going after somthing they cant have and could care less about what happens to the mans wife and family. There are even woman that will confront the wife because the husband wants both and is not willing to choose not that this is ok I just thank that it must be known that the woman has to be willing to sleep with your man and not give a damn nor dose he but it takes 2.


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Well, where to start... I have been married for almost 9 years now. For the last 7 I have been extremely unhappy and have toyed with the fantasies of an affair. However, due to my background, I never did. But after awhile the constant suspicion, accusations, generally overwhelming insecurity, jealousy, and smothering, there isn't a lot of spark in the old marriage. She is so insecure and jealous that she is derogatory to any female I mention, work with, even the wives in our SS class! It is depressing to be around her and talk to her, not to mention the fighting. God knows I have tried to work things out with her, but her STATED attitude is, "I'll go to counseling, if it will fix you"! I know I have faults, but so does she, and she won't admit it or work with me. I provide for her and our children, but she is derogatory about that and not grateful. Worse yet, she complains that I am gone, at work, making $ to support her lazy ***! She wants me to take out a $1m life ins, so if I die, she never has to work!! When I explained that that is not financially feasible, she got mad! In 10 years, all the kids will be in school full time (and will have been) and there is no reason she couldn't work part time to supplement the life ins. But, no, she would rather yell at me for not making her life easy. Now my wife is good in bed, when SHE wants it. She cooks like a gourmet, if SHE feels like it. She washes the clothes, if SHE needs something - but I will go sometimes 2 weeks without fresh pants, etc. because she doesn't like to do it (and BTW, she gets mad whenever I try to do the laundry - I am willing to). She cleans the house (not dust and vaccuum, just basic picking up) only when SHE is afraid of what someone will think of her slobbiness (ie: she picks up if we are hosting a family party for BD's, etc). And she has gone from letting herself go, physically, to trying to get me to stop working out and taking care of myself. She has always complained about me working out, because "you're away from me", but now she is deliberately trying to get me to let myself go and look like a slob. Last of all, when I try to talk with her, she clams up because "you're lecturing me" which always occurs after she starts attacking what I believe with lies. I don't believe in divorce, but if we didn't have kids, I would have left a long time ago.

So....

I cheated because after years of smothering, overwhelming jealousy and untrue and unfounded accusations, living in a pigpen with someone who can't even be bothered to do the basics, being looked down on while trying to give her what she wants, being used for her satisfaction, and made to feel like I was 'using' her if she didn't want sex, and then having my feelings and pleas scoffed at because "all you care about is sex, you don't really have feelings" I found someone at a company training who liked me. Not love, we knew it was short term, but someone who accepted me, and respected me. And yes, she blew my wife out of the bed (I actually used to tell my friends that my wife was the best person I had ever had sex with, so this really surprised me).

I know I was not right. But it takes two to tango - both to keep the marriage working, and to make the affair happen. Right now, I don't know. I love my wife (when she is asleep and looks innocent, kind of like the kids :-) but I can't stand her, but can't afford a divorce either. Right now, the other woman makes me want ot be a better person, so that is what I am going to try to do. Make some changes in my life, to benefit myself, my kids, and my wife. And take the rest as it comes.

Thanks for reading, hope this helps someone before it is too late...


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I guess this applies to younger relationships (ie. not married, but serious enough):

I think some men do it because sometimes they just think of women as posessions: like a car. Maybe they're not bad guys but in certain times they forget that a relationship is supposed to be about love. A guy will always want a better car if he can afford or get it. It doesn't even matter how great the car you're in right now is...if you see a better, more expensive, shinier car (or how it seems in your mind)...you want it. When they can get it...they take it.

And even if it was a mistake...things will never be the same because you've shown your significant other that you think they're not enough.

The women they cheat with, if they do know that the man is taken, is insensitive or narcisistic. They love the attention and don't care how they get it. If a man who cheats with you on their loved one, it must mean you're really something: it makes them feel good about themselves.


This of course, does not apply to every man or woman...I'm...just offering one point of view.


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LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN

I'M A GUY, AND I'LL GIVE THIS ONE FOR FREE. THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF WOMEN IN THE WORLD, ONE YOU GROW OUT OF, THE OTHER YOU GROW INTO, BE THE LATTER. IF YOU ACT LIKE A LADY, A MAN HAS TO TREAT YOU LIKE A LADY, IF YOU ACT ANOTHER WAY, YOU'LL BE TREATED ANOTHER WAY. MAKE THEM LOVE YOU THAT INCUMBERS RESPECT. RUN TELL DAT. 2%-KINGC


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MEN OR WOMEN WE ALL CHEAT


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People are so use to conforming to what society says should be happening. Why does anyone cheat and why is the divorce rate over 50%. With all the people in the world we are suppose to pick one person to love,have sex with and spend the rest of our lives with;emotionally fine we can probably find that, but what is the most pleasurable than to do in the world, have sex, right. I can not and should not be expected to limit this pleasure to one body type, smell, look. If you "love" rollercoasters do you only get on one for the rest of your life, hell no, you seek out other rollercoasters that will give you different speeds, turns, thrills. It's all good!


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I'm a little stuck on a decision I have to make. I've been dating this guy for seven months I just found out that he never brook up with his ex girlfriend who lives a few states away. He told me that he has wanted to break up with her for a long time he just doesn’t have the guts to do it and would keep putting it off. He said when we first started dating he blocked any consequences it would have out of his mind because he didn’t think he could have serious feelings for anyone. Then we started to have very strong feelings for each other. I told him that I wanted to try to make things work between us, because he said he wants to be with me. And I gave him an ultimatum either he breaks up with her right away or its over between us. Now I know this probable sounds crazy because you don’t know either of us. We did have a great relationship. I feel that he is a great person that messed up big time. I know how he feels because last year I was engaged and cheated on my fiancé for a month. I know that mistakes happen sometimes you use bad judgment and you try to block the consequences out of your mind. So let me add a few more points to this so it can help with an accurate response. He only saw her twice since we were together. I asked him honestly how he felt about the both of us his response was that she is a nice girl and they do have fun together but she is to dependent and would never give him any space and he could never see him self with her forever. and then his response about me was that he enjoys my company very much I make him laugh, and most important I give him space I don’t give him a hard time about anything and that’s what he loves about me. So what do you think?


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Men’s reason for their cheating is because they’re stupid, drunk and doesn’t know what they were doing? What kind of reason is that?!?!? I just found out that my boyfriend cheated on me and it’s not just any other woman it’s the type of person that you can pay to have men’s craving to be satisfied! We’ve been in a serious relationship for 7 years and never have I imagined that this will happen. He promised everything and convinced me that I’m the only one. You know after learning about this, I was devastated and a part of me just died; not only because I found out about it because I also caught a disease for what he did. He kept this from me for months and lied to me flat out when I had a gut feeling something happened. He admitted it finally when I he found out what had happen to me and said that he was drunk and doesn’t know what he was thinking and he was so stupid!! Now he said that he’s feeling guilty about what happen and didn’t know why he did what he did! He also admitted that he was with his friends when it happened! What’s up with that? What kind of friends who condone their friend that it is ok??? How could other men who cheats say that because they were drunk they don’t know what had happened? How much beer is it that it takes before their urges kicks in or they can’t just help to satisfy their itch? What I’m surprised about what happened to me is that how could he tell me that he’s too drunk to think and control himself if he can count the money to pay someone? I don’t think I can never trust men again as much as I could before and I know other men who was cheated on feels the same way.


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Mean cheat because women make them.


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Men probably cheat for the same number of reasons women do. However, I was once told by a marriage counselor that one of the reasons men cheat is to experience sexual fulfillment without any attachments (no responsibility, no commitment, no worry, no love). I suppose its the "sexual freedom" that is exhilerating for men. That doesn't mean they don't love thier wives, it just means that thier wives have that "attachment" that can't be separated in their love. Further, its highly possible that many men do not understand the concept of changing love. I think that's why they experience the "seven year itch". Psychology books explain that "romantic love" cannot last longer than 5 years and then the love turns into companionate love. I think that most men feel as though the love has diminished when the romance diminishes. However, if given the chance, they could learn that companionate love can be romantic and a much deeper love that can last forever. But there's probably many other contributing factors such as boredom, low self esteem, feeling unappreciated or unattractive. The bottom line is that when men cheat (or women) most of the time there's no-one to blame but themselves.


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Im currently in a relationship , i have been dating this guy for aprox.11 months on and off. Not till the second time we got back together did i relise what went on before with another girl and him. he had cheated and it devestated me and honestly, there is no point of cheating, guys u might as well dump her n then do it because it hurts more in the end if ur still together and you find that ur not attracted to ur girl. There is no getting over when a guy cheats on you, bc everytime im with him i think about him n i question myslef if he is again and wut do these girl give him that i dont? ik i shouldnt have gotton back with him but i dont trust him bc ik he stil cheats..this is a hard topic to understand bc i guess eveyone has there own reason to cheat, but take my advice, dont cheat..bc if u do u never kno how much of a good girl you could b loosing by cheating


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This is such a comliplicated issue for a behavior that is essentially very simple. Men need to have sex- and that's the end of it. We can draw a line very easily between sex and love. This is something that is not as easy for most women to do (as far as I know).

Sex gets boring after a while for most people. I know many couples who are together or married for a number of years and they all have the same complaints about the lack of sex: both the women and the men. Presumably no one is cheating in those relationships. Most of them joke about it- but there's always a little truth in those kinds of jokes.

Ask yourself: what's wrong with a little sex on the side (health risks aside). Most people would agree that we'd all be happier if we had it more often. I'm sorry of this offends anyone- but for people who expect to get married and only have sex with the spouse for ever, well, that's terribly arrogant in my view. I think I am reasonably skilled a sex after my 36 years- but I know that sometimes the fire gets a little lower (read as "boring") for me and my spouse. I can tell you that I quietly get some elsewhere when I need to and I suspect very strongly that "she" (my spouse) does too. We don't discuss it, we are both adults and I can tell you that I am crazy about my spouse. I would lose my mind if I was ever alone with out her. My feelings in this area have not a single thing to do with sex.

I know women are very tortured by this. I have heard this subject come up a lot with women over the years and I don't expect my few paragraphs to be a revelation to anyone; but I hope it's a little helpful to some worried women out there.

Don't worry. It's just sex. Be smart and see the larger picture.


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I just read every post on the cheating issue and only a few made any sense to me. I was shocked at what a dismal prospect most of you make. I especially like the one about God, and also the ex military man. Thank you! I was beginning to think I was reading a cheap novel and not a good one at that.

I was disgusted that most of you took it so lightly that ALL MEN cheat and it's simply not a true statement. I left a post and I've been married for 33 years, and one thing my husband and I pride ourselves on is honesty. If we weren't happy with each other we would divorce and not cheat! Cheating is immature, low, deceitful and a cop out!!! Most of my married friends have been married for over 30 years and only 2 of them cheated (both were women!)

I am not saying each of us hasn't been close to wanting more attention, more affection at times, but cheating doesn't resolve a thing. It's just cheap thrills.

I'm getting tired of the male bashing here. Women are a mess! That stat of 59% of women cheat on their men is so true and if you want to talk about egos and being vein then ladies ... you are the icing on the cake! Women are more interested in themselves, how they look, are they beautiful, do they have a good figure, etc., etc. They are either whining about diets, plastic surgery, yadda, yadda, yadda. Most women simply need to get a life and get a hobby, volunteer (actually do something for someone else without getting paid for it) and not hang off their mates expecting one compliment after the other.

The statement a poster made "if the guy didn't cheat then he wasn't very attractive" is simply not true. My hubby is a hunk and women are all over him and not once has he cheated on me. Am I stupid enough to think he has eyes only for me ... nope! I think he has fantacies of being with one of those women, but, he stays with me. I have fantacies too, but both of us agree on one thing ... "look, don't touch!"

I've been cheated on before with my first husband. Not only did he cheat on me, but his mistress. I refused to let that idiot sour me against men, because I have met some fine men in my time.

Do your research! People cheat because they are spoiled, self indulgent and it's easier to cheat then to face up to failure and it's easier to use the excuse that one is bored with his/her spouse ... what a lousy cop out!

Something none of you mentioned was diseases out there. If you cheat on your mate and sleep with one person, that person could have slept with 10 or more people and are you sure you haven't picked up a surprise to bring home to your wife or your hubby? Really think about that one.

There are no excuses for cheating! If you're lonely from lack of affection, you are bored, you don't feel loved, then at least have the guts to separate and see someone else. You know why you don't do it? Because most of you want your cake and eat it too. You want to be sure if the new relationship doesn't work out you can come back to "home sweet home." What weaklings!

Some people hate commitments in this modern society and are so idiotic about what they read and see on TV they think they can bop their way through their lives and not hurt their partners. Now how selfish is that one?

As far as what men did 1,000 years ago, I don't think I want to be hit over the head and dragged into some cave and chew on a piece of rawhide the rest of my life. We evolved thank God!

Speaking of God, I do agree with that poster, but one thing, there is infidelity in the Bible and not everyone got married.

If I wanted to have more than one husband I'd have to be out of my mind! One is enough! If you can't handle one, then you sure as heck can't handle more.

The old saying goes, "Some men open their flies and their brains fall out" but hey, ladies ... "some women can open their mouths too much but little of what they have to say makes sense!"

Simple conclusion ... men and women can cheat, but NOT ALL of us cheat! Nice going. You lose!

Marcy


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I think what a lot of us are doing here is trying to provide our experiences as a way of answering this question. What we all seem to be doing is applying value judgements. Clearly there are a lot of differeing moral positions on the subject.

I don't think any of us are able to properly, clinically answer this question.


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Men cheat because they are horny scumbags. Think about a man who tells you he cheated on his wife of twenty years. Is there any excuse for that? He could have divorced her first instead he chose to cheat on her, tell her, ruin her life. Once a cheat always a cheat and don't let him tell you any different. Men are selfish pigs. Spinless selfish pigs at that. Lying cheating scumbags. And for you men who say nothing wrong with it you also total losers.


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Animals cheat. Plants cheat. (Do you think that a flower in a field closes up its pistils when the pollen of a 'stranger' floats through the breeze?)

The problem with cheating is that someone decided it WAS cheating.

As a living creature, I exist in a world of uncertainty, pain and suffering. As a human being, I am aware of my own death. The thought of pain and dying and death are uncomfortable thoughts. Thoughts of good food, sex, comfort, companionship, etc... are pleasant.

People take drugs because the drugs are pleasurable. They bring comfort, euphoria, relief, etc. Eventually, if they use a drug enough, it stops being as effective as it once was. In order to bring that comfort back, many people step up to harder drugs.

Sometimes, people meet someone else who make them feel more complete, more happy, more content. They immensely enjoy this feeling and crave more of it. The problem, though, is that this 'romantic' feeling can only last as long as there is mystery.

When people first meet, they don't know anything about the other person and the other person doesn't know anything about them. Because we want the comfort and pleasure of being accepted, we often tend to try our hardest to appear to be whatever that person is looking for. After time passes, more and more of our 'true' self comes out and both people can get somewhat dissillusioned.

People get comfortable with each other and STOP TRYING to impress each other. They are now so comfortable with THEIR OWN IMAGE OF YOU that they figure you will accept them "AS THEY TRULY ARE." But you, of course, are in love with and comfortable with YOUR (not theirs) false IMAGE of them. So when you you start to see things about them that don't fit with your own idealized image, you start to doubt, and the comfort and certainty and stability and etc that they were (falsely) providing doesn't feel as good as it once did.

At this point, people will often go looking for someone new to begin this process all over again. But because of societal constraints on things like marriage, monogamy, commitment, etc. it is often not socially acceptable to admit that the marriage wasn't a good fit.

When boredom replaces excitement, when 'the real world' replaces mystery, when you find out that Prince Charming has bad credit.... the real world (full of pain, uncertainty, death, suffering, etc) comes crashing back into your little party. When that happens, people go looking for something (or someone) new to fill that void and make life exciting, fun and worthwhile again.

Men and women 'cheat' because that is their nature. They are on a journey that they started alone (birth) and will end alone (death).


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Damn!!! That last answer was so on... Not sure I could add to it and make it more clear.

We all just wanted to be liked and wanted. Want to be desired and loved. Cheating is just a way to get all those good things that leave when you start to get to know each other and you can't see that wonderful person in your wife or husband. You love them but you want more, want to feel special.

Cheating is a human contruct...


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OH! WOMEN DON'T CHEAT HUNH! MEN ALWAYS CHEAT? Does this mean that they are cheating even when having sex with thier wives.

NATURE OF WOMEN- FIRST WOMAN - EVE GAVE IN TO HER OWN FLESHLY DESIRES BEFORE FIRST MAN - ADAM LEARNED FROM HER AND DID THE SAME THING AND THE BEAT GOES ON!

THERE IS ONE WHOM DID NOT CHEAT ON ANYONE, NOT EVEN GOD! WE ALL CONSENTED TO HIM BEING TORTURED TO DEATH ON A CROSS BY CONTINUING TO DO WHAT WE SEE OTHERS DOING EVEN WHILE CONDEMNING THEM FOR DOING IT. IF YOU ARE PERFECT AND HAVE NEVER EVER CHEATED, EVEN ON GOD THEN BE THE FIRST PICK A STONE AND THROW IT AT WHOMEVER YOU -KNOW- IS CHEATING AND DOING SOMETHING THAT DESERVES YOUR JUDGEMENT. OOPS I AM REMISS IN THAT HE WHOM WAS TORTURED TO DEATH ON THAT CROSS WILLINGLY ALLOWS US TO THROW STONES AT HIM AND TORTURE HIM IN OUR PLACE. IT DOES SAY THAT SHE WAS HIS HELPMEET, MEANING THAT WE ARE EQUALS IN GUILT.


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Both men and women cheat on their partners weather or not they are married or have a girlfriend. Men or women will cheat because they no longer feel satisfied in their marriage or relationship. They feel that they should explore different avenues.


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It's quite simple. People cheat on their spouses because they have no concept of love. All they can fathom in life is stuffing their corpulant lips with as much pleasure inducing poision as possible, all the while becoming more twisted and distraught. They only understand base animal pleasure, and therefore are unable to accept and adhere to the deep concepts of the soul.

Most people would be better off humping themselves into an early grave than getting married.


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What a sexist question! Maybe you should look closer to home for the answer. People wouldn't cheat if they were in a loving relationship. That goes for Men and Women.


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I do agree with the ladies that men do cheat more than women. However i thought about this and tried to reach the root of the problem. The root of the problem that i believe is the fact that people have lost thier moral and religious values. Yes! men do feel strong desire towards cheating(As some one posted that it is also because of the male genes...), but that does not justify thier actions. This is because i myself was a type of person who had almost no moral values in his life. So i did get into relationships and i did lie thinking things would become better, but the fact of the matter is that once i understood my religion, and started practicing, i was a different human being. The key word is "HUMAN BEING". I am still a human being and thats why I still get tempted by strong desires but i control them because of my moral values. I mean i am an 18 year old teenage who feels temptation every single day of my life, but my attachment to this religion and asking God for help, gives me strength to fight my desires. I chose being the slave of god over being slave of my desires.

Another thing that i want to mention is that men cheat because they have an easy access to cheating. They can have sex with other women easily, simply because it is easily available. So this is to tell women to smarten up and not let the men fool them so easily. How about let them prove to you that they are serious about the relationship before any action. Men know very well that before getting some action they must pretend that thier love is pure. I think women need to smarten up and realize that any men can sweet talk and make thier way into thier hearts and thus in thier bed. What diffrentiates a man who is just there to fool around and a real man who actually wants to take the relationship to the next level is "MARRIAGE". WOMEN must impliment the idea of "NO SEX BEFOR MARRIAGE" if they want a TRUE MAN. Imagine if every woman implemented this, It would become almost imposible for a man to jsut go out and cheat on his wife, because he knows that there is a barrier between him and sex with another woman which is MARRIAGE, thus serious responsibility.

I ask all the women to consider this and think about this seriuosly because i sincerly think that the issue of CHEATING is becomming more widespread and the consequence for this is going to be un imaginable. Trust between husband and wife would be completely eradicated and thus it would be almost impossible to see a happy couple. My sincere advice to all of you is to know that this life is not a joke and there is more to life than just sex and drugs. There is a purpose to life. I would recommend that you guys go and hear this speech by a sociologist on "Purpose of Life" I really liked it and i benefitted a lot from it. I hope that you will also benefit from it. It helps one to come out of these problems and look at life with a bigger picture.

http://www.as-sahwah.com/playaudio.php?audioID=39&audiopartID=26&

Thanks a lot for listening, I hope i didnt bore you guys :)


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they always cheat because they think they can get away with it.






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Men are genetically programed to be dominate. It has to do with testosterone levels. That is also the reason some men are more over baring then others and why men on the average are physically stronger then women. As for intelligence men have no advantages. Women manipulate men more then they will ever admit. As for one race having an advantage over another, I think that has to do with social evolution. You take two children of different races and raze them together in the same manner and you will fined little difference in who and what they become.