What should I do...? My husband is 21 years old, we have a daughter that is 2 and He basically refuses to get a job. I don't know what is his problem. Every time he has a chance, he comes up with some kind of excuse. Then he tries to come up with an excuse to me about why he didn't go. I know he is young, so am I. I am 22. I am sick of everyone saying that it is because he is young. I have had a job since I was 16. (except for when I was off for Maternity for one of our kids.) I am so fed up that I am seriously wanting to leave him. I am here for real advice. Please Help... I am desperateThanks!!
2006-10-09 09:18:20 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband is a father and has a family and absolutely needs to get a job. If he refuses for so long then there really is nothing you can do to change him. He is being selfish and is not willing to live up to his responsibilities.
You have two choices:
1) Allow him to live free and clear and do as he wishes without responsibility and have not one but two children to take care of.
2) Quit asking for him to change and take matters into your own hands. Ask him to leave because he has no interest in being married or having a family. If he refuses, you leave and find another place to live. Turn off everything in your name from the previous residence. Hire a lawyer and get papers for separation. If he gets ugly, and he probably will because he will not be mature enough to handle this, then you will have to get a restraining order against him.
I only provide advice this strong because you stated that you are desparate. If you are serious about this situation then there are lots of people out there to help you.
2006-10-09 09:29:25 · answer #1 · answered by r_k_winters 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You must give him an ultimatum, tell him to find a job now or leave, and mean it. if he tells you he didn't find a job in 2 weeks he is lying and tell him to leave and not come back until he is working, i told the same thing to my husband when he just moved in with me and didn't have a job, he had a job the same week. the there are jobs out there don't let him tell you otherwise and be strong, this is for the best, the only thing that can happen is;
1: he will get a job and find out he enjoys getting paid for it.
2: he will not get a job and you will know this is not the man for you he is not a real man and will only take you down with him, do whats best for you and your daughter. Get rid of a loser.
Good Luck
2006-10-09 09:52:03 · answer #2 · answered by mari r 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation with my kids father and I had to leave him because I can do bad by myself. If he's not going to be a man what do u need him for? What type of role model is he for your child, father or not. In another year or two your daughter will realize mommy works but daddy stays home that's not cute. I realized it was better when I left because I didn't have the stress of worrying about him looking for a job did he go to the interview etc. etc. You are going to have to become stronger mentally and let this man know you are not playing games either he get a job within a certain amount of time or your gone as a man you suppose to be the leader of your household not a dependent.
2006-10-09 09:29:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I got marry I was just going to turn eighteen and my husband was 22 years old at the time. He had two jobs and sometimes even three at the same time. Your husband is not young anymore. He and who ever is telling you that he is two young and that it is okay for him not to work is a lame excused. What you need to do is let him know that you will not tolerate his immaturity and that if he does not buckle up you will have to do it on your own. Of course I'm not telling you to divorce him but is a way of scarring him and hopefully that will work. Good luck.
2006-10-09 10:06:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he doesnt get a job within 2 weeks,,he is out the door,,if he doesnt leave,,then you leave when he is not there for the safty of you & your child.Hey,,maybe he will then wake up & you may end up back together but,,he has to be working at least a few months before you make that decidion.If you decide that you want to move on ,,then do so.He will then have to pay child support.This will show him either way that you mean bussiness.You now have your daughter to look out for so do the right thing by telling him how its going to be if he wants to be with you & her.
2006-10-09 09:24:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are focusing too much energy that you need on your partner what you really should do is get your children in a safe haven and work as hard as you can and move on your own ,pay your own way and settle your self .then go after him for child support ,if he refuses then just have him locked up. and in jail he will be forced to work, and his wages will go towards your children .remember your not alone in this type of situation, there are so many woman facing the same dilema ,you are in right now . that was a helpful solution ,I gave a friend and now she has her own company. and the kids are in college .and she is still un married ,but she has a great life, and I send blessings to her always. for being strong and never giving up.I don't know how you ,are but when more woman with partners ,like that .They should wake up and become independant .and stop being a floormat for their man ..We are strong when put against a wall.
2006-10-09 09:40:17 · answer #6 · answered by lytesdelite 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a leech and has absolutely no idea nor desire to be a man. Been there, done that. It didn't work for me, and probably won't work for you. He may be young, but that is NO excuse. As long as you continue to "enable" him (by working & supporting him) he will continue to ride the free train. I know that that sounds harsh, and you "love" him, but experience has taught me a thing or two. I "loved" him too, but love didn't feed my daughter, and love didn't pay the electric bill. It takes two to make it these days.....time for your husband to learn how to add.
Best advice: leave him. If he gets a job, great, go back to him. If not, he's a bum and is only using you. Tell him to find another mother.
Good Luck
2006-10-09 09:27:50 · answer #7 · answered by manatee lover 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should get him or both of you some professional advice, and try to know what are the real reasons your husband doesn't want to work. If this doesn't work, then, my dear, leave him alone, because you can give yourself the excuse that he is too young, but you know this reason is not good enough when it comes to reality. Good luck!
2006-10-09 10:20:31 · answer #8 · answered by candywhiteandrew 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to step up and take responsibility. He has a family - being young doesn't change that. You need to talk to him and let him know that you are tired of supporting him and unless he steps up - you should get out. You are taking care of yourself, kids and him anyway - if you leave - you he will have to take care of himself and you will have one less person to worry about. I'm sure you love your husband but you also don't want your kids growing up thinking that this behavior is ok. Like you said - you are young and seem to be on the right track - working, taking care of things. It wont be wont be that hard to move on then.
Good Luck!
2006-10-10 04:39:28 · answer #9 · answered by ~Dee~ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So permit me get this at contemporary. you do not artwork, so your husband is the only provider of earnings on your loved ones. He works 12-14 hours an afternoon, and that's a situation. Did you not think of it may be once you made the selection for purely certainly one of you to artwork? of direction he's going to ought to artwork long hours. the guy's probably in simple terms under pressure approximately the place he could get his next paycheck if he supply up this one. He can't be effective at his contemporary interest if he's continuously being hounded by using you to offer up AND attempting to secretly seem for employment someplace else which will pay in simple terms as properly with fewer hours. refer to him lower back. Ask him why he would not prefer to offer up extremely than telling him why he ought to. danger is he will open as much as you, and the two certainly one of you are able to bypass from there.
2016-11-27 03:08:41 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋